


End of my dreams

by fanficfanxx



Series: Dreams series [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/F, F/M, Romance, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 49,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficfanxx/pseuds/fanficfanxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Clarke were together for over two years. Now they're broken up and Lexa must deal with missing Clarke everyday. They have to work together for a project for school. They grow close again. In the mean time Lexa discovers that the book that they're reading might have been her and Clarke in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reality

Chapter 1: reality

 

‘’What do you call it when you’re not exactly heartbroken but your mood changes when you see them in the hallway? Or when you’re sitting in the library on a computer, typing a document while you hear them laugh and you stop typing. When te sound of their voice makes your stomach feel like it’s running a marathon and your throat feels like you need water.’’ Lexa felt like this everytime ever since she and Clarke broke up to years ago. Her ex girlfriend found herself a new love interest very soon after that, his name was Finn. Clarke and Finn have been the schools favorite it couple. Clarke and Lexa didn’t talk after Lexa found out she had been dating Finn in secret. They shared one period together, but even then they avoided eachother at all cost.  
Lexa just arrived at school, she was a bit late because of the traffic today. It had been crazy. She rushed to her History classroom. She was afraid mr. Kane would be angry because he hated it if peope were too late. Lexa knew that they had to work on an assignment. Today would be the day that every classmate needed to choose a partner. In the past Lexa would’ve loved to work with Clarke, but since their break-up. Every word, ended in a fight. They ended in bad terms.  
Lexa ran through the hallway and knocked on the door of the classroom that was at the left in the end of the hallway. ‘’Come in, Woods. Late as always I see.’’ Lexa walked into the classroom without saying anything back to her teacher. She knew mr. Kane didn’t like her because of the fact, that Lexa had dated his step-daughter, no one other than Clarke Griffin. ‘’Woods, your place has been taken, you can sit in the back next to Griffin.’’  
Lexa looked with fierce eyes to her teacher but didn’t say a word and walked to the back of the classroom. She looked at the blonde that was sitting behind the table, with a chair empty right next to her. The blonde looked away, her eyes staring at the tabling. Lexa didn’t really pay any attention to Clarkes behaviour and sat down.  
‘’Okay, good. Now we can continue with the assignment. I was just explaining what I expect from you guys before Woods walked in’’ Kane said a bit irritated.  
Kane explained the assignment and told the class to work with the people they were sitting next too. Lexa was furious because the last thing she wanted, was to work with Clarke. But before she got lost in her thoughts again, Clarke looked her right in the eyes. ‘’Lexa’’ she said. The way Clarke said her name made her feel uncomfortable. Lexa still looked away, and nodded at Clarke. ‘’Okay, we know what we need to do, let’s just do it as fast as possible. We both need a good grade for this project, so let’s make the best of it’’ said Clarke. ‘’Yeah sure’’ Lexa nodded.  
‘’Alright everyone, you can work on your assignment the rest of this period. If you have any questions you can find me in my office. Goodluck everyone’’ mr Kane said.  
Kane left the classroom right after this. Clarke turned to Lexa again and stared right at her. Lexa still looked away but decided to stand above this and just get a good grade. ‘’Alright, so we need to research this book called ‘’The grounders 13th clan’’. I guess we both need to read that book first so we can start with the assignment, do you know the book, Clarke?’’ ‘’Yes I know that book. We can find it in the library, can you meet me after our last period in the school library so we can work on this? Because I kind of have to go now.’’ ‘’Yeah sure’’ Lexa said a bit annoyed.  
The rest of the periods had passed slow that day. Talking to Clarke again after all this time brought back a lot of memories, good and bad ones.  
Lexa didn’t want to be to late again so she headed to the school library. She walked through the building towards the basement, where the library was. When she arrived there Lexa looked around for Clarke and had spotted her near a guy with long black hair, he had an atletic build and was tall. It was no one other than Finn, Clarkes boyfriend. He leaned in and kissed Clarke. The sight of this made Lexa feel sick. Despite this, she walked towards Clarke. Clarke saw Lexa approaching and interrupted her kiss. ‘’Hi Lexa, you’re right on time. Gimme a second to say goodbye to Finn and then we can get started with our project.’’ Clarke turned around to face Finn again, she noticed the he seemded slightly irritated that Lexa interrupted them, but she didn’t bother to bring that up. ‘’Finn, I need to work on an assignment with Lexa. I’ll talk to you tonight’’ She kissed him goodbye and gestured him to go.  
Lexa just stood there staring at the ground not wanting to look at everything she once had and lost in the blind of an eye. Clarke faced her and grabbed Lexa her wrist, ‘’Come with me’’ she giggled. Lexa nodded and followed Clarke to an empty table nearby. Clarke grabbed a book from the table and handed it over to Lexa. Lexa looked at the front of the book and was amazed by the design, an fierce woman in warrior cloth with a sword strapped at her side, with some kind of battle paint. Next to the fierce woman stood a girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes, she looked very scarred, like she caried the weight of the world on her shoulder. Unlike the fierce woman, this girl wore normal clothes, jeans, a blue jacket and a ripped t-shirt. ‘’This looks amazing, what’s this book about?’’ Lexa wondered. ‘’This book is about a war between two different kind of people. At first you have the grounders, the woman on the front in the battle armor is the leader of the grounders. According to the book her name was Alexandria kom Trigeda, also called Heda, what means Commander. She brought together twelve different clans to avoid anymore wars. Her legacy was peace’’ Clarke said. ‘’What about this other girl?’’ Lexa asked curiously. ‘’The second girl, the blonde one in the normal clothes is the leader of the Skypeople. Her name is never said in the book, just a nickname ‘’Wanheda’’. Wanheda was the leader of the skypeople. She came from the sky after a nuclear war had destroyed the earth. It became radioactive, so the only survivors went to space to save the human race. Years passed by and the skypeople survived for over 90 years in space until they didn’t have enough oxygen anymore. So the skypeople sent Wanheda along with 99 others down to earth to see if it was survivable. A lot happened between that and the time that the other parts of the Ark came down. After a lot of deaths on both sides, Alexandria from the Grounders and Wanheda made a truse. In the mean time the two of them fell in love, but Alexandria had to be a leader to her people and had to made though choices and betrayed Wanheda. In the mean time, some friends of Wanheda were captured and needed saving, so Wanheda had to kill a lot of innocent people to achieve that. That’s why she has that nickname Wanheda, it means ‘’Commander of Death’’. After that Wanheda met Alexandria again and they decided that their had been enough war so they wanted peace. They were working towards peace, in the book that was called ‘’Blood must not have Blood’’. They almost achieved that until one of Alexandrias subjects shot her accidentally and she died right in the arms of Wanheda. After that Wanheda was broken but she remained a visionary and worked towards her goal anyway. To have peace between the Skypeople and the Grounders. Wanheda succeeded in this, so she was named Commander. This way she lost her nickname Wanheda and became Heda. She lived on with the wisedom from Alexandria and never forget her. No one knows what happened with Wanheda after that.’’  
Lexa was really amazed by this story and was somehow intrigued by the way Wanheda lived on even after losing someone she loved. ‘’Wow, that’s beautiful. So for the assignment we need to write a dialogue out of this book, and act it out in front of the class right?’’ Lexa asked. Clarke nodded ‘’Yes.’’ ‘’Alright I’ll read this week. How about we work on it Friday, after school?’’ Clarke nodded again. After that there fell an awkward silence between them so Lexa decided to call it quits for today and left. ‘’See you then, bye.’’ Clarke also said goodbye and walked towards the other end of the library where Finn appeared again.  
Lexa herself grabbed the book and she satdown on a couch nearby to start reading. Somehow this story attracted her. She had a weird feeling about it, something she couldn’t explain. She was sucked back to reality when she saw Clarke and Finn laughing.


	2. We're all stories in the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa discovers that the Grounder books have something to do with her. In the meantime she is working together with Clarke and the two grow closer again.

Chapter 2: We're all stories in the end

Lexa was in her bedroom deeply focused on the book. She was reading a chapter called the rise of Wanheda. Lexa was facinated by this book and she wanted to know more about what happened between the two leaders. Clarkes summary was cool, but something, pushed Lexa to read the whole story.  
‘’ Chapter 14: The rise of Wanheda’’  
Wanheda was captured by the Ice Nation prince who was ordered to bring her unharmed. After the defeat of the Mountain men, people saw Wanheda as a legend. A lot of people wanted to kill her because of this. They believed that the person who killed her would become immortal. Wanheda was dragged down before the throne. The Ice Nation Prince lifted the cloth of Wanheda her head and said ‘’Wanheda, as promised’’. The Commander looked at Wanheda when she saw the she was injured. ‘’The deal was for you to bring her unharmed.’’ ‘’She didn’t come easy’’ said the Prince. Alexandria knew that Wanheda hated her for the betrayal but she had no choice. Alexandria walked towards and freed her. ‘’I need you, war is brewing’’ the Commander said. Wanheda looked pissed off and spat in the face of the commander before. Alexandria didn’t respond to this and nodded to her guards, to drag Wanheda away. When Wanheda dissapeared into the hallway, the commander walked towards her balcony.   
Clarke and Lexa met the next day in the library. She was exactly on time and saw Clarke already standing there with Finn. They seemed to be having an argument, Clarke looked kind of angry and Finn looked guilty until he saw Lexa standing in the distance. He got a annoyed look on his face when Lexa was standing near them. ‘’Hi, sorry for interrupting. But we should get to work. I have to work tonight, so I don’t have a lot of time’’ Lexa said. Clarke finally relaxed when she heard Lexa. ‘’You’re right, let’s get to work’’ she said to Lexa. After that she turned to Finn and looked at him ‘’Finn, I have to work on my project with Lexa, but don’t worry. I’l see you tonight’’ she said while leaning in for a quick kiss. Finn looked annoyed but leaned in anyway and kissed her back. After that, he said goodbye and walked out of the library.  
‘’Okay, we can sit at that table’’ Clarke said while pointing at an empty table. Lexa nodded and followed Clarke back to the table. They both sat down.  
’’Alright, until how far where you able to read the book?’’ Clarke asked. ‘’Until the beginning of chapter 14 ‘’The rise of Wanheda’’ Lexa answered. ‘’Wow, you’ve read a lot in a short time. I can tell you the rest of the chapter if you want so we can get started on a start with our reenactment. I think it’s the best if we make a logical story out of it’’ Clarke said. Lexa nodded. ‘’Alright I’ll tell you more about the rest of the chapter. So you’ve read that the Ice Nation Prince, the son of Queen Nia, Leader of the Ice Nation, brought Wanheda before the Commander. This confrontation didn’t go as planned, and Wanheda got dragged away. The two of them didn’t see each other until one week later. This is when the Commander walked into the chambers of Wanheda to talk. Alexandria, tried to talk calmly to Wanheda but that didn’t go so well. Wanheda was angry at the Commander and blamed everything on her. Alexandria told her, that it was easier for Wanheda to blame Alexandria than to blame herself. Wanheda pulled a knife on the Commander and held it to her throat, she cried during this. And after this the Commander said.. I..’’ ‘’I never meant to turn you into this’’ Lexa said interrupting Clarke. Clarke looked confused at Lexa. ‘’Yeah, wait what. Did you read that already?’’ Clarke asked surprised. ‘’No..I just it seemed familiar to me somehow’’ she said confused. ‘’How did you know that Lexa?’’ ‘’I don’t know.. I just..knew’’ Lexa said.   
After that awkward incident Clarke finished telling her summary about how Alexandria had apoligised and told Lexa that this was the first step towards finding peace between the Grounders and the Skypeople.   
‘’So that’s what happened in chapter 14. How about we get to work with the beginning. Did you have any ideas fort he beginning, Lexa?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Yeah, I thought it would be awesome if we play the reenactment as the two leaders. Like we act as the Commander and Wanheda. We could explain their bound this way, and show the meaning of it’’ Lexa said convinced that her idea was a good one.  
‘’Yes, that sounds great. Who’s gonna play who?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Well, if you look at the sketches at the front of the book, you can see that the Commander has brown hair just like me, and Wanheda has blonde hair, just like you. How about you play Wanheda?’’  
‘’Okay, cool! I like that character a lot.’’  
‘’Maybe we can begin with writing their first meeting’’ Clarke suggested.  
‘’Yeah, that would be amazing. How about we both write a first meeting and show it to each other the next time we meet to work on this project?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yeah cool. Afterwards we can check the prequel of this book and look into how that meeting really went.’’  
Lexa was surprised to hear there was another book about The grounders and the Skypeople. ‘’Okay’’ Lexa nodded.  
‘’How about I come over to you tomorrow?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Uhm..’’ Lexa got lost in her thoughts. Clarke hadn’t been in her house since their break-up so it felt a bit weird. But she didn’t want to fail Clarke so she nodded and agreed that they would meet at 1pm in the afternoon. They both said goodbye and left the library.

Lexa got home and walked to her room to start writing about the Commander and Wanheda their first meeting. She grabbed a piece of paper and started writing ‘’It was already late in the afternoon when Wanheda of the skypeople walked towards the Commanders tent trying to make a deal to save her people. The tent couldn’t be missed, it was in the center of the Grounder camp and above this the biggest one there is. There were a few guards standing in front of the tent. One of them was named Gustus. He was very protective of the Commander. So he threatened Wanheda ‘’if you so much as look at her the wrong way, I’ll slit your throat’’. Wanheda wasn’t impressed by this and walked into the tent. She looked straight at a throne standing in the middle of the tent. A girl, not much older than her was sitting on it. She looked fierce in warrior clothing. With wairpaint on her face. Wanheda knew that this was the Commander by the way everyone was standing around her. The silence in the tent was interrupted by the Commander ‘’You’re the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive.’’ ‘’You’re the one who sent them there to kill us’’ Wanheda said. The Commander looked a bit irritated by Wanheda her behaviour. She sat on her throne with a dagger in her hands and put into the wood of the throne itself ‘’do you have an answer for me?’’ she asked. ‘’I’ve come to make you an offer’’. ‘’This is not an negotiation.’’ One of the guards looked angry and turned towards her Commander ‘’Let me kill her and get this over with’’. The Commander gestured at the guard to stop talking and was still staring Wanheda straight in the eyes. ‘’I can help you beat the mountain men’’ Clarke said. ‘’Go on’’ said the Commander. ‘’Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather. Kept in cages, their blood is used as medicine’’. ‘’How do you know this?’’ the Commander asked a bit suspicious. ‘’Because I saw them. My people are prisoners there too. I was one of them.’’ The guard interrupted Clarke and stated that she was lying ‘’Lies. No one escapes the mountain.’’ Clarke looked at the guard and looked confident and stated ‘’I did, with Anya. We fought our way out together.’’ The Commander looked suspicious at this but before she could say anything she was interrupted by her guard ‘’Another lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her’’. Wanheda didn’t say anything but reached for her pocket, in this moment all the guards in the tent including the Commander were ready to life their weapon and attack Wanheda. Until they saw Wanheda holding a braid in her hand ‘’She told me you were her second. I’m sure she’d want you to have this’’ Said Wanheda while stepping closer to the Commanders throne. The Commander accepted the braid from Wanheda and looked at it. It was silent for a moment until the guard interrupted again and said ‘’we don’t know it’s hers.’’ ‘’Shut up, Indra’’ the Commander said. ‘’Anya was my mentor, before I was called to lead my people.’’ Wanheda nodded at the Commander. The Commander put the braid at the side of her throne and asked ‘’Did she die well?’’ ‘’Yes. By my side. Trying to get a message to you.’’ ‘’What message?’’ asked the Commander. ‘’The only way to save both our people is if we join together.’’ Indra interrupted again and stated ‘’Those who are about to die will say anything.’’ The Commander looked slightly irritated ‘’I’m still waiting for an offer.’’ ‘’The mountain men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back’’ said Wanheda. ‘’IMPOSSIBLE! COMMANDER, I BEG YOU LET ME KILL HER!’’ Indra said angry. Clarke interrupted and said ‘’I’ve done it with Lincoln.’’ Indra rushed angry towards Wanheda ‘’That traitor was the reason my village was slaughtered by your people’’ she said ice cold.’’ ‘’INDRA! ENOUGH!’’ the Commander yelled while standing up from her throne. Indra didn’t say a word after that, but looked with killer eyes at Wanheda but walked away to the side of the tent. The Commander stepped down the chairs that were in front of her throne, until she was staring directly into Wanheda her eyes. She looked intimidating. ‘’You say you can turn reapers back into men?’’ Wanheda nodded ‘’yes’’. ‘’Then prove it, show me Lincoln.’’ Wanheda gestured the Commander to follow her back to the dropship that was located in the woods. 

Lexa was done writing the first meeting and after re-reading it she was proud of herself. She thought I’d be cool to do it this way. It was a cold meeting but she thought it was fitting. She was tired from all that writing so she went to bed. 

Before Lexa knew it, it was already the next day. Clarke was coming over and she was a bit nervous about it. Lexa still had one picture with Clarke in a frame standing on her desk. The picture was taken years ago in a museum about space they visited 1,5 years ago. Lexa was craddling Clarke in the picture and they both looked happy. The picture was taken before all the bad things that had happened between them. Before Finn, before their break-up. Lexa got carried away long enough, to not have noticed Clarke walking into her room. ‘’Lex?’’ Clarke asked. ‘’Oh hi! Sorry I didn’t notice you. I was daydreaming I guess’’ she said quickly so she could put the photoframe away before Clarke saw it. ‘’No worries’’ Clarke said with a smile while walking into Lexa her bedroom. ‘’Wow this hasn’t changed a bit, since the last time I’ve been here.’’ ‘’True. I am happy with the way it was. At first I wasn’t and I tried to change everything after our break-up. But after that I realised that changing my room wouldn’t get rid of the memories because they would still be on my mind’’ Lexa said. She turned towards Clarke who was still standing in the middle of her room. ‘’You can sit on my bed if you want’’ she said to Clarke. Clarke nodded and sat down. ‘’You’re right. The memories are always on your mind. I did change my room. It just felt to familiar to what we had. I changed it when I began dating Finn one year ago. I didn’t want to look back at what us. So I tried to forget everything and start over. That’s why I didn’t talk to you..well that and of course the way how it ended..That was bad’’ Clarke said with a sad tone. Lexa just nodded and didn’t say a word. In moments like this she felt horrible, she had to face the fact that she had lost Clarke and that she moved on a long time ago. But why did it hurt after so long? That was a question, she didn’t know how to answer. So she accepted the fact that she and Clarke hadn’t talked for a long time, but were talking again after all this time. Before answering Clarke, she walked to her desk and grabbed the photoframe and handed it over to Clarke. ‘’Here, I’ve always kept it. I didn’t have the heart to throw it out’’ Lexa admitted. Clarke took the photo and looked at it ‘’we looked so happy. I remember this day so well, it was outside that museum we visited. You bought me that ridicilious lion T-shirt, so I bought you that Raccoon T-shirt and we laughed so hard.’’ ‘’Yeah, that was awesome’’ Lexa said with a smile. Clarke nodded, while still staring at the photo ‘’I don’t have any pictures left of us’’ she admitted. Those words hit Lexa look a knife struck in her heart. Clarke noticed the pain in Lexa her eyes before she changed in back into her stoic look she always had. Clarke knew Lexa never wanted to show her pain but didn’t bring it up. She looked at the picture again and looked at all those memories. Lexa noticed this and said ‘’Keep it if you want.’’ Clarke was surprised and looked up ‘’but what about you?’’ she asked.   
‘’Don’t worry. I’ve had it long enough.’’  
‘’No, Lexa I can’t take it. It’s yours’’ Clarke said.  
Lexa shook her head and sat down on her bed next to Clarke. She placed one hand on Clarke her cheek and lifted her chin up with the other. This way Clarke was staring directly into the bright green eyes of Lexa. She saw the caring in the eyes of Lexa and this meant a lot to her. ‘’Clarke, keep it. It’s yours’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’Thank you’’ Clarke said a bit shy before she pulled Lexa in for a hug. Lexa felt the warmth of her ex-girlfriend for the first time since a long time and it felt like home to her. Lexa pulled away and stood up from the bed grabbing the piece she wrote for their project and walked back to her bed and sat down next to Clarke again.  
‘’Here’’ She handed over the meeting between The Commander and Wanheda to Clarke so she could read it. ‘’It’s something I wrote, my idea about how the meeting went between the two of them.’’  
Clarke took the paper and read all of it. ‘’Wow, that’s impressive. But wait..Lexa..’’  
Clarke grabbed a book out of her bag and handed it over to Lexa. It was the prequel of the book they had to read for their project. ‘’This is for you. I think you’ll like it a lot.’’   
Lexa accepted the gift and stared at the front of the book, the tittle was in a foreign language ‘’Oso laik sontaim kom eno’’. Lexa faced towards Clarke and asked ‘’what does that tittle mean?’   
‘’I don’t know. No one knows except the writer of this book, but that person is unknown.’’  
‘’People say it’s meant to say something like :’’We’re all stories in the end.’’  
‘’That’s amazing’’ Lexa said. ‘’Thank you so much.’’   
Clarke nodded and wanted to say something but her ringing phone interrupted her. She picked it up and saw that it was Finn calling her. So she picked up the phone ‘’Hi, Finn. Can I call you back later? I’m at Lexas for homework. I’ll talk to you in a bit.’’ ‘’Sure’’ Finn said annoyed through the phone.  
She turned around and faced Lexa ‘’I’m sorry I’ve gotta go. I’l see you on Monday at school. Have a nice day’’ she said before she walked out of Lexas room and dissapeared as fast as she could. Lexa couldn’t say a word back because Clarke was already gone.   
Lexa grabbed the book from her bed and looked at the chapters index. She saw a chapter with the name ‘’The meeting’’. She rushed towards the page where the chapter began and started reading it ‘’ ’It was already late in the afternoon when Wanheda of the skypeople walked towards the Commanders tent trying to make a deal to save her people..’’ Lexa stopped reading when she realised she wrote the exact same thing on her paper. She started comparing it and every word was the same, even the names matched. When suddenly the truth hit her that this couldn’t be a coincidence. Something was going on with those books and she was determined to find out what it was.   
Not knowing she would soon start to remember everything..


	3. My dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa begins to have with dreams that have something to do with the books. She and Clarke also speak about their past and work together on their project.

Lexa was really tired of the afternoon she had spent with Clarke. It had been harder than she thought. Lexa knew that it had been a long time since she and Clarke broke up but spending time with her brought all the memories back. The good ones, but also the bad ones. She remembers the night that Clarke thought Lexa had cheated on her with Costia, her old best friend. This almost broke them apart. How could she have known that they would break-up only two weeks later on their anniversary. Lexa didn’t want to remember this so she went to bed. She hoped that this would help her forget Clarke for a second.   
After two hours of struggling to fall asleep, Lexa finally succeeded. She was in a deep sleep. Besides from Clarke, Lexa was completely fascinated by the Grounder books and she wanted to know more about these.   
Lexa woke up and looked up. She saw trees above her. Lexa sat up and she was in some sort of forest. She didn’t recognize the place where she was. Until she saw someone lying on the floor across from her. It seemed like a girl with blonde hair, curled up on the flair, probably asleep. Lexa didn’t believe that this was real so she rubbed her eyes to check if she was in a dream. Until she realized this was real. She stood up as fast as she could and walked slowly to the girl lying across from her. Lexa tapped the girl on her shoulder, trying to wake her up. When the girl turned around to face her, Lexa saw the girl looking at her. The eyes of the girl were filled with emotions. 

The girl sat up and looked Lexa in the eyes.  
‘’Goodmorning Heda. Is everything alright?’’  
Lexa stood there watching this girl call her Heda. She had never been more confused than in this moment. ‘’Heda?’’ Lexa thought in herself. It almost made her laugh.  
‘’Heda?’’ The girl asked again.  
Lexa had to concentrate on the girl, so she wouldn’t laugh. ‘’Yes?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’You seem a bit of Heda. I hope you had some sleep last night. It’s a long way home. I need your help getting there safe, you know that’’ the girl said.

Lexa didn’t say a word and just nodded at the girl, looking more confused than ever.  
The girl noticed this and was worried about The Commander ‘’Heda, you seem a bit off today. Maybe you should get some sleep’’ the girl suggested.  
‘’No thank you’’ Lexa said. ‘’I’m sorry but why do you call me Heda?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’That’s an odd question. Uhm..look at yourself, Heda. You’re the leader of the Grounders’’ the girl laughed.  
‘’The leader of what now!’’ Lexa said in shock.  
‘’The Grounders..the 12 clans..trikru?’’ the girl asked surprised.  
‘’Uhm..I have no idea what you’re talking about. I mean look at me. I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else..’’ Lexa said doubting everything in this moment.  
The blonde girl stood up and walked towards Lexa. She grabbed Lexa her hands and motioned for her to follow. 

‘’BEEP! BEEP!’’ Lexa’s alarm rang. ‘’BEEP! BEEP!’’.   
Lexa waked up in a shock. She had the weirdest dream that night. Something about her being called Heda. But the weirdest thing was, that it felt so real. Like she was right there, when the girl with the blonde hair was talking to her. Somehow it felt like she had been there before. Lexa looked at her alarm clock and realised it was already Sunday. She had a lot of work to do for her project with Clarke. She still had to finish the book so she was determined to read the rest of chapter 14 and 15. Lexa went to the bathroom to take a good shower and went downstairs after that to have breakfast. After that she went back upstairs to start in the book.

Lexa walked to her bedroom and sat down on her bed. She grabbed the book in her hands and looked at the front page again. The girl in her dreams, looked a lot like Wanheda. But Lexa knew that was only some weird dream. It’s not like she never dreamt weird before. One time she dreamt about her being a warrior, fighting some King. When she woke up the next morning, she had a noseblood. Somehow hilarious, because that happened in her dream because of the King who hit her straight in the face with his fists. But Lexa never read to much into this, she didn’t want her parents to know. Well atleast, her fosterparents. Lexa never knew her parents. They had died in an accident when she was only two months old. Ever since then, she had been in fostercare.

Lexa didn’t want to think about that because she still had a lot to read so she went to the rest of chapter 14 and al off chapter 15. 

The Commander walked into the chambers of Wanheda. When Wanheda turned around and faced the Commander who stood in the doorway.   
‘’What part of I won’t see you was unclear?’’ Wanheda snapped.  
‘’I respected your wishes for a week. We got bigger concerns’’ The Commander said.  
‘’We don’t have any concerns at all’’ Wanheda stated. The anger was all over her face except for her eyes. If you looked closely you could see the pain Wanheda had to endure the past few months. Standing across the Commander, who had betrayed her 3 months ago wasn’t easy for her. 

‘’Yes we do’’ The Commander said. ‘’I’m hosting a summup with Skaikru at sundown. You’ll be returned to your people’’ She said. The Commander was now standing closer to Wanheda than before. Wanheda walked a few paces towards her and said ‘’You went through all that trouble just to let me go’’. ‘’I went through all that trouble to save you’’ the Commander said.  
That angered Wanheda. ‘’You know when I could have used saving..’’ the room was filled with silence until Wanheda continued ‘’when you abondoned me at Mount Weather’’.

‘’Apparently you didn’t need my help’’ the Commander said standing frozen in her place.  
‘’Clearly’’ Wanheda scoffed while turning around.  
‘’You’re angry. But I know you, what you’ve done haunts you and it’s easier to hate me than to hate yourself.’’  
‘’Oh, I can do both’’ Wanheda scoffed again.  
‘’What would you’ve done if your leader offered you the deal?’’ the Commander asked. ‘’Save your people at the price of mine..would you really have chosen differently’’.  
‘’I don’t betray my friends’’ Wanheda said angry.  
‘’But you did’’ The Commander stated. ‘’You had friends in Mount Weather.’’  
‘’Those deaths are on you too’’ Wanheda scoffed. ‘’The only difference is, you have no honor and I had no choice.

The Commander looked hurt for a second but masked that after a few second and she stepped towards Wanheda ‘’it helps no one to dwell on the past. And that’s not why I’m here. You’re right I’m not just letting you go back to your people. I want something more. I want your people to become my people’’ the Commander said.  
Wanheda looked angry at this.

‘’I’m offering Skaikru the chance to join my coalition. Become the 13th clan. No one would dare to move against you, because that would be moving against me.’’  
‘’Leave me alone’’ Wanheda said. ‘’I’m done. Do you understand that? I left.’’  
‘’You can’t run away from who you are’’ The Commander stated.  
‘’Join me. Bow before me and your people will be safe’’ she said.  
‘’Bow before you?’’ Wanheda scoffed. ‘’You don’t give a damn about my people. I know why you’re here. I made you look weak at Mount Weather, and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well if you want the power of Wanheda, kill me. Take it. Otherwise go float yourself because I will never bow to you’’ she said angry. The Commander looked worried but left Wanheda her chambers.

After that the Commander went to a meeting where on of the Ice Nation subjects doubted her leadership. He tried to convince the other 11 ambassadors from the other Clans that the Commander should bow to the Ice Nation Queen Nia. The Commander invitited the man to her balcony and kicked him off the building. ‘’Would anyone else care to question my decisions’’ she said.

In the meantime Wanheda met with the Ice Nation Prince who was held captive in the Grounder capital Polis. He wanted to conspire with Wanheda to get the Commander killed, so he tried to convince Wanheda to kill the Commander. He said that there would be a knife under the Bed of Wanheda and that he bribbed on of the guards to lead her out of Polis. 

The Commander was training the Nightbloods later that day in the city while Titus, the flamekeeper was watching. He called the Commander to him and wanted to discuss an important matter with her. He talked about his doubts and said that everything elevated around Wanheda. The Commander admitted that she thought that Wanheda was special. 

After this Alexandria went to Wanheda her chambers because she asked for her. ‘’You called for me’’ Alexandria said. Wanheda didn’t answer but grabbed her knife and held it to the Commander her throat. Wanheda was crying and Alexandria looked hurt. ‘’Im sorry’’ the Commander said with sadness in her voice. She meant every word she said. After her betrayal at the mountain she always hoped that Wanheda would make it out alive. Everyday, she felt the regrets of leaving Wanheda behind but she had no other choice. The Commander made this decision with her head and not her heart. She even told Wanheda this before her betrayal ‘’Love is weakness’’.  
Wanheda saw the pain in the eyes of the Commander and dropped the knife on the ground. Wanheda took a step back and started crying. ‘’I never meant to turn you into this’’ the Commander said. The Commander apologized to Wanheda and said that Wanheda was free to go. ‘’You’re free to go. Your mother is here, I’ll have you escorted to her.’’   
The Commander turned around, and was about to leave the room when Wanheda stopped her ‘’wait I have a better idea’’.

Lexa got interrupted by her foster mother who suddenly walked into her room ‘’Honey, you’ve got a visitor’’ she said.  
‘’Oh hi mum, sure let them in’’ she nodded while still staring at her book. Clarke was standing in the room a few seconds later. That was a total surprise she didn’t expect.   
‘’If you guys need anything just let me know’’ Lexa her mum said before leaving the room.  
Clarke walked into the room and said down next to Lexa on the bed ‘’Hey, sorry for barging in like this. I know this is unexpected but I wanted to show you something’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’No worries, Clarke’’ Lexa said with a smile. 

Clarke held a photo of Lexa in a warrior outfit in front of her. Lexa was only 5 years old in the picture but looked stoic with her wooden sword in the picture. They both laughed at the side of this picture.  
‘’Where did you find this Clarke’’ Lexa laughed.  
‘’I found it in my box with stuff of us. Apparently my mum got everything out of the trash and saved everything. I wanted to show it to you in light of our project’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Thank you’’ Lexa said.   
‘’No problem. Anyway. I have to go. It’s my one year anniversary with Finn and he’s already pissed of at me for going to you’’ Clarke said a bit annoyed. ‘’I’ll see you tomorrow’’ she winked.  
‘’See ya’’ Lexa laughed while Clarke left her room.

Lexa grabbed the picture of her as a young child dressed in a warrior costume. Somehow this photo seemed familiar to her and so she remembered from where. It was the first book of the Grounders. She grabbed the book from her desk and opened it around the first pages, where there was a drawing of Commander Alexandria as a five year old girl. ‘’OH MY GOD’’ Lexa said. She saw the resemblance, that couldn’t be a coincidence anymore. Besides this she looked like the front cover of the second book, and than there was that dream. And the sentence she knew even before she had read the book. And then the dreams she had about that King. The name Roan, was in the Chapter she just read ‘’What if this is me’’ She thought’’.


	4. Ai Laik Heda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke share a moment. Lexa has weird dreams again and realises what's up with the books.

Lexa went to school the next day and pretended that everything was okay even though she doubted everything. Somehow she was afraid, she was the Commander in the books. The dreams seemed so real. But for now, Lexa had to focus on other stuff like working together with Clarke. The day passed pretty quickly and she had to meet Clarke in the library around 4 in the afternoon. When Lexa walked into the building she saw Clarke screaming at Finn. Lexa rushed towards Clarke and helped her right away. She pushed Finn aside and motioned him to leave the library. After that she turned to Clarke who was crying.  
‘’Hey, Clarke. Are you okay?’’ Lexa asked calmly but worried.  
Clarke shook her head. She was to emotional to talk to Lexa. Lexa saw this and pulled her in for a hug ‘’Come with me. It’s okay. I’ve got you’’ she said trying to calm Clarke down.

Lexa went with Clarke to the classroom of Kane. Lexa knew that Kane would give the two of them some space. Lexa opened the door of the classroom and lead Clarke to a nearby chair. Clarke sat down, while still crying. Lexa kneeled down and lifted Clarke her head up so they looked each other in the eyes ‘’Clarke, you’re safe now. I’ts okay’’ Lexa said reassuring.   
Kane walked in and interrupted the two of them ‘’What’s the meaning of this?’’ he asked a bit surprised.  
‘’I’m so sorry. Something happened between Clarke and Finn and I thought she could use some rest. So I brought her. I thought she would feel comfortable here. Everybody was staring at us in the library. I hope I didn’t crose the line’’ Lexa said apologizing.  
Kane nodded ‘’I understand. No worries. I’ll leave you two alone for a moment. If you guys need anything I’ll be in my office’’.  
Kane left the classroom and left the two alone.

Clarke had calmed down in the meantime and she was still looking at Lexa. Lexa turned around again, facing her. ‘’What happened with you and Finn?’’ She asked.  
Clarke pulled herself together and started talking ‘’Well, I found out he cheated on me with another girl’’.  
‘’HE WHAT?!’’ Lexa couldn’t believe someone could ever cheat on Clarke.  
Clarke started to cry again. Lexa pulled Clarke in for another hug and comforted her ‘’Listen to me Clarke. That fuckboy doesn’t deserve you. You deserve so much better than someone like him’’.  
Lexas words meant a lot to Clarke and she was brought back to their times. Lexa had always been this comforting for her. She now remembered that again. If something was wrong with her, she always went to Lexa. Clarke interrupted the hug and looked into Lexa her green eyes. Something in those eyes felt so safe. Like she was home again. Suddenly Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa. 

This surprised Lexa a lot and she pulled away as fast as she realised what happened. She looked more confused than ever. ‘’Clarke this is wrong..’’ she said. Lexa stood up and left the classroom leaving Clarke behind.

‘’I’M SUCH AN IDIOT’’ Clarke said to herself. Well atleast she thought she was along but Kane walked in just before Lexa left. Clarke felt so stupid. She knew she shouldn’t have kissed Lexa but something about Lexa felt so safe. Of course, she knew that a lot has happened between the two of them. And above that there was Finn. She didn’t officially broke up him, but Clarke knew that Finn was wrong to have cheated on her.   
‘’Clarke, I saw Woods rushing out of the classroom just a minute ago. What happened?’’ Kane asked.  
Clarke felt emberassed so she didn’t say a word ‘’Nothing’’.

Lexa got home 30 minutes later. She didn’t know how to feel about anything so she decided to go to bed to get some sleep. Somehow she thought that this could help her a bit. Lexa rushed to her bedroom and fell asleep pretty quickly. This is when she started to have a dream again.  
Lexa opened her eyes and looked around. This time she was in a tent. It was pretty big with a wooden throne in the back. Lexa looked at the entrace at the tent and she saw two persons standing nearby the entrance. It looked like Wanheda and The Commander from the Grounder books. Somehow they didn’t see her. The silence in the tent got interrupted by Wanheda ‘’You sent for me?’’ she asked.  
‘’Yes’’ The Commander nodded. ‘’Octavia has nothing to fear from me. I do trust you’’ she said softly.  
Wanheda walked closer to the Commander and said ‘’I know how hard that is for you’’.  
The Commander turned around ‘’You think our ways are harsh, but that’s how we survive’’ she said.  
‘’Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that’’ Clarke said hesitant.   
‘’Maybe we do’’ The Commander said while leaning in for a kiss. Wanheda kissed her back and they go into it. Until Wanheda stopped it and said ‘’I’m sorry I’m not ready. To be with anyone. Not yet’’.  
The Commander thought to herself ‘’Maybe someday’’.

Lexa couldn’t believe it. She stood there, watching the two of them until they walked out of the tent. ‘’What does this mean’’ she thought to herself. Lexa started to look around in the tent for some clues. Lexa walked towards the throne and looked for the braid of the Commander her second. After a few minutes she found it rapped in a rag in the corner of some kind of desk. ‘’Yu gonplei ste odon’’ was written on it. Somehow Lexa figured out what it meant. ‘’Your fight is over’’. She remembered this from the first book, it was the braid of Anya, the Commanders old mentor. 

A few moments later Lexa was somewhere different. Lexa had no clue where she was, until she saw 3 persons in a room. It looked like, Titus the Flamekeeper, Wanheda and the Commander. Somehow they didn’t see her again. So she sat down and the floor watching the scene as it happened.   
Wanheda and the Flamekeeper were argueing about something and he pointed a gun at her and tried to shot her while the Commander walked in. Titus shot the Commander right in the stomach. The Commander dropped to the floor and Wanheda rushed to get her. She held her tight in her arms and tried to convince the Commander that she would make it. But somehow the Commander already knew that her fight was over. Wanheda tried to save the Commander but was too late ‘’My fight is over’’ The Commander said.  
‘’No I won’t accept that’’ Wanheda said crying.  
‘’You were right. Life is about more than surviving’’ that were the lost words of the Commander before she died in the arms of Wanheda.  
‘’In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again’’ she said while leaning in for one last kiss.  
Lexa watched the heartwrenching scene and couldn’t do anything about it. Little by little she came to understand that these situations had something to do with her. She couldn’t exactly remember them but they seemed familiar to her.

A few moments later was in another room again. This time she didn’t saw anyone but the Commander facing her. She knew the Commander saw her. Afraid of this Lexa tried to leave the dark room somehow but she couldn’t. She had no clue what was going on at this moment.   
‘’You’ve found me’’ the Commander said speaking to her.  
Lexa looked confused and stared at the Commander ‘’I don’t understand’’.  
‘’You will soon..don’t fight it. Deep down you know what’s going on..’’ she said.  
‘’Maybe I do..but I don’t..Am I you?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
‘’Sort of..this life..these moments are my memories I’ve spent with Wanheda. But you already know her in your life don’t you?’’ the Commander asked.  
‘’No. Wait what..?’’Lexa asked confused.  
‘’Don’t try too much. You know her..but she doesn’t remember. Maybe you do not too at this moment but you will again. You’re here with a reason’’ The Commander said.  
‘’I don’t understand’’Lexa said while taking a few steps back.  
‘’Easy there. It’s okay let me explain’’ The Commander motioned to Lexa. Lexa ran away as fast as she could and dissapeared into the shadows.

Lexa woke up in shock a few moments later. A lot was going on but she didn’t understand any of it. She was able to speak with the Commander in her dreams, who claimes to be her. She had no clue what was going on anymore and was afraid of everything.


	5. Heda is back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa feels guilty and wants to make things right with Clarke. On her way to Clarke, Lexa gets hit by a car and she is rushed to the hospital where she remains in a coma.  
> In her unconscious mind, Lexa is brought to the Commander who explains to her what Lexa needs to do to save everyone. Even if this means leaving all the people she loves behind for a while and return to her past, where she was in Command of the Grounders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter. I understand if things are unclear, but they will be explained in the next chapters of the story. I really liked the whole idea of Lexa returning to her past where she starts to remember everything, and be the hero, she deserved to be in the series. She deserved so much better, and I hope to give her that like this. Enjoy :) p.s I'm sorry for typos. I'm gonna fix that later. Cheers!

Lexa went to school the next day and tried to avoid Clarke as much as possible. She felt awkward ever since their kiss. She had too much on her mind right now to even think about them. Lexa always wanted Clarke back, but not like this. Not when she still had a boyfriend, even though he cheated on her. She wasn’t like that and she surely didn’t want to become a person who just stole someones girlfriend. Lexa was so confused lately. Her dreams last night about the commander made her doubt about everything. The only thing she knew is that she had to survive the day. 

Lexa knew it was her first period, so that meant she had to talk to Clarke and work on their project about the books. She really wanted to run away as fast as she could but kept herself together. Lexa knew must have had a rough day yesterday with Finn cheating on her and after that Lexa running away from her. 

Lexa arrived in time for her first period and walked into the classroom. Lexa noticed that Clarke was a no show. She knew that Clarke must have felt embaressed and that that’s the reason she skipped Kane his class. Lexa didn’t want it to be this way again so she decided to go to Clarke after school to check on her. Lexa slipped into some sort of daydreaming.

Before she knew it she was standing across the Commander again. This time in a large room. It looked like a throneroom again. She recognised the throne that was centered in the back of the room. In the middle there was some kind of carpet that led to the throne. The throne was made out of wood. The Commander obviously didn’t see her. It was probably on off those visions again where they didn’t see Lexa but she saw everything. The Commander was in the room with Wanheda and other grounders including one grounder Lexa recognised, it was Titus the Flamekeeper, the same person who shot the Commander.  
The Commander sat on the throne and was talking to the Grounders who seemed to be ambassadors of the Coalition. ‘’Ambassadors of the coalition. Today we honor our convenent. The Clan that stands against one us. Stands against us all’’ the Commander spoke before a silence fell in the room.  
‘’Bring in the accused’’ Titus said. Before Lexa saw two guards walking in with a prisoners. The prisoner looked angry at Wanheda and the Commander. She was brought before the throne and put down on her knees.  
‘’Queen Nia of Azgeda has confessed to the destruction of Mount Weather. Resulting to the death of 49 members of Skaikru’’ Titus said before turning to Wanheda ‘’What say you?’’ he asked.  
‘’Skaikru demands justice’’ Wanheda spoke.  
‘’Ice Nation does not answer to this girl’’ Nia said with anger in her voice.  
‘’SILENCE!’’ Titus demanded. ‘’The punishment for your crime is death. Do you have anything to say in your defense?’’ Titus asked.  
‘’I need no defense. She does. Today is judgement day. I call for a vote of no confidence.’’ Nia spoke.  
This made Titus angry and he spoke loud and clear ‘’Take this queen to meet her fate’’.  
Before the guards could take the Queen away one of the ambassadors interrupted ‘’Not so fast. Commander no longer’’ he said. The rest of the ambassadors did the same.   
This made Titus even more angry so he told the guards ‘’take them away too.’’  
‘’Wait’’ said the Commander.  
Titus turned to the Commander ‘’Please execute this traitors.’’  
‘’No’’ she held up her hand. ‘’Let her make her move’’.  
Wanheda interrupted the resistance of the ambassadors ‘’Commander, what is this?’’ she asked.  
‘’This is a cool’’ she said ice cold.  
‘’This is the law. Her law. An unanimous vote of the ambassadors or death. All that can remove a commander from power’’ said the Ice Queen while rising from her knees.  
‘’It’s not unanimous’’ Wanheda pointed out.  
This made Nia angry and she faced Wanheda ‘’We don’t recognise the legitimacy of Skaikru.’’  
‘’We do’’ said Titus while interrupting Nia.  
‘’Yesterday Skaikru took the brand. They are the 13th clan. This vote of no confidence fails. All these co-plotters will suffer the exact same fate as the Ice Queen.’’  
‘’She won’t take our heads because she knows our armies will retaillied. None of us here wants war’’ Nia said.  
‘’We both know what you want, Nia’’ The Commander said.  
Lexa was still standing in the corner watching this meeting. She saw the devistation that the Queen   
created at this moment. Everyone was rising against the Commander except for Wanheda and Titus.

The Commander stood up from her throne and walked towards the Ice Queen staring her right in the eyes. ‘’If you think me unfit to command, issue the challenge and let’s get on with it’’ The Commander said.  
‘’Very well. You are challenged’’ The Ice Queen said.  
‘’And I accept your challenge’’ the Commander spoke.   
‘’Single combat. Warrior against warrior till the death’’ Titus spoke. Wanheda looked really worried and she didn’t want the Commander to get hurt. But she remained silence because she already knew that things couldn’t get any worse.  
‘’Queen Nia, who do you choose to be your champion?’’ Titus asked.  
‘’My son. Roan, prince of Azgeda.’’  
There was a total silence in the room and Lexa could see the worried face of Wanheda looking at the Commander.  
‘’Heda, who will fight for you?’’ Roan asked.  
Again there was total silence and Wanheda was still looking at the Commander, she was so worried about the Commander in this moment. Lexa saw this, somehow she recognised some of this. She knew exactly what was about to happen. ‘’The Commander fight for herself she thought’’.

The Commander turned around and walked back to her throne. She sat down on the throne and spoke ‘’Ai Laik Heda. No one fights for me’’ she said in anger. Everyone in the room that cared about the Commander looked worried. But somehow Lexa who was still standing in the corner watching everything, knew that the Commander was going to be okay. She felt like she was re-living this moment. Lexa felt so close to it. Even the ambassadors, who she had never seen before seemed familiar. Lexa was about to walk to the Commander until she woke up again.

‘’Miss Woods, are you okay?’’ a voice asked.  
Lexa heard someone talking to her and she opened her eyes slowly before she spoke ‘’I guess so..’’she said.  
‘’You passed out right in class’’ some girl said who was holding her.  
Lexa now opened her eyes further and looked around. She saw the classroom of Kane and a girl with brown hair hanging above her with a boy next to her. She sat right up, but she did it careful because her head felt heavy. Again this visions were too much to process for her. It made her so confused that she didn’t know what to think of it anymore. Sometimes, it felt real and the Commander even saw her once and spoke to her and the other it was just like she was watching some kind of scene from a movie.  
‘’Are you okay?’’ the girl asked interrupting Lexas thoughts.  
Lexa just nodded. ‘’I’m okay.’’  
‘’Let me introduce myself. I’m Octavia Blake. I’m new at school. And this is my longtime boyfriend Lincoln’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’Octavia, Lincoln? Those names seem to familiar she thought to herself. Somehow she knew an Octavia and Lincoln. But she didn’t know where from.’’  
‘’Nice to meet you both’’ Lexa said. After that she tried to stand up but that didn’t go so well, so Lincoln and Octavia helped her up and guided Lexa to the nearest chair.  
‘’Are you sure you’re okay’’ Octavia asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yeah. Just had a rough night yesterday. I’m gonna go home. I don’t feel so well’’ Lexa said.  
Slowly she stood up and walked out of the classroom dissapearing in the hallway.

Lexa wasn’t heading home. She was heading to Clarke to talk to her. Clarkes home was near a busy road. Lexa wasn’t really paying attention when she crossed the street and before she knew it a car hit her hard. She got thrown in the air and fell on to the ground a little further. The car stopped right away and ran towards Lexa, who was lying still on the ground. No movements, nothing.

Everything was black and Lexa didn’t know where she was. She didn’t remember anything. She was in a dark space, no clue to where she was. Until she heard a voice, somehow it seemed familiar to her. She turned around when she looked right at the Commander, who was standing right before her. ‘’It is time’’ the Commander spoke. Lexa looked really confused by the Commander and had no idea where she was talking about. ‘’Time for what?’’ Lexa asked. ‘’Just trust me, come with me’’ the Commander motioned for her to follow. ‘’I’m gonna show you everything. Then you will understand this. You must be ready. The world needs you more than ever’’ the Commander said.

She guided Lexa towards a room. Lexa looked at the room and she recognised it from other visions she said.   
‘’This is my chamber’’ The Commander spoke. ‘’It wasn’t always like this. It used to be a room filled with happy memories. This is where I used to spent time with the woman I loved..’’  
‘’What do you mean?’’ Lexa asked polite, somehow knowing this was a sensitive subject.  
‘’I know you don’t remember. This is so complicated but I’ll tell you a story about what happened right here. With the woman I loved.’’

The Commander sat down on a couch and began tos peak ‘’I made the choice to be a leader and be with someone. Or atleast, that was what I was trying. You probably saw Wanheda in your visions. She was the love of my life, my soulmate. Because of an indicent that had happened with Skaikru, I had to make a choice to put up a kill order for the Skaikru. This meant that she had to leave Polis, and leave my side. Right in this room, she came to say goodbye. I asked when she had to leave, and she answered that she had to leave right away. When we said goodbye, she leaned in and kissed me. This was the first moment that Wanheda and I had been together and shared a bed. It was the best moment for me in a long time. Every moment spent with her was amazing. I remember this one time, I was with her sitting on this couch. I had fallen asleep and she was drawing me. I woke up scared from a dream about death, she told me that I was safe. She made me feel important, she showed me that I could be more than just a leader. Somehow, she gave me the strength to be the best leader I could be. Well..until I died’’ the Commander said.  
‘’That must’ve been nice, to share that much love with someone. I had that once, but I lost her.’’  
‘’No you didn’t’’ The Commander said. ‘’What I’m about to tell you seems crazy but I want you to listen to me.’’  
Lexa nodded. Nothing seemd weird to her anymore.

Clarke just got a call. She was shocked to hear that Lexa had been hit by a car. And as soon as she heard it, she rushed towards the hospital. Clarke really needed to know if Lexa was going to be okay. When she arrived at the hospital she rushed to Lexa her room. She saw Lexa her fosterparents standing in the doorway and walked towards them ‘’Hello. How is she?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
‘’They don’t know yet. She has been hit pretty hard by that stupid driver. She was thrown through the air. She is in a come at the moment and they have no idea if she will wake up again’’ her mother said crying.   
Clarke shook her head and started crying. This can’t be happening she thought to herself. She couldn’t lose Lexa. ‘’Can I go in?’’ Clarke asked. Lexa’s parents nodded and stepped aside.  
Clarke walked towards the side of the bed and said down on the chair next to Lexa.   
Lexa looked as beautiful as always even though she was wounded and had bandage around her head. Clarke caressed Lexa’s cheek and took her hand into hers and just sat there waiting for a miracle to happen. 

A few hours later Clarkes mother walked in and looked worried at the sight of her daughter holding hands with her patient. ‘’Clarke, darling’’ she said while waking her daughter up. Clarke opened her eyes and looked at her mother. ‘’Mom?’’ she asked. Abby nodded and pulled her daughter in for a hug. ‘’Mom..’’Clarke said crying. ‘’Please save her..’’.  
Abby saw how Clarke was effected by this and nodded ‘’I’ll make sure she will be okay. I have to go now, but I’ll be back to check on her’’ Abby said. She kissed Clarke on her forhead and left the room leaving Clarke alone with Lexa.

Lexa sat across the Commander on another couch. The Commander looked at her and spoke again ‘’We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love and then return home’’.  
‘’You are here, Lexa. Because this is home. The visions you had are mine, my past. It happened in unconscious mind. It came up in dreams. But it’s reality. You have a bigger purpose in all of this then you realise.’’  
Lexa looked confused at the Commander ‘’I still don’t understand’’ she said.  
‘’I know. You will. I want to show you something. It is right that whenever you saw Wanheda, you never saw a face?’’ The Commander asked.  
Lexa nodded. ‘’I saw it vaguely but couldn’t place it. She seemed so familiar to me.’’  
‘’You know her. Wanheda is Clarke. Clarke kom Skaikru’’ The Commander said.  
‘’What? CLARKE?’’ Lexas mouth fell wide open. ‘’Oh my god’’ she said out loud. ‘’If Clarke is Wanheda..than I’m Heda..that means that you are me..or I am you.. I don’t understand. What are you?’’  
‘’I am you. From the past. The visions you saw are what happened to you in another life..where you lived as Alexandria kom Trikru. You are me, just with a new life and new memories..but you found Clarke again.’’  
‘’How can I even come here?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Your conscious brought you here. You’ve been the Commander, so that means a part of your spirit is still stuck in the City of Light. Clarke, I mean Wanheda, didn’t destroy every part of it. That’s why you are needed in the past..you need to destroy all of it’’ Alexandria said.  
‘’All of it?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes..Wanheda..something happened to her in the City of Light when she tried to get me back. No one knows what happened to her. But she never returned and so the Grounders and the Skaikru got into another war and everything was destroyed.’’  
‘’Yet, you’re still here talking to me’’ Lexa noted.  
‘’Yes..like I said. You’ve been me, the Commander. My spirit is connected to you. That’s because of the Flame, all the Commanders before us had it.’’  
‘’Okay, I am beginning to understand it a little bit. What do I need to do?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’You need to go back in time, where you destroy all of the City of Light together with Clarke. Only that way everything will turn back to normal and you will be able to return to your life, without knowing what happened to you.’’  
‘’Okay. Is that why I crossed paths with those books and Clarke? Because of the Flame or because I’m connected with her?’’  
‘’There’s only one way to answer that Lexa. You’ve gotta go back to where you were in Command and only then you will understand it. Follow me.’’  
Lexa followed Alexandria towards a room where she kept a box. Alexandria opened the box and showed some device that was stored in it. ‘’This is the Flame’’ she said. Kneel down, if you take this. You’ll remember everything from the past. ‘’I’ll be gone but you’ll know what to do and how to return to your own life. Save her, Lexa’’ she said. Before putting the flame in her neck what knocked her out.


	6. Rewriting the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has returned as Commander and she is faced with her past mistakes. Lexa has to fight a sniper in order to save TonDC before she realises she can't undone what has been done. Not before Wanheda will be safe after destroying the City of Light. Lexas guidance from the Commander Spirit from her past life gives her advise and she faces her past. Clarke grows closer with Octavia in the meantime in their other life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter might be a bit confusing but I used some fragments from the tv-show and changed them :). Lexa is trying to change her past mistake but soon realises the can't do this because she has to look at the bigger picture and save Clarke from the City of Light. So she has to relife her old life and face all the mistakes. It will be hard for her but in the end it will be worth it. I hope you guys like where I am headed with this :). Sorry for typos! Gonna fix that later. Cheers!

Lexa suddenly stood in a room across Clarke. Clarke looked worried at her. She didn’t recognise this Clarke, as the Clarke from her world. Lexa knew that this Clarke, was Wanheda and was the same person, but she just didn’t remember. Somehow this seemed familiar to Lexa and she knew she had been there before.  
‘’A missile, your sure?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes. We have to start evacuating’’ Clarke said worried.  
Lexa studied Clarkes face but shook her head ‘’No.’’  
‘’What do you mean no, Lexa?’’  
If we evacuate they know we have a spy inside their wall.’’  
‘’Not necessarily’’ Clarke said.  
‘’We can’t risk it.’’ 

Lexa knew what this was about. She had been their before. Lexa had made the choice to let TonDC burn, so Bellamy Blake would be safe from harms way. Suddenly she remembered where she knew the name Octavia and Lincoln from. They were two Grounders living in this world, well atleast she thought they lived. Honestly Lexa didnt remember everything, and it was hard for her to seperate both realities, because the world where she lived, with Clarke was so much more easy. In this moment where she was now, she hadn’t even kissed Clarke for the first time. Lexa doubted everything and she had no idea, what she was going to do about what the Commander, her spirit from the past, had told her.

‘’What’s the point of having an inside man, if we can’t act on what he tells us’’ Clarke said angry. Lexa saw the anger in Clarkes eyes and wanted to see so much but she kept it in. This Clarke didn’t remember anything so she knew she had to be careful.  
‘’Is the acid fog disabled? Is our sleeping army uncaged?’’  
Clarke shook her head. ‘’Then Bellamy his job is not done. Without him we can’t win this war, Clarke’’ Lexa said.  
‘’So what are you saying?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa knew what had happened in the past. Somehow she remembered that there had been a sniper who was in control of the location for the missile. So she had a plan, something that could’ve saved all those people in TonDC.  
‘’I’m saying, that I’m going in alone. No one needs to get hurt. To launch a missile, they need to know the exact coordinates where we are. For that they need a man near us. I know where he is. I am going to take him down before he hits TonDC’’ Lexa said.  
She walked passed Clarke, grabbed her sword and some disguise before she said ‘’May we meet again, Clarke. Be safe’’. After that Lexa left Clarke behind and went to higher grounds. 

Lexa sneaked passed the guards because of her disguise, she was wearing a cape over her head, her sword strapped down her side. Heading towards the sniper. From the past she somehow remember where she had to go. Lexa remembered the last time with the sniper. The sniper held a knife to Lincolns throat and he said that Clarke her people needed her so she had to shoot both of them down. Clarke shot Lincoln through the shoulder instead and saved him this way. The sniper died right away, but TonDC was already destroyed. Hundreds of innocent people had died, and Lexa didn’t want that to happend anymore, so she was determined to kill him on her own. 

Lexa reached the higher grounds within 15 minutes and heard the sniper nearby. She hid behind a rock to determine where he exactly was. She saw the sniper laying in the bushes. Lexa crawled around the rock through the woods behind the sniper, she had him in sight and charged with full power towards him. The sniper didn’t see her coming, so it was a total surprise, before he realised it, Lexa swords had cut through him, he didn’t die instantly, but he couldn’t move from Lexas grip. Lexas skills had remained the same after all those time, this surprised her a bit because in her old life with Clarke, she was not skilled at all.   
Lexa turned around and faced the Mountain Men ‘’Yu gonplei ste odon’’ she said, and she killed him off. Somehow she didn’t want him to suffer too much. ‘’Safe passage on your travels’’ she said before heading down to TonDC. On the way down Lexa realised what her purpose was to re-life all of this, she knew she had to make other choices so Clarke would destroy the whole City of Light. This way she’d remember everything in her other life. She missed her old life a lot. But she didn’t know if she could return to it because of the car accident. Lexa thought she might have died. 

In the meantime Clarke had been visiting Lexa everyday in the hospital for over a week now. Lexa remained the same and was still in a coma. Clarke didn’t give up hope and she really missed Lexa a lot. She realised that she was still in love with Lexa and she still wanted to be with her. So she broke up with Finn. The only thing holding them was Lexa still being in coma. 

Clarke was in the hospital sitting next to Lexa, telling her about her day when someone walked in.  
‘’Oh, sorry for interrupting’’ the girl said.  
Clarke turned around and smiled ‘’No worries, come right in.’’  
‘’Okay, thank you’’ Octavia said and she walked into the room. ‘’You’re also in Polaris High right?’’ she asked politely.   
Clarke nodded ‘’Yes. I’m Clarke Griffin’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’Nice to meet you Clarke. I’m Octavia Blake. We have history together. That is where I met Lexa. I heard about her accident so I wanted to pay a visite and check on her. How is she doing?’’ Octavia asked.  
‘’She’s been in a coma for over a week now, and there hasn’t really been a change. They don’t know if she is going to wake up. Her body is intact, but she suffered some sever brain damage’’ Clarke said holding back her tears.

‘’You care for her’’ Octavia noted.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yes. She is special.’’  
‘’Is she your girlfriend?’’ Octavia asked.  
This hurt Clarke. Clarke wanted to say yes, but she knew that wasn’t the truth. She had feelings for Lexa but she might never become her girlfriend again. She hoped it but didn’t know. ‘’No..Lexa is my ex-girlfriend.’’  
‘’Oh my god. I’m sorry for being so rude’’ Octavia said while sitting down on a nearby chair.  
‘’No worries, it’s not your fault. A lot of people ask that. And to be honest, I had lost her a long time ago, but before the accident I grew closer with her again and all my feelings came back. I missed her so much, that I didn’t realise before what she really ment for me. I dated this guy for over a year after Lexa, his name was Finn. He cheated on me because he thought I had spent to much time with Lexa, while we had to work on a project.’’  
‘’Wow, that’s rough. Well if you ever need anyone to talk too I’m here for you. Even though we’ve only just met. I kinda know how you feel’’ Octavia said caring.  
‘’Thank you. I just hope she’s going to wake up. I can’t lose her again. She means to much for me.’’  
‘’I’m sure she will return to you Clarke. She spoke highly about you’’ Octavia winked.

Lexa arrived back at TonDC and she was searching for Clarke. ‘’Indra, have you seen Clarke?’’ she asked. Indra nodded and pointed towards the underground quarters. ‘’Thank you, Indra’’ Lexa said with a smile before walking towards the entrance to the old subway quarters. Lexa walked through a dark hallway, there was only light of the candles that were lit. It reminded her of her visions of the tower in Polis. Somehow the lights made her feel like she was home. At the end of the hallway there was a door leading to a room where she spook Clarke earlier about the missile.  
She opened the door and looked around the room until she saw Clarke sleeping on a couch. Clarke looked so peaceful. But Lexa wanted to share the good news about the missile anyway so she walked towards the couch and tapped Clarke on the shoulder. Clarke woke up and turned around to face Lexa ‘’You’re back’’ she said softly.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes’’.  
Clarke sat up and looked worried at Lexa ‘’You’re bleeding’’ Clarke said while pointing at Lexa her arm.  
‘’It’s just a small cut. The got news it that I killed the sniper’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’You did it?’’ Clarke sounded so happy. Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. Our people are safe’’ she said.  
Clarke stood up and walked towards Lexa ‘’Thank you so much’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’It was my pleasure’’ Lexa said. And she meant every word of it, because she remembered all of those people burning, running away from the village, while being on fire. They died right in front of their eyes. At least, this was one victory for now but Lexa knew she still had a lot to achieve before she could return to her old life. She had to safe Clarke here even if that meant that she had to die herself again to achieve it. 

Clarke insisted on cleaning Lexas cut, so Lexa let her. Lexa thanked her, and Clarke left the quarters after that heading back for Camp Jaha. Lexa was going to bed, she knew that she still had a lot to do and she could use her rest. As soon as she fell on the bed she fell asleep right away.

Lexa turned around and saw the Commander facing her again. She knew she was dreaming, because this was the only way she could talk to the Commander. ‘’Lexa, did you start to remember?’’ The Commander asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. I remember small parts now. I remember people burning. The missile. Clarke being angry at me for trying to kill Octavia. For betraying her at Mount Weather. And I remember my death..’’ she said.  
‘’I figured that’’ The Commander said. ‘’You’ve done well today by saving the people of TonDC. But our goal is not saving those who are already lost. You have to focus on Clarke. Save her, and the rest will be saved too. You have a long road before you and it’s going to be hard, because you will want to change things, but don’t. They need to happen the exact same way. Don’t give up even though it will get rough.’’   
‘’Okay, I will’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Mochof, Heda Lexa kom Trikru. You will bring peace to your people. That was always your legacy’’ The Commander said.  
Lexa nodded before the Commander spirit dissapeared and she was alone in the room. 

Lexa woke up a few minutes after this. And she knew she had a long road ahead of her. But she had to save Clarke no matter what. She knew this had a bigger purpose. If she saved Clarke, both the Commander from the past, and she in her new life would life on in happines. Lexa knew that it would only be a matter of time, before she got to kiss Clarke for the first time all over again.


	7. We deserve better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa spents a lot of time with Clarke and she does decide to change the past to give Clarke less pain. Clarke finds out that Lexa had sent someone to kill Octavia and confronts Lexa with this. They kiss. In the meantime in their old life, Clarke finds out who hit Lexa with her car that put her in coma.

A few days had passed and Lexa had spent a lot of time with Lexa. They were preparing for the war again Mount Weather. Bellamy needed to disable the acid fog inside Mount Weather. Clarke and Lexa were planning tactics for the attack.  
It was already night and Clarke was still in Lexas tent. Lexa was lying on her bed when Clarke was still worried about everything and if it it would work. Lexa already knew what was ahead of her. She knew she had to betray Clarke again at the Mountain and let her make all those hard choices all over again. Lexa didn’t want this, but she knew she had no choice then to go through this again.  
She remembered this night well, Clarke was worried about the tactics and Lexa told her to take it easy.

‘’What if we’re wrong. Cutting the power doesn’t disengage the locks?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
Lexa was still lying down on her bed, resting ‘’Your people said it will’’. She stood up after she saw the worry on Clarke her face and stepped towards her ‘’You should rest Clarke’’ she said.  
‘’We could blow up the doors manually’’ Clarke said, ignoring Lexa.  
‘’Plans don’t last very long in battle’’ Lexa said while standing next to Clarke.  
‘’You’re right. But a lot of people have died already. It has to work’’ she said. Clarke felt obligated to make all of this work. Everything she was failing she remembered her mother saying ‘’Remember we’re the good guys’’. Clarke started to doubt that more everyday, because after everything they had done, did they even deserve to survive?  
‘’You’re doing what I did when I first took command. You cant move forward and its giving you too much time to think. Once Bellamy disables the acid fog everything will be clear and we will be able to start attack.

‘’What if he can’t? What if it was to dangerous and I sent him in there anyway?’’ Clarke asked worried. She was worried that her mistakes would become fatal for others. Clarke was so worried about caring for others that she forgot herself sometimes.  
‘’You care about him?’’ Lexa asked. She remembered this well. Somehow Bellamy made her mad sometimes. She knew that Clarke wasn’t in love with him in the past. But she didn’t really know how Clarke was in this reality. Lexa knew she had to be the same as then so she asked thay anyway.  
‘’I care about all of them’’ Clarke said.  
‘’But you worry about him more?’’ Lexa asked suspicious.  
‘’I couldn’t have kept us alive all this time if it wasn’t for him. We need him. And now I might be the one who get’s him killed’’ Clarke said worried.

Lexa turned around and faced Clarke. In this moment she wanted to tell her everything but kept it to herself. ‘’Listen, Clarke. He will be fine. I’m sure. Your people will be okay. They already have a great leader’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Clarkes faced showed the relief of Lexas word. ‘’Thank you. I hope so. It’s just I want us all to get out alive. Sometimes it’s hard you know’’ Clarke said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’I know’’. 

Lexa remembered this old conversation well she told Clarke that the warriors had to die in order to achieve the greater goal. But this time Lexa didn’t. She cared about her people and didn’t want to be the old ice cold leader she once had been. She wanted Clarke to see that she cared too. ‘’You know, people die in war, but they will be remembered if the legacy of those deaths is peace. We will never forget, those who have fallen in battle. We honor them by being at peace. By living the lives we all deserve’’ Lexa said.

‘’Wow’’ Clarke said. ‘’I didn’t know you actually cared’’ she said teasingly. ‘’Well said, Commander.’’  
‘’I’m going to sleep, Clarke. You need your rest as well. You can rest in my tent if you want. But just take it easy, you need that’’ Lexa said reassuring.   
‘’Thanks, but I won’t bother you with my nightmares. I’ll find a place outside. Goodnight Heda’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Goodnight’’ Lexa nodded.

Lexa fell asleep pretty soon after that. She knew she didn’t exactly follow the advise of the Commander spirit. But she didn’t care. Lexa her thoughts were in her other life. She missed that Clarke. The Clarke from her life, was so light hearted and not scarred like this Clarke. She knew they were the same. But maybe she didn’t even want Clarke to remember because that would spare her a lot of hurt. She didn’t have to bare all the memories of the things she had to here in order to survive. Then she would never have had the name Wanheda and she would’ve been so much more happy. But Lexa knew she had to make Clarke remember in order to save the Grounders and the Skaikru. All Lexa wanted is to return to her old life. She wanted to say so much to Clarke. Like how much she had missed her everyday and that she wanted to be with her. How much she loved her and how beautiful Clarke was. But she couldn’t, she knew that. The last thing she remembered from that life was her being hit by a car. After that nothing. 

Clarke turned around and walked towards her locker. It had been two weeks since Lexa her accident and their had been no changes. She was still in coma. Clarke missed Lexa everyday and wanted her to wake up. Octavia had been really helpfull to get her mind of things. Her, Lincoln and Clarke had been hanging out a lot. They went to the Gustus Bar a lot. Clarke knew this bar from the past. It was from Lexas uncle Gustus. He had always been there for Lexa and she loved him very much. Gustus died one year ago and the bar was taken over by one of his sons. Clarke knew this. Somehow this bar brought back a lot of memories of her and Lexa. Atleast this kept Lexa close to her. Clarke remembered one night well.

It had been a warm summer night and Lexa had wanted to introduce Clarke to her uncle for weeks now. So she finally did. They had been in the bar for the whole night and had been talking nonstop until one song came on the radio. Clarke turned to Lexa and asked her to dance ‘’May I have this dance’’ She said with a smile. Lexa nodded and walked to the dancefloor. They danced the rest of the night, holding each other close.   
That had been one of the best nights Clarke had spent with Lexa. Know she was there often with Lincoln and Octavia.

Clarkes thoughts got interrupted when someone tapped on her shoulder. Clarke turned around and was looking at no one other than Finn. ‘’What the fuck are you doing here’’ She asked angry.  
He gestured her to calm down ‘’Nothing. I don’t want to fight with you. I’m just here to say how sorry I am about what happened to Lexa’’ Finn said.   
‘’What the fuck are you talking about?!’’ Clarke yelled at him. ‘’You’re sorry?!’’ She spat out. She was on the edge of losing it. ‘’What are you sorry about?!’’ She asked in anger.  
Finn took a few step backs and gestured Clarke to calm down. He didn’t want to make her more mad. He didn’t know if she knew. So he had to tell her ‘’I have to tell you something..’’ he said ashamed. ‘’I know what happened to her..I was there’’.  
Clarke looked confused. ‘’What do you mean?’’ she asked.  
‘’I was the one who hit her with my car’’ he said taking a few steps back.  
Clarke couldn’t believe this. The guy she had been dating for a year had hit Lexa. ‘’GO AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN’’ She yelled in anger. ‘’I’m so sorry’’ Finn said. ‘’GO AWAY!’’ Clarke said crying.  
Finn walked away and left Clarke behind. She felt so lost. Lexa was in coma, she had been cheated on, and now she just found out the guy she dated hit her ex-girlfriend with a car. Everything was so messed up.

Meanwhile Clarke left Lexas tent and she was looking for a place to sleep for the night until she saw Octavia sitting near a campfire. She decided to join her and talk for a while. Clarke had become good friends with Octavia. Octavia was one of the first people who actually became friends with the Grounders.   
Clarke sat down next to Octavia and looked at her. Octavia seemed worried about something so she asked ‘’Everything okay?’’.  
Octavia shook her head ‘’I’ve been going over and over it in my head, just trying to figure out what happened’’.  
‘’Happened with what?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
‘’Lincoln. He left a few days ago. He said he needed to figure things out on his own. After he became a reaper, he changed a lot. He kept everything to himself’’ Octavia said.  
‘’Octavia. He will come back’’ Clarke said.

Lexa heard Octavia and Clarke talking. She remembered this conversation so well. It had been different in the past. In the past the missile had hit TonDC and Octavia had been there. Octavia told Clarke in the past that she would fight this war with her, but the would be done after that. She had figured out that Clarke and Lexa knew about it and she blamed Clarke for not saving all those people. Lexa made the decision to change the past. This was she saved Clarke and Octavia their friendship and a lot of innocent people. Even though the Commander spirit had told her not too. Lexa didn’t care, she was going to do it her own way. 

The next day passed by fast. Octavia had some problems with Lexa so Lexa tried to get one of her guards kill her until Clarke discovered this and saved Octavia by confronting Lexa with this. Lexa knew this had to happen in order for their first kiss.   
Lexa was sitting on her throne putting on her battlepaint, when Clarke walked in with a gun pointed at the head of one Lexas guards.   
‘’You sent him to kill Octavia?! I told you. She is not a problem’’ Clarke said angry.  
Lexa seemed irritated by this and told the guard to go ‘’Leave us’’.  
‘’No, I am not letting him out of my side’’ Clarke said angry while pointing the gun at the guard again.  
Lexa stood up from her throne and said ‘’Stand down. And wait for my command.’’  
The guard stood up, pushed the gun aside and walked out of the tent.  
Clarke walked angry towards Lexa ‘’What the hell is wrong with you, You can’t just kill everyone you don’t trust.’’  
Lexa shook her head while walking towards her armor to put it on ‘’Yes I can. She threatened me. Octavia is a threat. If you weren’t so close to her you would see that’’ Lexa said ice cold.  
It’s because I’m close to her that I know she is loyal. Her brother is more important to her to anyone, she would never endanger his life.

‘’And you’re willing to risk everything on that, on your feelings?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes. You say having feelings makes me weak, but you’re weak for hiding from them’’ Clarke said angry. ‘’I might be a hypocrite Lexa, but you’re a liar.’’ She stepped forward to Lexa and made her take a few steps back. ‘’You felt something for Gustus. You’re still haunted by Costia. You want everyone to think you’re above it all. But I see right through you’’ Clarke scoffed.

This made Lexa remind her of everything. Somehow the pain of losing Costia, killing Gustus came back. It made her feel guilty about everything she had done in order to lead well. This was the first time in so long she felt that some had put a knife through her heart. She hadn’t felt like this since Clarke and she broke up in her other life and she had to watch Clarke with Finn. She got sucked back to reality when Clarke had make her walk against a table. 

‘’GET OUT!’’ Lexa said angry. ‘’A lot of people died, I know you felt for them’’ Clarke said. ‘’But you let them die anyway’’ Clarke said. Clarke saw the pain in Lexas eyes. Somehow she knew she had gone to far. The day before she had noticed that the Commander had more feelings than she let out. She had build up this wall around her in order to feel safe. ‘’Not everyone, not you’’ Lexa said holding back her emotions. Clarke got confused by this and didn’t know what to say to Lexa ‘’Well if you care about me, then..trust me’’ Clarke said. A silence fell into the room ‘’Octavia is not a threat’’.   
Lexa was looking for the right words to say. But she couldn’t find them. She felt all the pain at once. She didn’t want Clarke to be angry but she had no choice. ‘’I can’t do that’’ Lexa said.  
‘’I can’t sacrifice my people anymore. If you do anything to hurt Octavia. I’ll tell everyone about last night’’ Clarke said before leaving Lexas tent.  
Lexa was left behind, trying to deal with all the pain she just got confronted with. She turned around and tried to focus on other things. She knew what was about to happen the next few days and she didn’t want to think about that. 

Lexa didn’t speak with Clarke for the rest of the day until she had sent one of her guards to find her. Lexa was in her tent waiting for Clarke when she heard someone walk in. Lexa turned around and saw Clarke standing in the entrance.

‘’You sent for me?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. Octavia has nothing to fear from me.’’  
Clarke walked towards Lexa and didn’t respond. She didn’t really trust the Commanders words.   
‘’I do trust you, Clarke’’ Lexa turned around and faced Clarke. Clarke saw the caring in Lexas eyes and took her for her word.  
‘’I know how hard that is for you’’ Clarke said.

This reminded Lexa of what was about to happen. She felt uncomfortable because she knew about the choices she had to make a few days from. She was going to have to betray Clark and she didn’t want too, because she knew how that was going to effect her.  
‘’You think our ways are harsh, but that’s how we survive’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?’’ Clarke asked looking Lexa in the eyes.

Lexa knew they did deserve better. That were her last words to Clarke when she got shot in the past.   
But she didn’t want Clarke to find out so she seemed hesistant before she said ‘’Maybe we do’’.  
Lexa leaned in to kiss Clarke before she could say another word. Clarke kissed back until she pulled back a few seconds later ‘’I..I’m not ready to be with anyone. Not yet’’ she said.  
Lexa knew why. She knew that Clarke had killed Finn a few days ago so she couldn’t blame her.  
Lexa nodded and didn’t respond back. They both looked at each other until they were interrupted by people yelling ‘’HEDA! COME QUICK!’’.  
Lexa knew that Bellamy did his job and they were reading to march for the Mountain. Where she was about to betray the woman she loved.


	8. Jus drein jus daun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa prepare for the attack on the mountain. Not everything goes according to their plan. Lexa has to make a big decision about the future. And Clarke is faced with her fears that come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to make this chapter as well as I could. I remember the betrayal episode well and it had hurt a lot to watch that happen. I changed it a little ;) Hope you like it :)  
> Sorry for typos. Gonna fix that later. Cheers!

Lexa and Clarke gathered the whole army and they headed towards Mount Weather. They agreed to meeting the rest of Skaikru there to discuss their tactics and how to attack the Mountain. But Lexa already knew what was about to happen. That was something she didn’t want to go through again so she had another plan in mind. Lexa didn’t want Clarke to get hurt again. She knew that their kiss had meant something all over again. This time she was sure about what to do.

About 8 hours later all of the army arrived at Mount Weather. Everyone arrived at the Commanders tent, to discuss tactics. Including Kane and the other Skaikru members who wanted their children back from Mount Weather. Octavia and Indra also joined the meeting.  
They got a package from Raven, a bomb, so that they could blow up the door manually.  
‘’Welcome Skaikru’’ Lexa said. ‘’Join us’’ she nodded and welcomed everyone in the tent.  
Clarke and Lexa stood next to each other. Lexa was still a bit distracted about what was about to happen today. She knew how much her betrayal in the end had hurt Clarke, so she didn’t want to go through this again. Her thoughts got interrupted by the meeting.

‘’Field commanders, today's the day we get our people back. The enemy thinks it's safe behind its doors, but it's not. When it realizes that, it will fight back...hard. We need to be ready’’ Lexa said.  
After that she looked at Clarke who was still standing next to her. 

‘’This is a rescue mission. We are not here to wipe them out. There are people inside that mountain that have helped us, children who have nothing to do with this war. We kill their soldiers, their leadership if we have to, but we are there to rescue our people. Is that clear?’’ Clarke said serious.  
Lexa knew that Clarke had always been to kind for this world. She knew that what Clarke had done in that Mountain in the past, had broken her, torn her apart. Clarke changed a lot after that, and that’s when she became Wanheda.  
The people in the room got confused to what Clarke said. Somehow it was against their ways. They were unsure if the plan was going to work but had to go with it anyway because their Commander had faith in it.

Clarke interrupted the chattering and said ‘’Then let’s begin’’.  
‘’There are 4 teams. Two of them are at the dam and in the mine are moving into position already. The third inside the mountain is freeing the Grounder prisoners as we speak. It is our job as the fourth team to keep the eyes of the enemy off of them for as long as possible. To do that, we have to be in position here at the main door with our entire army. The mountain men believe the door can't be opened from the outside, so they leave it unguarded. Only it can be, and thanks to our source on the inside, now we know how. According to Maya, the electromagnetic locking system has one flaw. When the power goes out, it disengages. That's where Raven's team comes in. The mountain's electricity is generated at Philpott Dam. By now, they've taken the turbine room. It's their job to blow the power. Once they do, we blow the lock. There is a catch, a backup generator inside the mountain. If the lock is still functioning when that backup power kicks in, we'll never get that door open, we'll never get our people back.’’

‘’How much time do we have until the backup power kicks in?’’ Asked one of the Skaikru guards.  
‘’One minute. That's the window’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Small window’’ he noted. ‘’Why don't we just take out the backup generator, too? Bellamy's inside. Have him do it’’ He said.  
‘’Leaving them without power that long would kill them all, and as I said, that's not the mission. Besides, we lost contact with Bellamy’’ Clarke said, a bit worried that the people weren’t totally convinced of her plan.  
‘’What? We did? When?’’ Monroe asked worried.  
‘’After he took out the acid fog’’ Clarke said.

Lexa interrupted the two of them and wanted to go back to bussines. She knew this plan was going to fail but she wanted to go along with it for now.  
‘’Bellamy is a warrior. He’ll be fine’’ Lexa said reassuring.  
‘’As the commander said, once the door is open, the shooting will start, and they'll throw everything they have at us, but that's what we want. We want them looking at us because while we're fighting at the front door, Indra's team will be escorting the prisoners out the back, right through the reaper tunnels. Once all our people are free, they'll sound the retreat. We'll be back home before Mount Weather even knows they're gone, and that's it. That's the plan’’ Clarke said. She hoped that everyone agreed to it. They didn’t have more time to figure out something else, the Mountain Men had already started to extract bonemarrow from the Skaikru.

‘’The mountain has cast a shadow over these woods for too long. They've hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance with the Sky People, the mountain will fall. As Clarke said, we spare the innocent. As for the guilty...Jus dren jus daun, jus dren jus daun, jus dren jus daun’’ Lexa said.  
All the other people joined in and the whole tent was cheering at just dren just daun. 

A few hours later, the attack had started. Monroe was drilling a whole in the door for the bomb. Clarke, Lexa, Lincoln and the rest of the army were already waiting for the order to attack. When Monroe finished drilling the whole she stepped back ‘’That should do it. Bomb away’’ she said.  
That’s when Millers father, the guard from the meeting earlier stepped in and placed the bomb in the drilled hole.  
‘’Be careful’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Archers watch the trees’’ Lexa said.

Time had passed fast and it was already dark outside when Clarke and Lexa were still waiting for Raven and Wick to turn of the power from the dam. Lexa faced Clarke and asked ‘’What will you do when it’s over?’’.  
‘’I have no idea.’’  
‘’ Well, what do you want?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Nothing. My people back. I can't think past today’’ Clarke said.  
‘’You should come with me to the capital. Polis will change the way you think about us.’’  
‘’You already have’’ Clarke admitted.  
Their talk got interrupted by shooting that came from the trees. Lexa knew what this meant. She was about to betray the woman she loved. 

‘’It's coming from the dam’’ Lincolnd noted.  
‘’They know we're going for the power’’ Clarke said. ‘’They know we're going for the door’’ Lexa said. She was worried. And didn’t want to go through this again.  
‘’Raven will get it done’’ Monrow said. ‘’She’s one of us. Monroe trusted Raven because she knew what Raven was capable of. Lexa knew Raven in her old life too, she was the girl where Finn had cheated on Clarke with. In this world, Raven was some bad ass mechanic and she trusted her but couldn’t say that to the others.  
‘’As soon as those lights go off, you push that button’’ David, Millers father said.  
‘’We'll do the rest’’ Lincoln said.

 

 

Raven had turned down the power a few minutes later and this was the sign for Clarke to blow up the door. Clarke was about to press the button until Lexa looked at her. They decided to do it to together ‘’For those we’ve lost..’’Clarke said. ‘’And for those who we’ll soon find’’ Lexa said, finished Clarkes sentence. They both pressed but it didn’t work.  
‘’What's wrong? Why isn't it working?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’They're jamming us. I have to get closer’’ Clarke said. 

Clarke tried to get closer to the door of the mountain but they were shooting at her. This made Lexa worry so she called out ‘’Clarke!’’.  
‘’Flank those trees’’ Lexa ordered. She knew that Emerson was hiding up there somewhere. David was going to the door with Lincoln to blow up the door manually. At first it didn’t work because they were gotting shot at, but at the last moment they door get blown up and it worked.  
‘’We need to get to that ridge and take out the shooters’’ Lincoln said.  
‘’No! You stay with Clarke. When the shooting stops, you get that door open’’ She nodded at Lincoln before leaving Clarke behind. Lexa knew what she had to do.

After a while the shooting stopped from the trees. ‘’Lexa did it’’ Lincoln said.  
Clarke nodded ‘’they will be waiting just inside the door’’.  
‘’Good’’ Lincoln said. He turned around and said ‘’Follow me. Two lines. Get ready to pull’’ he said while running towards the door.  
Lincoln and some other grounders started pulling the door. ‘’Train your fire on the door’’ Clarke said.  
The Grounders pulled as hard as they could, but the door remained locked. After a while the door finally opened and Clarke looked relieved.  
The Grounder army behind her started to cheer.

‘’Attack!’’ Clarke ordered. They were about to attack when their Commander stopped them ‘’Stand down’’ She ordered. Everyone was confused about what the Commander was doing. Lexa walked towards Clarke. Her face was covered in blood and she knew that this was the moment she was about to betray Clarke.  
Grounders started to walk out of the mountain through the door.  
‘’They’re surrendering?’’ Clarke asked confused.  
‘’Not quite’’ Emerson said with a grin on his face.  
Clarke looked at Emeron and after that right back at Lexa. She could she the hurt in Lexas eyes but she was to angry to pay attention to any of it ‘’What did you do?’’ she asked, somewhat hurt.  
‘’What you would’ve done. Save my people’’ Lexa said holding back her pain. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t look weak in front of her people.  
‘’Where are my people?’’ Clarke asked angry.  
‘’I’m sorry Clarke. They weren’t part of the deal’’ Lexa said.

Lincoln didn’t understand what was happening so he walked towards Clarke and the Commander ‘’What is this?’’ He asked.  
‘’Your commander's made a deal’’.  
’’What about prisoners from the Ark?’’ Lincoln asked worried.  
‘’They'll all be killed... But you don't care about that, do you?’’ Clarke spat out.  
‘’I do care, Clarke, but I made this choice with my head and not my heart. The duty to protect my people comes first.’’  
‘’Please don’t do this’’ Clarke begged her.

Lexa saw the hurt in her eyes. And she wanted Clarke to forgive her. She knew that was going to be hard. Lexa didn’t answer to Clarke, but instead turned to Emerson and cut him loose.  
He turned to the Commander and said ‘’You’ve made the right choice, Commander.’’  
Lexa grabbed her sword from her side and put it through his heart before he could say another word. His lifeless body dropped to the ground right at their feet.  
Clarke looked more confused than ever and stared at Lexa ‘’What’s the meaning of this?’’  
Lexa put her sword away and looked at Clarke ‘’Not much. Now let’s save your people’’ she said while winking at Clarke.

‘’I don’t understand’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Well, Clarke. The door is open. Let’s go in. We can’t sacrifice anymore of your people’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke didn’t know what just happened but she was so happy. One moment she thought she was betrayed and the other moment she wasn’t. ‘’Okay you’re right. But Lexa. I don’t want to sacrifice anymore of your people. Your people have suffered enough already’’.  
Lexa nodded and agreed to this ‘’Then let’s take back your people with a small group of warriors’’.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yes. Good idea. Bellamy is already inside. And we have a team in the mines. Let’s do this’’.

Lexa agreed. ‘’Let’s go’’. ‘’Lincoln, take back the people to safer ground’’ The Commander said. Before dissapearing into the mountain door along with Clarke and a few other gunmen and Trikru warriors.  
Lexa knew she had yet changed another thing that had happened in the past. But she couldn’t be happier about it. Lexa turned around and saw Clarke next to her. She then realized, that no matter where she was, Clarke was her home, and she was not about to lose that to the future. 

 

In the other life..

A few weeks had passed and there still hadn’t been any changes to Lexas condition. She was still in a coma and the doctors were afraid she might never wake up again. They had prepared Clarke for this but Clarke still remained to have hope. She didn’t want to give up on Lexa just yet. Clarke was sitting on a chair next to Lexas bed and started talking to Lexa. She had heard from some people that people in coma could her everything. She didn’t know if this was true, but she wanted to believe it anyway.  
‘’I miss you so much’’ Clarke said. ‘’It hasn’t been the same without you. You know we still had that project to finish. We got more time for it. Kane said that he didn’t want me to worry about it. Even my mom went easy on me’’.  
Clarke held a pause. She grabbed Lexas hand and held it tight. Lexas hand was ice cold. Her body looked lifeless. Like Lexa wasn’t there. ‘’I remember the first time we held hands. It was that beautiful night. When we had gone out the first time. I had cold hands because it was freezing and yours were warm as always. You held my hands tight the whole way home. When we walked the last part and I was cold, you even gave me my jacket. Lex, you were always the love of my life. My soulmate. And I thought that I could forget you. But honestly, I can’t. And I know you can’t hear me. But I love you’’ Clarke said.


	9. Nou sen yu fut daun nowe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa are inside the mountain when they realise the drilling for bonemarrow has started. Lexa tries to save everyone. Clarke is faced with the fear of losing her and other people she loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah this is so not how it happened in the series. I know that I made Lexa the big hero in this chapter but I wanted to do this because she deserved much better than in the tv-series. I hope you guys like it :) sorry for typos. Still gonna fix that later. Cheers!

Clarke, Lexa and the other warriors walked through the door that opened into the Mountain. Once inside, there was no one to be seen. Clarke realised the people must have gone to a safe place. She turned to Lexa ‘’I think they are on another level. When I was held captive I was at level 5. It was some kind of living room. We should stay away from there. We are here to kill the leaders’’.  
Lexa nodded ‘’you’re right. Enough have suffered already. Do you know the way?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes. I know the way. But Lexa once we’re in there. There’s no way back. I don’t want anyone else to risk their lives. Please send your warriors back’’.  
‘’Okay I will, Clarke’’. Lexa turned around and faced the warriors behind her ‘’Go back. Follow Lincoln and bring the rest of the army back to our camp where it’s safe’’ Lexa ordered.  
The Grounder warriors looked confused ‘’Heda, what about you?’’ one asked.  
‘’I’ll be fine. Go now’’ she ordered. The Grounders nodded and left the Mountain as fast as they could.

The only ones left were Clarke and Lexa.  
‘’Good’’ Clarke said. ‘’It’s this way’’ Clarke said while pointing at an elevator.  
Clarke and Lexa stepped into the elevator. The power worked again in the mountain. Clarke knew she had to find her friends first. They could help them free the rest of the Skaikru. Clarke pressed the button to the second floor. There was a total silence in the elevator until Lexa began talking ‘’Clarke, I’m so sorry about earlier. I had to. I had no choice. I hope you still trust me’’.  
Lexa turned around facing Clarke. Lexa saw the worry in Clarkes eyes. ‘’Lexa, I trust you. You’re here now. That’s what counts. Thank you for being here’’ she said.

They arrived at the second floor and the door opened right away. Lexa stepped out first and motioned Clarke to get behind her. Lexa pulled out her sword from the strap at her side and she watched if there was someone on this floor. Lexa looked to the left and saw a guard in uniform walking. Lexa gestured Clarke to follow her. She walked into sight and Lexa charged with full power on the guard. She was about to put her sword through the guards heart, until she was stopped by Clarke who jumped between the two of them. Lexa stood still in her tracks and looked confused at Clarke. 

‘’It’s okay, Lexa. He’s Skaikru’’ Clarke said. Clarke turned around and pulled Monty in for a hug.   
‘’It’s good to see you’’ she said with a smile. Monty hugged her back ‘’right back at you’’.  
Clarke let go and faced Lexa ‘’Lexa this is one of the 100 delinquents. This is Monty’’.  
Monty shook hands with Lexa and introduced himself ‘’Hi, Clarke is right that’s me. We’re not safe here. Follow me’’ he gestured.  
He led Clarke and Lexa into a control room. Clarke was surprised to see Bellamy and Octavia standing in the controlroom. Lexa looked suspicious at her surroundings and stood guard at the door ‘’hurry up’’ she said. Clarke nodded and walked towards Bellamy and Octavia and pulled the Blakes in for a hug ‘’I’m so glad to see that you guys are okay’’.   
‘’Uhumm’’ Monty said coffing, ‘’guys, come look at this’’ he said holding back his emotions.

Clarke let go of the twins and she looked at the computerscreen where Monty was pointing at.   
‘’OH MY GOD’’ Clarke said with tears, she took a few steps back and trembled over a wire. She was so in shock. Lexa saw her fall and caught Clarke in her arms ‘’Clarke, what’s wrong?’’ she asked worried.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’They’ve got my..’’ She said stuttering. Clarke blacked out.   
Monty turned around with a pal face ‘’they have got her mother’’ he said.  
Lexa looked at the screen and saw the Mountain Men drilling in Clarkes mother leg for bonemarrow.   
She didn’t say a word but Lexa stood up and looked at Bellamy ‘’ take care of Clarke. You guys stay here. If anyone comes in, kill them’’ she said reassuring. Lexa walked over to Bellamy and handed over her dagger ‘’if Clarke wakes up, give her that. She will know it’s mine’’. Bellamy nodded ‘’what are you going to do?’’ he asked.  
‘’Something I should have done before’’ Lexa said. Lexa turned to Monty who was still sitting behind the computer ‘’What floor are they on?’’ she asked. ‘’The 5th floor’’ Monty said.  
Lexa thanked Monty and left the room before saying another word. She closed the door behind her and made her way to the elevator.

Lexa grabbed her sword from her side she pointed it right at the door. Lexa had no idea if she was going to survive this but she had no choice. She didn’t want to make the same mistake again like she had done in the past. The door of the elevator opened when she arrived on the fifth floor. Lexa heard movement coming from the right. One guard came running at her shooting bullets all around her. Lexa dodged the bullets and charged with full power at the men. She sliced her sword through his legs. He fell right down on the floor. The man tried to reach for his gun but Lexa was faster and she stabbed him the heart before she walked further through the hallway. The hallway was grey and looked gloomy inside. Lexa ran through a door and came out in another hallway. 

She saw a sign with ‘’Lab’’ on it. She followed it and it led her to the chamber where the Skaikru was being held. Well atleast, a few of them. Their were a few guards standing in front of the door. Lexa pointed her sword in front of her and said outloud ‘’ Ai laik Heda Lexa kom Trikru’’. She charged at full power at the men and killed them instantly. Lexa was a fine warrior and she had made it so far. But she had no idea what was about to come in the room. Lexa wipped some blood of her face and held her hand before her. She saw the blood on her hands. Atleast Clarke didn’t have to do this she thought to herself. Before kicking in the door and charging into the room.

Clarke opened her eyes and looked up she saw Bellamy holding her. She had been out for about 10 minutes. The image of people drilling into her mother became to much for her so she passed out. Clarke realized that she still needed to save her mother. Bellamy tried to hold her down because she didn’t look that good ‘’Clarke, easy’’. Clarke didn’t listen to him and stood up right away. She looked around the room and saw that Lexa was gone. ‘’Where did Lexa go?!’’ she asked worried.  
Bellamy took a few step backs and grabbed Lexas dagger from the desk. He handed it over to Clarke ‘’She wanted you to have this’’ he said. Clarke grabbed the dagger and looked at it ‘’You didn’t answer my question’’ Clarke said bitter.

‘’She left, trying to save your mother and the rest of the Skaikru’’ he explained.  
Clarke looked angry ‘’And you let her do that on her own?!’’ she spat out.  
Octavia stepped towards Clarke ‘’It’s not his fault’’ she pointed out. ‘’Your girlfriend ordered us to stay here’’ she said a bit annoyed. ‘’She’s not my girlfriend’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Uhm guys..’’ Monty said interrupting. ‘’This is really not the time to fight’’.   
The three turned to Monty facing and nodded at the same time. Clarke interrupted the silence and turned towards Octavia ‘’Can you come with me? I can’t let her do this on her own. If something happens to her I’ll never forgive myself’’ Clarke said. Bellamy gave Clarke a gun and wished them luck ‘’Goodluck. O, return safely. You too Clarke’’. Octavia nodded ‘’Of course’’ she pulled out her sword and left the room with Clarke heading towards Lexa. Clarke just hoped that nothing happened to Lexa in the meantime.

During the first blows, Lexa concentrated on her defense. She let her sword swing around into the rhythm of the fight. She knew she had so much to loose. Of course she had practiced a lot in her youth but she hadn’t fought like this in a while. Her last big fight was with Prince Roan of Azgeda in her past. Lexa had gotten much better as time passed, that was because of her mentor Anya.  
After several minutes of attempting to get past the guards defenses, Lexa lost her temper and began to batter at them as if the tried to pound them into the ground. One of the guards pulled out a gun and shot with all he had at Lexa. One of the bullets pierced through her shoulderblade. Lexa screamed out in pain but kept fighting. She had expected a quick defeat but she had understimated the situation. She felt the blood flowing out of her shoulder but she fought for her life. She was out for blood. Lexa heard Abby screaming for help behind another door. Lexa had never been more motivated to win a fight. The gunshots kept firing at her. She ducked behind a wooden box, trying not to get hit.   
Lexa thought desperately for a way out of the mess. Her shoulder was hit pretty bad and she felt her condition getting worse. The guars had reloaded their guns and started firing again at the wooden box. Lexa jumped from behind it and charged with full power at two guards. She slipped past their defenses and slashed towards their throats. They dropped right in front of her, blood flowing out of them. Lexa had finally defeated the guards when she heard a door opening. 

No one other than Cage Wallace came out. Lexa knew that this was the man behind all of these experiments. He had a gun in his hands and pointed at it right at Lexa. Lexa tried to dodge the bullets but her gunshot in the shoulder brought her of balance and she fell on the floor. Cage tried to pull the trigger. ‘’BAM’’ he fell right on the floor. Lexa looked up and saw Clarke standing with a gun behind her. Clarke looked at Lexa and ran towards her. She helped Lexa sit up ‘’You’re hurt’’ she noted. Lexa shook her head at Clarke and pointed at another door ‘’Your mother and the rest of your people are behind that door.’’   
Clarke nodded and turned around facing Octavia. Octavia was pretty hurt after a fight with ten guards. One of the guards caught her of guard and attacked her in the back. She was okay but she needed medical help. Lexa saw this too and faced Clarke ‘’Take her back to the controlroom. I got this’’. Clarke didn’t want to go and shook her head ‘’NO. I’m not leaving you alone!’’ Clarke started to cry. Lexa pulled Clarke in for a hug and leaned in for a quick kiss before she cupped Clarkes face and said ‘’You’re not leaving me behind. Your friend needs you. GO NOW!’’ she said.  
Clarke nodded and left with Octavia. Lexa stood up, picked up her sword, stole the keys from Cage and opened the door. 

There was no sound of drilling at the moment. They probably heard the fight and knew that they were coming for them. Lexa opened the door with the key. She kicked the door open and hid behind in the doorway. Guns were being fired at her right away. Another one pierced Lexa through her left leg. Lexa fell down but got right back up. She charged at the remaining guards and killed them both right away. They dropped on the floor before her. Lexa kneeled down next to the guards and grabbed the keys from them. There was a table in the middle of the room with Abby Griffin on it. She was cuffed to the table and was unconscious. Lexa opened the cuffs with the keys and freed Abby. Lexa saw that Abby was bleeding pretty bad so she tore her cloak apart and bandaged her wounds. 

Clarke made it back with Octavia to the controlroom. ‘’SHE DID IT!!’’ Monty screamed with tears on his face from happines. Clarke looked at the screen and saw Lexa bowing over her mother taking care of some wounds. Clarke faced Bellamy ‘’Take care of O. I have to go to Lexa. She needs help.’’

Lexa was freeing all the prisoners one by one. She unlocked their cuffs and helped them to the floor so they could sit down. She walked towards Marcus Kane and freed him too ‘’It’s okay. Your safe now. Abby needs you’’ Lexa said. Before walking towards Harper. She freed Harper as well ‘’You’re safe now’’ Lexa said. After 5 minutes all the prisoners were freed. They were in pretty bad shape. Apparently the Mountain Men had captured another group of prisoners. Abby, Kane, Raven and Monroe were among them. Lexa knew that this weren’t all of the prisoners. Some of them were on level five with their leader Dante Wallace. They had to take him down otherwise this would have been for nothing.

Clarke rushed into the room and saw that all the Skaikru prisoners had been freed. Clarke ran towards her mother who was still laying on the table. Kane was holding her and she had gain consciousness. Clarke hugged her mother tight ‘’I tried to be the good guy’’ she said. Abby started crying and answered ‘’Maybe there are no good guys’’. Lexa was happy to see that they made it in time for Clarkes mother and the rest of the Skaikru. Well except for those on level 6.   
Clarke asked Kane to take care of her mother and walked towards Lexa who was sitting in a corner of the room. She was hurt pretty bad and not in the best shape she could be. Clarke kneeled down besides her and looked at the blood flooding out of Lexas wounds ‘’Let me get you bandaged up’’ she said worried. Lexa nodded and let Clarke take care of her.

Clarke had bandaged Lexas wound. ‘’Lexa thank you. I couldn’t have done this without you’’ Clarke said emotional.  
Lexa nodded and hugged Clarke. ‘’Can you help me up?’’ Lexa asked.   
‘’Yes of course’’ Clarke said. Clarke helped Lexa up. Lexa looked around the room for her sword. She picked up and walked back to Clarke ‘’Our fight is not over’’ she said.  
‘’You’re right. We still need to save Maya, Jasper and the others from level 6’’ Clarke said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Let’s go’’ Lexa said. Clarke followed Lexa right out of the room. Heading towards Dante Wallace. Both of them were out for blood. Dante had done enough to both their people. Jus drein jus daun’’ Lexa said.


	10. My fight is not over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke are facing the last leader of the Mountain Men. They both need to fight for their lives. Lexa saves a bunch of people again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter :). Sorry for typos. Will fix that when the story is finished :). Anyway cheers!

Lexa strumbled towards the ventilation shaft. That was the only way inside the Mountain that could get them to level 6. Lexa and Clarke knew that level 6 was going to be heavenly guarded. Every person that lived in the Mountain was there because of what the Skaikru and the Grounders did to the power. It was the only way they could survive. Clarke saw Lexa struggling with her pain but didn’t want to bring it up. She knew that Lexa needed help because she had lost a lot of blood, but Lexa didn’t want that until all of the Skaikru was safe. Clarke walked behind Lexa because Lexa wanted to go first to check if it was safe. When they reached the ventilation shaft Clarke and Lexa crawled their way up through the pipes until they reached level 6. It was only one floor above them. 

When they finally reached level 6, they were careful. They knew that this level was heavenly guarded. All the remaining guards were here. Lexa opened the hatch that led them out of the pipes. She looked around but didn’t see anyone. See crawled out of the ventilationshaft en stood up so she could help Clarke. The reached for Clarkes hand and helped her stand up. ‘’Clarke. Wait here. I don’t want you to get hurt’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No way, you’re hurt pretty bad. I am not leaving you’’ Clarke said stoic.  
Lexa shuckled and nodded ‘’alright, do you know where the controlroom is on this level?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes. It’s there’’ Clarke pointed at a door at the end of the hallway. ‘’But in the middle of the opening is the livingroom. The guards are probably there’’ Clarke pointed out.  
‘’Yeah I figured. Jus drein jus daun’’ Lexa said. Lexa knew that this wasn’t her way and that she had worked towards peace in her past. But that led to her dying so she was not about to go down without a fight. She got a second chance to fix her past mistakes so she was not about to give that up. Clarke and her were close again and that felt amazing to her. Even though she still missed her old life where she had her car accident, she knew she had to focus on this life. She had to complete her mission here first to return there. She wanted that Clarke to remember this life. Because Lexa knew that this was the life that brought the two of them together in the first place.   
Clarke didn’t answer Lexa but pulled her in for a hug ‘’Don’t even think about dying tonight. I need you alive. Heda’’.

Lexa slipped into the hug and she knew she would memorize this forever. ‘’Don’t worry. I have a reason to fight. I was wrong about you, Clarke. Your heart shows no sign of weakness’’ Lexa admitted.  
That made Clarke laugh before she let go. She looked at Lexa and in that moment she realized she had fallen in love with the Commander.   
‘’Alright enough chit chat for now. We have a whole bunch of people to save’’ Lexa said sarcastically.  
‘’Yes. What’s your plan?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’I’m going in to fight all the guards. You have to go to the controlroom to kill Dante Wallace. We can win this when he’s dead. I know that won’t be easy for you but we have no choice. Trust me, Clarke. I can take them. I may strumble around with my leg, but Anya taught me well’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Alright. Let’s go’’ Clarke said. 

Lexa grabbed her sword from her side and walked through the hallway towards the livingroom. She hid in the corner before the opening. She looked back at Clarke and gestured her to go to the controlroom. Lexa saw about 20 guards, heavenly armed in what looked like a livingroom. All the Mountain men were gone except for them. They were probably brough to safety. Somewhere in rooms behind the guards. Clarke passed by Lexa and dissapeared out of Lexa her sight.  
Lexa got out of her hiding place and stood in the opening. ‘’YU GONPLEI STE ODON’’ She yelled at the guards. They spotted her and ran towards her. A few of them hid behind the table in the room. Lexa met around 5 guards halfway. Lexa concentrated on her defense. She swung her sword around at the guards, killing them one by one. Until all 5 dropped on the ground in a podle of blood. She then dodged the bullets that were fired at her and she charged with all power at the 15 remaing guards. Lexa killed one man, she slit his throat when he was reloading. The other 14 were still hiding. They pulled back after some kind of iron table. They kept firing at her. Lexa knew this was going to be hard. But she hid for a second to regain some strength, after that she charged with full power at the remaining man. She strumbled her way through their defences. But was hit with another bullet in her upper arm. She screamed out in pain but jumped over the iron table. She stabbed one of the man with her knife. Another man with her sword. They dropped down on the floor. She felt bad for every life she took but she had no choice. She was a survivor. Lexa saw another man in a corner hiding, but still firing bullets at her. She jumped from behind the table, dodging the bullets by moving around all the time. Lexa jumped through his defence and stabbed him in the hand. His gun fell on the ground rightaway. He looked at the Commander and said ‘’I give up. Kill me if you want’’.  
Lexa spat at him ‘’You people think you’re so powerfull with your guns and all. But when it comes close to dying, you Mountain Men are weak’’. 

Lexa would have killed this man right away in the past. But she didn’t want to be like that anymore. So she reached out for his hand to help him up. The man took her hand and stood up. He looked terrified. ‘’Don’t worry. I will spare you’’ she said. ‘’Thank you’’ the man said.  
‘’You just need to do one thing for me’’ Lexa said angry.   
The man was afraid of her but didn’t want to die so he obeyed ‘’What?’’ he asked.  
‘’Go to the controlroom. Clarke kom Skaikru is there. Killing your last leader as we speak. Go, help her’’.  
The man nodded and left the room heading towards Clarke.  
Lexa charged at the remaining guards. She was hurt pretty bad but wanted to try it anyway.

Clarke had reached the controlroom and had Dante under shot. Clarke knew that the Grounders would never be safe it the Mountain Men would be alive. Dante stood across Clarke but didn’t say a word. ‘’I killed your son’’ Clarke said, realizing what she had done.  
Dante didn’t react to Clarke. ‘’We both want the best for our people’’ he said.  
‘’I know you are trying to save yours Clarke. But there’s to sides to this. No more people have to die. My son was a foolish man, he had this coming at him when he started that bonemarrow experiment. I however, want peace for my people. We are both trying to survive’’ Dante said while trying to step closer to Clarke.  
‘’Don’t move!’’ Clarke said angry. ‘’Or, what?’’ He spat out. ‘’Shoot me, that saves me a lot of pain later’’.

Clarkes hand shook. She was still aiming the gun at Dante.  
‘’You’re making a big mistake, Clarke. Put down your gun. Or your precious Commander wil die’’ he said with a grin on his face. Dante turned around to the computer and showed Clarke the camere footage. Some guard had captured Lexa, he held her sword at her throat.   
‘’If you shoot me. She dies’’ He said laughing.  
‘’No. I’m not letting you go. You killed Fox. One of the delinquents’’ she spat out in anger.  
‘’Your fight is over’’ Clarke said. She pulled the trigger and Dante fell down in front of her. Blood flooded out of him, coloring the floor red.  
Clarke faced the camera and saw Lexa falling down, bleeding from her chest. Without thinking any longer, Clarke grabbed her gun and ran towards the livingroom. Killing the last guard instantly, heading towards Lexa.

Lexa felt like she was fading away. The dark was coming towards her. She tried to spare a mans life but got paid back with a bulled fired through her chest. The same man, who was so afraid of her. Betrayed her and tried to kill her as fast as she could. He was now lying on the floor besides her. Looking straight at her, dying just like her. Lexa accepted her faith and she knew that this would be her time to return to Clarke in her other life. Well atleast, until she saw Clarke from the corners of her. Clarke held her in arms. ‘’Lexa I need you. Don’t you dare give up’’ Clarke whispered to her.  
This were the last things Lexa heard before things turned black.

A few days had passed since the attack in the Mountain. Lexa was in pretty bad condition but Abby had been able to save her. Lexa almost slipped away from them. Her heart had stopped for a few seconds but Abby was able to bring her back. They had taken Lexa back to Camp Jaha, to give her the best medical attention they could. She had been out for a few days, part of that was to blame because of the blood lose. They had operated her, removing all the bullets. Lexa had been lucky and she could shake it of with just some stitched wounds. None of her internal organs were hit.   
The first thing Lexa saw when she opened her eyes was Clarke sitting next to her bed. Clarke was asleep and Lexa loved to see Clarke at peace like this. She realized that the pain she was in now, was worth it. Clarke would never get the name Wanheda now.   
Lexa moved her hand and held one of Clarkes. She moved the other one slowly to Clarkes hair and put some strings of hair behind Clarkes ear. She then tipped Clarkes shoulder ‘’Wake up’’ she said softly.

Clarke felt someone touch her shoulder. She woke up slowly, looking at the sight of Lexa staring at her with those beautiful green eyes.  
‘’OH MY GOD’’ Clarke said while crying from happines. ‘’You’re awake’’.  
Lexa nodded at Clarke ‘’Of course, I told you. I’d be fine’’ she winked.  
‘’Yeah Commander bad ass’’ Clarke chuckled.  
‘’You mean, Commander heart eyes’’ someone said interrupting them.  
Both of them turned around to see Octavia standing the room with Lincoln.  
‘’Whoa, watch your words. Ai Laik heda’’ Lexa said laughing.  
Octavia laughed back ‘’It’s good to see you alive, Heda’’ she said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded and looked at Lincoln ‘’were you able to bring them to safety?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes. They are waiting for the return of their commander’’ he said.  
‘’Good. Thank you, Lincoln kom Trikru’’ Lexa said.

Lexa was able to walk a few days later. This is when she decided to go back to the Grounder Camp. Clarke helped her back into her armor. Lexa couldn’t do this on her own because of her wounds that were still healing.   
‘’Be careful’’ Clarke said worried. ‘’We don’t want you to rip your stitches open’’ she said.  
‘’Yeah, I know. But I have to return to my people. It’s time they see their Commander back in action.’’  
Clarke laughed ‘’Back in action, huh?’’ She chuckled.  
Lexa felt embarressed ‘’Yeah well, or so to speak.’’  
‘’I was just kidding. Don’t worry Lexa. You’ll be fine’’ Clarke said while handing Lexa her boots.  
Lexa sat down on the edge of her bed and put her boots on. When she was done she stood up and looked at Clarke ‘’how do I look?’’ she asked.  
Clarke looked at her ‘’Commander like’’she said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Good. I have to get back now.’’  
‘’Yeah let me help you get on your horse.’’ Lexa nodded and agreed for Clarke to help her.  
They both walked back to the stables where the Skaikru had taken care of Lexa her horse. Her name was Anya. The horse was named after Anya, to honor her. Lexa mounted the horse and was about to ride away when she turned to Clarke ‘’Come visit me in Polis soon’’ she said.  
‘’Yeah. I will hold you on to that deal’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded and waved Clarke goodbye ‘’May we meet again’’ she said before dissapearing into the woods. Lexa knew that she would see Clarke soon.


	11. Polis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa arrives back at Polis and she needs to explain herself. She invites Clarke to join her, even though she knows there will be dangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. I've chosen to write the story this way because I wanted to show Lexa and Clarke without having to face all those things that happened.   
> Sorry for typos. Gonna fix that as always :3. Cheers!

Lexa finally arrived in Polis after two days travelling. The news had spread around fast that Heda would be returning to the Capital. Lexa had missed the Capital a lot. It had been months since she had been here. The Capital was nothing like other Grounder cities, in Polis there was peace. One big Skyscraper stood in the middle of it. This was the Commanders building. Everything was build around, there was a big market. A lot of houses, and of course a fighting area. That’s where Lexa trained her young warriors. Aden had been one of them. Lexa remembered him well, she was very fond of him. He respected her and she respected him. He always spoke the truth and promised he’d take care of Clarke. Lexa had no idea what happened after her death here. She knew it might come again, but this time she wanted to change everything for good. The Commanders spirit had told her to do everything the same but Lexa didn’t want this. She wanted to change her past before she would return to her old life with Clarke. 

When Lexa arrived at the gates of Polis she was greeted by Indra, her most trusted guard ‘’Heda, welcome back’’ Indra said.  
Lexa made a bow gesture on her horse and laughed ‘’Indra, good to see you. What has become of my beloved capital?’’ Lexa asked jokingly.  
Indra shook her head ‘’Heda, there are some issues. You need to talk to Titus’’ she stated.  
Lexa nodded ‘’of course I will. But first let me in’’ she ordered.  
The gates opened and Lexa rode on her horse inside Polis. Some Grounders around the gates recognised their leader ‘’Welcome back, Heda’’.  
Lexa thanked them and rode towards her stables. She rode as fast as she could because she was weak and didn’t want to cause any problems with her return. Lexa knew that the real danger was her own advisor, Titus. He shot her in her past. Though the bullet was meant for Clarke back then. Lexa knew he was going to have a problem with Clarke again when she would come to visit Polis soon.  
Lexa dismounted her horse when she arrived at the stables and gave the reins of the horse to one of her guards. She greeted them and then walked into the Tower.   
Inside there was a big elevator leading towards her chambers. They were on the top floor. That was the safest for the Commander, because no one could come near except for her guards. And of course, visitors. 

Lexa arrived at the top floor when she was greated by her guards ‘’Welcome back, Heda’’ they said.  
Lexa nodded and walk through the hallway towards her throneroom. She knew she had matters to discuss with Titus, besides being her advisor, he was also the Flamekeeper.  
The guards opened the door for her and Lexa walked into the throneroom. All ambassadors from the twelve clans were already waiting for the return of their Commander. Everyone stood up when they saw her and bowed to the Commander. Lexa walked to the throne, she stood still in front of it and gestured everyone to sit down. She sat down as well. Lexa looked fierce as always, she was wearing her Commander armor, except for the Warpaint. She didn’t need that because the Grounders were at peace at the moment. There was a total silence in the room until Titus began to speak ‘’Yu kik raun kom kongeda, yu wan op kom kongeda (Live by the coalition, die by the coalition).’’  
‘’Hod op, Titus’’ Lexa said. ‘’We’ve come together today to discuss the matters that happened at Mount Weather. I assume you have a lot of questions. Go ahead, you can ask them’’ Lexa said.  
The ambassadors looked surprised by the Commander. They weren’t used to this freedom, to just ask questions. One of the ambassadors stood up and walked towards the middle of the room.  
‘’What happened at the Mountain?’’ he asked.  
‘’The leader of the Mountain offered me a deal. It freed all of our people, without having to suffer a great loss. I accepted it, and freed all our prisoners. Except for the Skaikru, they weren’t part of the deal. When all our prisoners got out, I killed the man who offered the deal and went in the Mountain too safe the prisoners of the Skaikru. We were able to kill, all the leaders. But spared the innocent. It was a harder fight than we had expected and I got shot three times, in my chest, my leg and my shoulder. Clarke kom Skaikru brought me to their camp and saved me’’.  
The ambassador nodded ‘’We just wanted to say that we think you’ve done well, Heda. Welcome back’’. The meeting ended pretty quick after that. Lexa still wanted to talk to Titus. She wanted to discuss his problems about the Skaikru.   
‘’Titus, we need to talk’’ she said.  
Titus nodded and turned towards the Commander ‘’Yes, Heda’’.  
‘’Titus, I want the Skaikru to become the 13th clan. I want the Skaikru to become my people as well. This way there can be peace’’.  
Titus shook his head ‘’You can’t be serious heda?!’’ he said furiously. ‘’Your feelings for Clarke, put both of you in danger. To be Commander is to be alone’’ he spat out.  
‘’ENOUGH!’’ Lexa said rising from her throne walking towards him.  
‘’I’m sorry Heda. I didn’t mean to be disrectfull towards you’’ Titus said.  
‘’Stop lying to me, Titus. I know you have a problem with the Skaikru. And especially Clarke kom Skaikru. Explain to me why’’ Lexa demanded.  
‘’She makes you look weak. I heard the stories from the others. You got injured because of her’’ he stated.  
‘’No, Titus. I got injured because it was my decision not hers. Clarke kom Skaikru is invited to Polis. And you’re not going to do anything. Do you understand?’’ Lexa said deadly serious.  
‘’Yes, Heda’’ Titus said before leaving the room.

About a week passed and Clarke didn’t hear anything from the Commander in this time. She knew Lexa needed to recover from her battlewounds. But somehow, she was still a bit dissapointed. Clarke always had hope to go the Grounders capital someday and see Lexa again. She missed her everyday.  
Until one morning when someone waked her up. ‘’Clarke, wakey wakey’’ a voice said.  
‘’Mhhmm, five more minutes’’ Clarke said with a sleepy voice.  
‘’Uhm, Clarke.. I don’t think you should let her wait that long’’ the voice said.  
‘’Mhhmm..just let me sleep’’ Clarke said again. ‘’No, Commander heart eyes is here for you’’ Octavia said teasingly.  
Clarke sat right up in bed when she heard the name Commander. She looked at Octavia ‘’Here?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
Octavia nodded ‘’Yeah, your girlfriend is here for you’’.  
‘’O, She’s not my girlfriend!’’ Clarke shouted out.  
‘’Ohh I know. But she will be. I mean it’s so obvious’’ She said teasingly.  
‘’No!’’ Clarke said blushing. Of course she liked Lexa, but she was not going to tell everyone about it. Clarke knew her boundaries. She knew Lexa had to be a leader first no matter what.  
‘’Anyway I have to go, Griffin. She’s waiting in the medical bay for you’’ Octavia said before leaving the room.  
Clarke got out of bed and got dressed as fast as she could. She put her hair in a messy bun and headed towards medical bay. It was down the hallway to the left. When she arrived there, she saw two Trikru guards standing before the door.  
‘’I’ve come to see your Commander’’ Clarke said.  
The guards didn’t say a word but let her through. Clarke opened the door and looked around the room until her eyes fell on Lexa sitting on the medical table. Lexa was wearing her normal clothes. This made Clarke realise how young Lexa was. Her features looked like that from a girl, no older than around twenty years old. Clarke mostly saw Lexa in Commander gear but this made her like Lexa even more. In this moment she wasn’t Commander Lexa, but just Lexa. The girl who saved all of her people inside the Mountain.  
Clarke her thoughts got interrupted by Abby who was standing next to Lexa. Treating her old wounds, removing the stitches. ‘’Morning, Clarke’’ Abby said with a smile.  
‘’Morning’’ Clarke said while walking towards the table. Lexa didn’t notice Clarke before, not until Abby said her name. Lexa turned around to see Clarke walking towards her.  
‘’Clarke’’ Lexa said with a smile. ‘’Just give me a moment to finish this up’’ Abby said.  
Clarke and Lexa nodded at the same time.   
When Abby was finished removing the stitches from Lexas wound she said goodbye and left the room to leave the two of them alone.   
Lexa jumped of the table and walked towards Clarke.   
‘’It’s so good to see you’’ She said with a smile. ‘’Same’’ Clarke said.  
‘’I’m sorry it took me some time to get in touch with you. I just had to discuss some matters in the Capital. After that I rode as soon as I could towards Camp Jaha. I’m here to ask you something’’ Lexa said smiling at Clarke.  
Clarke nodded ‘’No problem. I did miss you’’.  
‘’Clarke, would you like to come with me to the capital?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yes! I’d love that’’ Clarke said.

The next day Clarke and Lexa packed all their stuff and mounted their horses for their journey back to Polis. Lexa was sure Clarke was going to love the city. It had something special that she wanted to share with her. Of course there would be some trouble but Lexa knew they could work everything out. She wanted to spent as much time with Clarke as she had. This Clarke, reminded her of the Clarke of her other life. She knew that Clarke was still waiting for her. But Lexa needed to focus on her main goal here, and that was to safe Clarke in the City of Light.

After riding two days too the capital they finally arrived. The guards opened the gates rightaway at the side of the Commander and greeted the both of them. Clarke and Lexa rode through the city. Clarke couldn’t believe her eyes, it was beyond everything she could’ve imagined. Her eyes were fixated on the big skycraper in the center of the city. She turned to Lexa and asked ‘’Who lives there?’’  
Lexa turned around laughing at Clarke ‘’I do’’ she said. ‘’Your chambers will be there too. It’s the safest place in the city’’ Lexa said smiling.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Thank you, Lexa.’’  
‘’Anytime’’ Lexa said. ‘’We should get to the stables it’s getting late.’’

When they arrived at the stables they both mounted of their horses and went to the top floor. Clarke was shown around by Lexa and she loved every second of it. Clarke was impressed by the elevator that worked on human power. When they reached the topfloor Lexa showed Clarke to her chambers.  
She opened a door to a big bedroom. There was a kingsize bed in it covered with furs. Lexa knew this room from the past. She had spent her sometime with Clarke. Well with an angry Clarke. In the time from after the betrayal. But in this universe that never happened so she and Clarke got along better.  
‘’I hope you like it’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Like it? I love it. It’s beautiful’’ Clarke said smiling.  
‘’Good. If you need anything just come to me. I spend most of my time in my chambers or in the throneroom’’.  
‘’Okay, I will. Thank you.’’  
‘’Goodnight Clarke’’ Lexa said before leaving the room.  
‘’Reshop, Heda’’ Clarke said.


	12. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa takes Clarke to see more of Polis. This is where she reveals her plans for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Clarke woke up early the next morning. She was excited that she would be spending the rest of the day with Lexa. She got out of bed and got dressed. Lexa had some guard bring some clean clothes. When Clarke was dressed she walked out of her chambers into the throneroom. Hoping that Lexa would be there.  
Lexa was sitting on the throne when she saw Clarke walking into the throneroom. Lexa stood up from the throne and walked towards Clarke ‘’Goodmorning, Clarke’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’Goodmorning. How are you?’’ CLarke asked smiling at Lexa.  
Lexa nodded at Clarke ‘’I’m feeling much better. It’s been a few weeks since the Mountain but my wounds are healed and the pain is gone. Let me send my guards away so we can spend the day in Polis’’ Lexa said.  
‘’That would be great’’ Clarke said.  
Lexa turned to her guards and commanded them to leave ‘’Leave us. You’re free for today. Except for you Titus. Bring me my cloak’’ Lexa said.  
Titus nodded and left the room along with the other guards heading for the Commanders chambers to get Lexa her cloak.  
‘’So everyone is gone. What do you want to do today Clarke?’’ Lexa asked.  
Clarke was impressed by how Lexa had sent everyone away, ‘’Can you show me more of the city?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes, I can’’.

Titus interrupted them and walked towards the commander ‘’Here’s your cloak’’.  
‘’Thank you Titus. I’ll be spending the day with Clarke. Your job is to train the nightbloods for today’’ Lexa ordered.  
Titus nodded and left the room.

Lexa motioned for Clarke to follow her. They went downstairs with the elevator. Lexa put a cape over her head so no one would recognise her. She just wanted a normal day for once, and she knew she wouldn’t have that if people recognised her as the Commander. She took of her armor except for her sword and grabbed Clarkes arm ‘’Follow me’’ She said winking at Clarke.  
Clarke laughed at the sight of this. She knew it was rare to see Lexa like this. Somehow this made her see the vulnerable side of her. Lexa once had told her that love was weakness and she acted like that in the beginning but nowadays Lexa was so open to her and Clarke liked that a lot.

Lexa took Clarke to the Grounder market. It was very busy. This market was the central trading place in Polis. All the Grounders came here to trade food, supplies etc. Lexa and Clarke walked past the stands until Lexa stopped at a weapon stand. Her eyes were focused on a dagger, it was made from fine metal and looked beautiful. Lexa picked up the dagger to look at it. It had an incription on the blade itself ‘’Osu trou daun ogeda’’ was incripted on it.  
‘’What does that mean Lexa?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa her thoughts were interrupted and she turned around to face Clarke, she was still holding the dagger.   
‘’It means ‘’we fight together’’.  
‘’It’s beautiful’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded and turned around to the merchant behind the stand. ‘’How much do you want for it?’’ she asked.  
‘’What do you have to offer?’’ the girl asked behind the stand.  
‘’Your safety’’ Lexa said stoic.  
The girl laughed sarcastically at Lexa. ‘’Safety. Yeah right. Go away if you don’t have anything to offer’’ she said with an angry voice.  
This made Lexa angry. She grabbed her sword from her side, jumped over the stand and held her sword to the throat of the merchant ‘’Never insult me again’’ she spat out.  
Clarke was surprised by this and was standing frozen in her place. Until she saw the girl behind the stand in total fear. The girl could not be older than her. She looked very young.   
Clarke interrupted ‘’Lexa, let her go’’she said.  
Lexa nodded and put down her sword. The girl dropped to the ground gasping for air.  
Lexa put her sword back at her side before turning around to face the girl. She offered her hand to help her up and the girl accepted it.   
After that she stood across Lexa. ‘’I’m sorry if I have offended you. That wasn’t my intention’’ the girl said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’no worries. Sorry for all that’’ she said. ‘’It’s just that I am not used to people talking to me like that. Usually they are trying to kill me if they speak to me like that’’.  
The girl looked confused at Lexa until she realized who was standing in front of her. She felt embarressed. ‘’Oh my god. You’re the Commander..’’’.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Stt, no one has to know. You see, I’m trying to show this lady around’’ Lexa said laughing.  
The girl laughed and apoligised ‘’I’m so sorry Heda. Please take the dagger as an apology’’.  
Lexa took the dagger graciously and said goodbye to the girl. Clarke followed her to the next stand. She laughed so hard at Lexa. At first always looking fierce, even in disguise, but then she shows how much she really cares.

Clarke followed Lexa to an bench near a statue of one of the former Commanders. When they sat down Lexa turned to Clarke and handed her the dagger ‘’It’s for you. We fight together’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Oh my god, Lexa. Thank you’’ Clarke said with a smile before pulling Lexa in for a hug.  
Lexa hugged Clarke back without any hesitation.   
‘’Clarke, listen to me. I want your people to become my people’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke pulled away from the hug and looked at Lexa ‘’What do you mean?’’ she asked.  
‘’I want the Skaikru to become the 13th clan. Join me. Peace can be our legacy. Blood must not have blood’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke looked at Lexa without saying anything. She leaned in and kissed Lexa.  
Lexa kissed back but interrupted their kiss after a few seconds ‘’It that a yes?’’ She asked confused.  
Clarke nodded and leaned back in. Lexa didn’t hesitate for a second and kissed her right back.


	13. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke prepare for the meeting with Skaikru. In the meantime Lexa tells more about her past to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for typos. Hope you enjoy it. Cheers!

Lexa was happy that Clarke wanted Skaikru to join the coalition. Lexa just hoped everything would turn out okay. She knew that Skaikru wouldn’t just accept the deal Lexa offered them , so she invited Kane and Abby to a meeting in Polis. The meeting would be the next day. But Lexa didn’t want to focus on what could happen tomorrow, she was spending her day with Clarke and she loved every minute of it. Lexa showed Clarke all the stands, until they stopped at a food stand. The Grounder behind the stand was making some kind of soup. He offered Lexa and Clarke and they accepted it thanking him ‘’Mochof’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Mochof’’ Clarke said after her.  
Lexa motioned Clarke to follow her. Lexa lead them to a garden behind the Skyscraper. It was almost empty except for a few grounders who were enjoying their surroundings. Lexa sat down on the grass and Clarke sat down next to her.   
Lexa looked at Clarke and began to talk ‘’This is where I used to come a lot. Before I was called to lead my people. I used to come here with my parents. They were so happy whenever we were here. But they knew, the Commander would take my away from them someday. It happened sooner than they realised’’ Lexa said.  
She stopped for a second toe at some of her soup before she continued ‘’I remember that day well. Titus took me away to the former Commander to begin my training’’.  
Clarke looked interested in the story but was surprised that Lexa knew her parents. Well, atleast they never talked about it. Lexa was so open to her, sometimes it scared her. ‘’How old where you when that happened?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
Lexa looked Clarke right in the eyes before answering ‘’I…I was ten years old when Titus came for me’’.  
‘’10? Wow, you were so young. Did you have any siblings?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’Not that I know off. My parents were young when I was taken away. They could’ve had a child after that. As commander it is forbidden for me to contact my parents. Titus said it would influence me as Commander too much’’.  
‘’I’m so sorry to hear that Lexa. Have you ever been tempted to go look for them?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. I missed them a lot at the beginning. But then I realised that I was born for being the Commander. It was my duty and it came before my family. So yeah, I did. But not anymore. My family got a lot of honor.’’  
‘’Why did they get that?’’  
‘’Because they had me as a child. A nightblood brings honor to every family’’.  
This made Lexa think about her old life. It was so simple, surely she had been in fostercare but she had fosterparents who loved her. She was just a normal girl and here she was this important person that she didn’t even want to be anymore.

They both finished their soups before heading back to the Skycraper. Clarke and Lexa got to the top floor with the elevator. They both said goodbye and went to sleep. The next day would be an important one. Lexa had fallen asleep pretty soon after this. She tried to contact the Commander spirit. In which she succeeded.  
Lexa was in a darkroom again, facing her spirit. She turned around to see some kind of vision. But she didn’t know what it was. Lexa saw a city, it appeared to be a skyline full of skycrapers. It was totaly silent in the room until the spirit began to talk ‘’You’ve done exactly what I told you not too’’.  
‘’I know’’ Lexa said. ‘’But I couldn’t be the same as I used to be. I’m trying to fix everything. Just give me time’’.  
The Commander spirit shook her head ‘’You’ve done better than I expected. You opened yourself up to Wanheda. But don’t forget the mission, you need to save her from the City of Light. This will happen eventually. And after that, you can choose to which life you want to return. To your old life, but you can also stay Heda of the Trikru’’ she said.  
After that the Commander spirit dissapeared and Lexa was left behind in the darkroom.  
She woke up after that, breathing heavingly. She still had no idea what the vision meant that she saw. But she knew she still had to succeed. Lexa looked out of her window and saw that it was already morning so she stood up and wanted to inform her Ambassadors about the meeting with Skaikru. Lexa got dressed and walked to the throneroom.

She opened the door and walked straight to the throne. Titus was standing in the corner of the room, he turned around when he saw the Commander ‘’Goodmorning Heda’’ he said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Morning’’ she said. ‘’We have some bussines to discuss. I’ve invited Skaikru to come for a meeting. I want them to become the 13th clan. Titus, I need you to gather all twelve the Ambassadors. I need them to be here tonight’’ Lexa ordered.  
Titus looked angry at what Lexa just said ‘’Lexa, think about what you’re doing! Your feelings for Clarke put both of you in danger!’’ He spat out.  
Lexa turned around to face Titus. She didn’t want to hear any of his crap. ‘’Enough!!’’ Lexa ordered. ‘’I’m your Commander, and you will do as I say. Now GO inform the others about tonights meeting’’ she ordered.  
Titus nodded and left the room angry.  
Lexa walked to her throne and sat down, she turned to one of her guards ‘’Bring in, Clarke kom Skaikru’’.

Clarke was brought before Lexa by no one other than Indra. Indra couldn’t stand the Skaigirl but she had no choice but to listen to the Commander. ‘’Here’s Clarke as you wished’’ she said before leaving the room to go look for Octavia.  
‘’Clarke, we need to discuss bussines for tonight’’.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Alright, I’m listening’’.   
Lexa continued ‘’My people will only accept Skaikru as the 13th clan if someone becomes their Ambassador. I want you to be that’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Clarke looked confused ‘’why?’’ she asked.  
‘’Because you understand both our people. You’ve been here, spending time with the Grounders. But you also know the Skaikru ways. You are familiar to both cultures. I want this to succeed but I need you’’ Lexa said reassuring. ‘’I wouldn’t have asked you if I would’ve known someone else who could do it’’.  
Clarke nodded ‘’alright I’ll do it. What are you planning to tell your people and my people tonight?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’I’m going to tell them that we need each other. That war between the two people is not needed. There can be peace. We both have suffered enough deaths already. But besides that, their is a new threat to both our people. It’s something we’ve never faced before. I can’t win this upcoming war without your people, and yours can’t win it without mine. We need each other. Now more than ever’’ Lexa said.  
‘’That sounds pretty convincing. But what threat are you talking about?’’ Clarke asked surprised. Not knowing that it would be ALIE and The City of Light that they were going to face.  
‘’Something we’ve never faced before. A threat that could wipe out the entire human race’’.  
‘’I didn’t expect that’’ Clarke admitted.  
‘’I know. It hard to believe but I know it’s coming’’ Lexa said.  
‘’I believe you’’.  
‘’Good. I have to go no but I will see you tonight Clarke’’ Lexa said.  
They both left the rooms prepairing for the meeting.

 

In the other life…

It’s been a few months since Lexa her coma and there was no progress. Clarke had a difficult time dealing with Lexa being in come. But she’d come everyday to read to Lexa. Hoping that she would hear it.  
This day, Clarke was there again. Reading a letter she had written to Lexa, hoping she could hear it.  
‘’Dear Lex,  
I know this is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. But I need to try this. You’ve been in a coma ever since that car accident. Finn did this to you and I blame him for it. I know they say that the hope for you waking up becomes less whenever another day passes but I don’t believe them. They don’t know you like I do. I believe in you. I want you to know that whatever happens, you’re the one for me. It may sounds stupid Lexa. But I’m so madly in love with you and I don’t know what I would do without you. You made my life worth living for. No matter what happened you were always there for me. I just hope that one day, you and I will be together again. I miss you so much. It’s like you’re here but at the same time you’re not. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

Lexa you once told me that you find it hard to feel loved. Love is a tough and rewarding exercise, and there is no exact formula that defines what it means to love. You, who are loving and docile, has however difficulty in loving and being loved.  
The beauty of love is a mystery. When it finally happens what comes to light is a great facility of giving away, and when we know how to give of ourselves, the exchange of love is healthy and sublime. Disclosing love requires art and skill, sensibility and attention.   
Love has to be sowed in a field of trust. Only this way it may be born, and grow, and finally bear fruits. So you should follow the orientation that your immense heart gives you and rely your love on who loves you the most and dedicates you all the attention, concern and affection.   
You have to get rid of your fears, which derive from bad experiences that are long gone... After all, sooner or later it happens with everyone... Let´s build together something firm and beautiful for coloring our lives and days that are yet to come. Forget the fears and pessimistic forecasts, let´s surrender to love.

Did you know that when you travel my heart becomes really lonely? It beats really tight, slowly and sadly, because it can´t stand being away from you... You are the happiness in my life, I suffer a lot when I am obligated to be far away from you; I suffer a lot when I realize you are not near, and will take long to be with me again. I know the circumstances make things be this way. I try to conform myself but I can´t, because every time you go away, it is more evident how dependent I am of your love. I want you back, quickly, very quickly. Don´t let me suffer any longer and come back to my arms and to my love. 

I love you so much, and I hope to see you soon.

Love,   
Clarke 

Clarke finished reading what she had written to Lexa. She had tears in her eyes because she missed her so much. But still refused to give up hope.


	14. We got lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting with Skaikru takes place and Lexa reveals a big secret about Azgeda. Meanwhile Titus doesn't agree with Lexa and Clarke and takes matters into his own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. Sorry for typos. Gonna fix that later. Cheers!

Tonight was the sumup with Skaikru and Lexa was nervous. She hoped that everything would go smoothly. Clarke agreed with her, but they still had to convince the rest of the Skaikru leaders, including Marcus Kane and Abby Griffin. Lexa was pacing around her room.   
‘’Lexa, everything is going to be okay. My mother can be reasoned with. I mean, you saved our people from that Mountain and got hurt yourself’’ Clarke said walking towards Lexa.  
Lexa stood still in her place and shook her head ‘’I’m not sure. What if this goes wrong? My people already think I’m a fool..They can’t think their commander is weak too. They are already doubting my leadership Clarke. Azgeda is trying to make their move as we speak’’ Lexa said worried.  
Clarke looked worried at Lexa, before leaning in for a hug ‘’You can this’’ Clarke whispered in Lexas ear.  
This made Lexa feel whole again. Every moment with Clarke reminded her why she was doing this in the first place. Their love was strong, Lexa was sure of that. It reminded her of their old. Lexa and Clarke had even been together there. Sometimes Lexa wondered how that life was right now, but she couldn’t think about it too much because she had other things to worry about. She just hoped that everything would turn out okay.  
‘’If you say so’’ Lexa said to Clarke before leaning in for a kiss. Clarke kissed back but they were interrupted by Titus who walked in. He seemed angry but tried to hide it. He scoffed ‘’Uhum..Heda. Abby Griffin kom Skaikru and Marcus Kane kom Skaikru have arrived. You’re not even ready’’.  
Lexa pulled away from the kiss and turned around to face Titus ‘’I’ll be there in five minutes’’.  
Titus nodded and wanted to walk out the room but was stopped by Lexa ‘’Titus. Next time, knock’’ Lexa said a bit annoyed.  
‘’Whatever you want Heda’’ Titus said before leaving the room.

‘’Well he is fun’’ Clarke said laughing. Clarke got no reaction from Lexa and saw that she was annoyed but what she just said ‘’Lexa?’’ Clarke asked walking towards her. But Lexa didn’t respond to Clarke. Lexa knew that Clarke couldn’t remember Titus, but she could. This man killed her, and took her away before. Lexa knew that Titus could be a threat to her mission so they had to be careful around them. He had tried to kill Clarke, but shot Lexa in the process and she died instantly. Lexa died on her own bed in a pool of blood. This made her look at the bed, it still haunted Lexa in her sleep. She remembered Clarke saying goodbye to her and kiss her goodbye before she died. Not knowing that they saw each other again a few weeks after in the City of Light. That was their last goodbye and before Lexa knew she was leading this new life in a whole other world, where she was just some girl. She couldn’t remember who she was for so long, but somehow she and Clarke got together anyway.

Clarke tried to get any reaction from Lexa but Lexa didn’t respond to anything. Clarke was worried about Lexa sometimes. Somehow she was fragile, but in the same time a leader of all those people who doubted her leadership because of the love she had for her. ‘’Lexa?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
This time she got a reaction, Lexas eyes moved to Clarkes and they met halfway. ‘’I’m sorry, Clarke. I was daydreaming I guess’’.  
Clarke still looked worried but tried to mask it ‘’Are you okay?’’ she asked.  
Lexa nodded and left the room without saying another word.

Lexa headed towards her clothing room. She opened her closet, it was full of Commander clothes. She had no intention to wear her full Commander gear at the sumup so she took of her shoulderpads and her cloak and stalled them away. After that she put her sword and dagger away and put them down near the rest of her weapons. She had received a lot of weapons as gifts throughout the years she was in Command. But she always used the same dagger, it had been Anyas and it was the last thing she had of Anya. The blade was blunt but she managed well with it. Lexa took of her shirt and pants and grabbed a dress from her closet. It suited well for this night. She put it on along with matching shoes. She walked to a mirror in the room to put her warpaint on. This time not in the shape of tears, but just around. After that she left her room. Her dress revealed her back tattoo that was all over her spine. Lexa made sure Clarke got a dress too for the night. She had send guards to give Clarke her dress.

It was finally time for the sumup and Lexa was already in the throneroom waiting for Clarke to walk in. Clarke had already explained to Kane and Abby what was going to happen tonight and they agreed to it. Clarke would bow to Lexa to become the 13th clan. Lexa knew that the Ice Nation was attacking the Mountain at the same time so she made sure that no one was left in the Mountain. Lexa had sent a few guards the night before to warn all those people who moved in there after the fall of the Mountain. She had moved them to TonDC without telling anyone. Lexa was going to confront the Ice Nation Ambassador tonight. She already knew that he wouldn’t agree to this.  
A grounder began to sing and that was the moment when a door opened and Clarke walked in. She looked beautiful in her grounder dress with Grounder warpaint. Lexa made sure of this, so her people couldn’t complain about the Skaikru looking like the Mountain Men.  
Lexa welcomed everyone and stood up from her throne she motioned for everyone to sit down except for Clarke who was kneeling before her ‘’Welcome Ambassadors from the twelve clans, welcome Skaikru. We’re here tonight to welcome Skaikru into the Coalition’’.  
Titus was standing next to Lexa and looked with despite at her. Lexa looked at him with fierce eyes making sure he wouldn’t do anything stupid. The rest of the Grounders couldn’t believe what their Commander had just said. They didn’t agree with her and stood up from their place. One man in particular didn’t agree. He looked furious at the Commander before he started talking ‘’You can’t be serious, Commander’’ he spat out.  
Titus looked angry at the man his disrespect but Lexa motioned for him to stand down. Lexa walked down the stairs that were in front of the throne, she walked towards him until she was standing right in front of him ‘’You dare question my motives. While you’re queen tried to betray the Coalition’’ Lexa said furious. The man took a step forward ‘’I have no idea what you’re talking about, COMMANDER’’ he spat out. ‘’As you wish. Lexa turned to Indra who was standing in the corner ‘’Bring him in, Indra’’ Lexa ordered.  
Indra nodded at another guard who opened the door. A guard walked in the room with a prisoner. He walked down to the Commander and put the man down on the floor right across the Ice Nation Ambassador. Clarke had moved to Abby and Marcus in the meantime. Lexa looked down at the prisoner before facing the ambassador again ‘’Your queen sent this man to blow up Mount Weather’’ Lexa said angry. ‘’She knew it would kill all the people who lived there’’ Lexa spat out. ‘’This is an act of war’’.  
Everyone in the room looked confused. They had no idea about what was going on. Lexa interrupted the silence and turned towards the other Ambassadors ‘’This man tried to kill our people. You think Skaikru are the Mountain Men, but you refuse to look at Azgeda. They are marching for Polis as we speak. Their Queen doubts my leadership. I know many of you question my decisions as well, but don’t ever think about dubble crossing me. Otherwise you will meet the same fate as these two man’’ Lexa spat out. She then nodded at Indra who was standing next to Octavia. Octavia and Indra walked towards the Commander and they took the ambassador prisoner as well before leading the two Azgeda prisoners out of the room. 

Lexa turned around and faced Clarke ‘’Where were we’’ she said.   
Clarke walked to the front and kneeled down before Lexa who was standing in front of her throne again. Marcus took the brand and after that the Skaikru had become the 13th clan.   
‘’The war meeting is tomorrow’’ Lexa said to the other ambassadors before saying goodbye for the night. 

Clarke had said goodbye to Marcus and Abby for now, she had convinced them that she would be the Ambassador for the Skaikru. Lexa and Clarke were the only ones left in the room. Lexa walked towards Clarke before kneeling down before her ‘’I swear fealty to you Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people’’ Lexa said. Clarke looked down at Lexa, she was surprised by the Commander and caught of guard. Lexa looked at her with hope in her eyes and this made Clarke smile. Lexa refused to stand up until Clarke reached for her hand and helped her up. ‘’Thank you’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke nodded ‘’You’re the one I should say thank you too. You’ve done so much for my people. You were right about Mount Weather. Bellamy and Raven went to check it. They destroyed everything. You saved a lot of people, Lexa. You amaze me everytime’’ Clarke admitted.  
This made Lexa smile ‘’Don’t worry. Just like I said, I won’t betray you Clarke. But we need to watch out for dangers’’ Lexa said worried.  
‘’Dangers?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. Azgeda is marching towards Polis and Titus isn’t to happy with me. He can’t be trusted. So be careful around him, okay?’’  
‘’I will. But not now, I’m tired. I’m off to bed’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Goodnight Clarke’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Reshop, Heda’’ Clarke said before leaving the throneroom. Heading towards her chamber. She walked down the dark hallway. She was caught of guard by some standing behind her door. She froze in her place when she saw Titus in her room, pointing a gun at her.

Lexa was already in her room and had put on some comfortable clothes when she heard someone scream. She heard it coming from down the hallway and didn’t even have to think about who it was. Lexa ran towards her closet to grab her sword and dagger. After that she ran out of her room towards Clarkes. She heard screaming again ‘’DON’T DO THIS. TITUS, PLEASE!’’ Clarke begged.  
‘’You make the Commander weak!’’ He spat out.  
Clarke looked right at Titus who had a gun pointed at her head. ‘’Yu gonplei ste odon’’ he said.  
He wanted to pull the trigger but was stopped, Lexa stabbed him right in the chest with her dagger. He dropped down on the floor screaming out in pain. Clarke looked confused but was relieved to see Lexa. She stood up as fast as she could and grabbed the gun from the floor. She started crying, but Lexa walked towards her and comforted her ‘’You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re fight is not over Clarke’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke looked over Lexas shoulder at Titus who was bleeding from his chest. He looked fearful at her.   
Clarke pulled away from the hug and dried her tears. She sat down on the ground next to Titus. He had lost a blood in the meantime and he was fading away fast. ‘’I know you’re trying to protect her Titus’’ Clarke said. ‘’But she is stronger than you think. Every choice that she made until now has saved a lot of people. Lexa is the reason why my people are still alive’’. Titus still looked Clarke straight in the eyes but he didn’t say a word. Lexa interrupted ‘’He betrayed me’’.  
Clarke nodded before looking at Lexa ‘’I know. But Lexa, if we want to achieve peace we can’t just kill everyone’’. Clarke looked at Titus before grabbing the end of the dagger that was still in his chest. Titus tried to fight whatever Clarke was doing but she tried to calm him down. ‘’I’m not going to kill you’’ Clarke said. Before pulling out the dagger out of his chest carefully. Titus passed out because he lost too much blood. Clarke took of shirt and ripped it apart to stop the bleeding. The wound wasn’t going to kill him if she could stop the bleeding in time. In the mean time Lexa sat down next to Titus at the other side and helped Clarke to stop the bleeding. 

Titus was lying on Clarkes bed when the next morning was already there. Clarke had managed to save him just in time. She stiched up his stab wound. He had regained consciousness but was to weak to fight anyone. Clarke had already left the room to get some breakfast. She was still a bit shaken up about the night before but she would be okay. She knew Lexa saved her life.

In the meantime Lexa walked into Clarkes room to talk to her advisor. She opened the door when he looked at her. Lexa walked towards Titus and stopped at the side of the bed. ‘’You have 20 minutes to pack up your stuff and leave. Never do anything to hurt Clarke again, or I’ll hunt you down and kill you myself’’.  
Titus nodded and without saying a word he stood up from the bed. He strumbled out of the room and left the city without ever showing his face again. Lexa knew she got lucky with how this turned out. She needed a new flamekeeper but she had no idea where to find this one. Until one of her guards came to the discovery that Titus had kidnapped one of the Delinquents. No one other than John Murphy.


	15. Camp Jaha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa arrive at Camp Jaha for a meeting with the Skaikru leaders to talk about the new threat. Clarke notices that Lexa is a bit distant and wants to know why.

Clarke and Lexa were headed towards Camp Jaha the next morning. They had to talk with the leaders of Skaikru to discuss the new threat that was heading towards Polis. Lexa knew that the Ice Queen would come soon to claim that Lexas leadership was wrong. Lexa knew she was going to have to fight her son Roan. Somehow she wasn’t afraid of that, but it was the thought of losing everyone around her that made her want to run away to some place safe, without ever looking back.  
Lexa and Clarke had left early that morning knowing that it was a long ride towards Camp Jaha. Lexa didn’t like the Skaikru culture in the past, but somehow nowadays it reminded her of the old life she had, where she was just a normal teenage girl. Clarke interrupted her thoughts ‘’We’re finally here’’ she said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded and looked at the enormous metal spacestation, or what was left of it anyway. Clarke smiled at the sight of her home. It had been a while for her since she had been here. She had so much to do that she didn’t feel like home anywhere. Somehow that changed after the war. Clarke looked at Lexa, and she noticed that Lexa seemed a bit irritated. But she decided to ignore it and rode towards the gate of Camp Jaha.  
Clarke saw two figures standing at the side of the gate waiting for somehow. Clarke recognised her when she got closer, it was Raven with Bellamy waiting for them. Clarke rode with full speed towards them and when she was close enough she dismounted her horse and jumped into the arms of her friends.   
‘’I’ve missed you guys’’ Clarke said with tears in her eyes from happines.  
Raven laughed at Clarke ‘’Same’’. ‘’Good to see you, princess’’ Bellamy said.  
Clarke nodded and laughed at her friends. She turned around to see where Lexa was. Clarke spotted Lexa far away, sitting on her horse. Somehow Lexa had kept her distance. Clarke had no idea why. She turned to her friends ‘’Give me a second, I’ll go get Lexa’’ Clarke said. Clarke mounted her horse and galloped towards Lexa until she was standing next to her.  
‘’Lexa? Are you coming in? They are waiting for us’’ Clarke said a bit worried.  
Lexa nodded ‘’I’ll follow you’’ she said. Clarke looked at Lexa ‘’Are you okay?’’ she asked.  
Lexa didn’t respond and waved the question away by riding towards the gate. Clarke rode after her towards her friends and dismounted the horse when she reached Raven and Bellamy again. Lexa was already inside the gate and brought her horse to the stables. Clarke followed soon after her.   
When they were done Clarke asked Lexa to follow her towards the meeting ‘’Follow me, Lexa’’ Clarke said polite.  
Lexa followed Clarke into the hallway leading down to the headquarters. Like didn’t feel safe, somehow she had a bad feeling about this place. The last time she was here, she was in medical bay to let Abby take care of her wounds. They walked through another hallway leading towards a door.   
Clarke opened it and Lexa followed her into a room with a table in the middle with chairs around it. Abby, Marcus and Pike were already sitting around the table. They looked at Clarke and Lexa who were standing in the doorway.   
Marcus stood up and greeted them ‘’Welcome. Thank you for coming Clarke. And welcome Commander’’ he said.  
Clarke nodded and walked towards the table to sit down next to her mother. Lexa stood frozen in her place until Marcus pointed at a chair where she could sit down. He sat down next to her and began the meeting ‘’Welcome everyone. We’re here to discuss important mathers. Our commander has something to discuss with us’’. Marcus turned towards the Commander ‘’We’re all yours’’ Marcus said.  
Lexa nodded at Marcus and stood up from her chair to stand in front of the table. ‘’Thank you for coming. You are aware that you are the 13th clan of the coalition. And as my 13th clan I can call upon your army anytime I want. And that might happen soon. The army of Azgeda is marching towards Polis as we speak. The Ice Queen wants to challenge me soon, she’s going to want to take the seat as Commander. She wants Azgeda to rule all the clans. I’m telling you this, because she is dangerous’’ Lexa said.  
The others at the table looked worried at the Commander until Abby interrupted the chattering ‘’We don’t have the people to build an army for your coalition’’ she said.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’Yes we do. Lexa is willing to give us some trainers, so that we will have enough warriors for this threat’’.  
Lexa nodded at Clarke ‘’Yes. I’m sending one of my best warriors Indra towards Camp Jaha as soon I return to Polis. She will train your men and woman who are willing to fight’’.  
‘’That’s great’’ Marcus said. Abby and the rest of the leaders agreed with the plan. 

After two hours the meeting was finished and Lexa had gone to the stables. Clarke noticed that Lexa was distant from her but had no idea why. So she followed her to talk. Clarke found Lexa caressing her horse. Clarke interrupted the silence ‘’Lexa. What’s going on?’’ she asked.  
Lexa didn’t say anything but looked Clarke right in the eyes ‘’Nothing. I’ve got to get back to Polis right away’’.  
Clarke couldn’t believe it, Lexa was totally shutting her out. She shook her head and walked towards Lexa ‘’No don’t this. Don’t shut me out!’’ Clarke said worried. ‘’Tell me what’s wrong’’ She said worried.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’I should go back Clarke’’.  
‘’Are you crazy? Going back in the middle of the night? It’s not safe out there Lexa. Stay for the night, please?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa hesitated at first but saw Clarkes begging eyes so she nodded ‘’alright I’ll stay for the night’’.  
Clarke laughed at Lexa ‘’You’re a pain in the ass, Commander’’ she said jokingly.  
Lexa smiled at this. Clarke always knew how to cheer her up. Being with Clarke made her happy, somehow Clarke was enough for her. Just being with someone made her whole again. This life had reminded her of Costia often. It’s been so long since she found her lover, killed by the Ice Nation. She was delivered at her bed. Titus was with her when she saw Costia, decapitated. In that moment she broke down, she cried for nights. Lexa never wanted Costia to pay for her mistakes but she did. And after that Lexa thought that she would never find love again until Clarke fell from the sky. Ever since then their love was undeniable. Even in her other life, their love was strong. 

Clarke took Lexa to her room for the night. It had been a while since Clarke had slept her. She spended most of her nights in Polis. She liked her room in Polis and it made her feel like home. Clarke motioned Lexa for her to follow through the metal hallways until they reached a door with ‘’C. Griffin’’ on it. Clarke opened the door and walked into her room. It was full of drawings, on the floor, the wall and the ceiling. Clarke turned to Lexa ‘’Well this is my room’’ she said with a smile.  
Lexa was impressed by the drawings around her. They were mostly about earth features, trees, the sky, the forest and even a city with a skycraper. That reminded her of Polis. ‘’These drawings are beautiful’’ Lexa said while pointing at drawings at Clarkes wall.   
‘’Mochof’’ Clarke said with a smile. ‘’I made them before I was sent to prison. You should’ve seen my cell. There are even more drawings in my old prison cell’’.  
Lexa looked shocked at Clarke. ‘’Why were you taken as prisoner?’’ she asked.  
Clarke looked a bit sad at Lexa ‘’The Ark had problems with the oxygen and I found out about it along with my dad. They didn’t want anyone to know about it. Because I was 15 I was sent to prison but my father was an adult so he was floated..My mother betrayed him’’.  
Lexa looked worried at Clarke ‘’I’m so sorry to hear that, Clarke’’ Lexa said, before pulling her in for a hug. Clarke greeted the hug and hugged Lexa back right away. ‘’Thanks Lexa. Now, tell me what was bothering you today?’’ Clarke asked.  
Lexa smiled at Clarke for a second ‘’Well somehow I got reminded of Costia. The Ice Queen killed her so it’s a sensitive subject for me. Even though it has been a long time ago, it still hurts sometimes. That’s why I was so distant. My apologies for that’’ Lexa said.  
‘’No worries’’ Clarke said with a smile before leaning in for a quick kiss. Lexa kissed her back.  
‘’We should get some sleep’’ Clarke said after that. Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. Where can I sleep?’’ she asked.  
Clarke laughed at her ‘’You can sleep in my bed’’ she said with a smile. Lexa nodded and before she knew it she was lying next to Clarke.

Clarke woke up the next morning to see that Lexa had already left her room. Clarke stood up as quickly as possible, got dressed and headed towards the stables where she found Lexa preparing for her ride back to Polis. Clarke looked at her before she said ‘’Goodmorning, what time do we leave?’’ she said jokingly.  
Lexa smiled at Clarke before saddling her horse. ‘’I’m leaving in a few minutes. Just need to finish this up’’ Lexa said while pointed at her saddle.  
Clarke looked confused at Lexa ‘’But what about me?’’ she asked.  
Lexa looked away but answered ‘’You should stay here. It’s where you belong’’.  
Clarke couldn’t believe this. Lexa was just going to leave her behind like she meant nothing to her. ‘’You’ve got to be kidding me?’’ she said in disbelieve. ‘’You’re just leaving me behind?’’.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Yes. It’s better for now. I need to take care of some bussines’’.  
Clarke shook her head. ‘’No way. I’m going with you’’ Clarke said.  
Lexa took a deep breath ‘’Alright.’’  
Clarke laughed at the sight of the Commander babbling about somethings she needed to take care off. ‘’You’re such a pain in the ass’’ Clarke repeated. ‘’You just can’t life without me, can you?’’ Clarke asked jokingly.  
Lexa laughed at Clarke ‘’Clarke. Your legs must be tired because you’ve running through my mind all night’’ she said winking at Clarke.  
Clarke blushed at Lexa and waved it off with a laugh ‘’You wish’’ she said joking.  
The two of them had no idea that Raven had been listening all along ‘’Get a room already’’ Raven said while jumping from behind some kind of box. ‘’I ship it. Just need to figure out a name for the two of you’’. ‘’Hmm..what about Clexa?’’ Raven asked.  
Clarke looked embaressed at Raven. Lexa looked confused at her ‘’What’s a ship? What’s Clexa?’’ she asked.  
Raven laughed at the sight of the two of them. ‘’Figure it out’’ she said before leaving the stables.  
Clarke turned to Lexa and said ‘’well that was a kick. I better get my horse ready for our ride back’’ She said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded, she was a bit distracted by what Raven had just said ‘’A ship?’’ what is that, she thought to herself.


	16. Azgeda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is faced with Ice Queen Nia. She is faced against Roan in a duel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. Sorry for typos! Gonna fix that later. Cheers!

It wasn’t long before the Ice Queen arrived in Polis to turn the Ambassadors of the clans against Lexa. Lexa knew that the Ice Queen wanted Lexa gone, so she could take her place as Commander. She alsno knew that Ice Queen had been hiding another Nightblood, her name was Ontari. She pretended to be the servant of the Ice Queen. Lexa felt a lot of hatred towards Nia, but didn’t let it get the best of her. She fought her pain that was brought up when she knew she was about to face her enemy. Lexa know had to protect Clarke now. She knew how, and she was not about to fail her again.  
Lexa was sitting on the throne when Nia walked in. She walked straight towards the throne. Nia interrupted a war meeting, with all the ambassadors. The Ice Queen looked around the room until her eyes stopped at Clarke, who was sitting in one of the Ambassadors chairs.   
Lexa stood up from her throne ‘’Nia’’ she spat out in anger.  
Nia found this amusing and started to laugh ‘’Well if it isn’t the girl who thinks she can conquer the world’’ Nia said sarcastically.  
‘’Watch yourself, Nia’’ Lexa said calm. She knew Nia was going to challenge her for a duel, so she was prepared for it. Lexa had been training for this fight even since she had returned to this life.  
Nia turned to Clarke ‘’How dare you sit there? Act like you’re one of use. When you’re clearly not. You’re just Skaikru’’ Nia spat out.  
Clarke looked confused and looked at the Commander ‘’Commander, what is this?’’ she asked.  
Lexa looked at Clarke for a second before she turned to Nia. ‘’Why did you come here? Lexa asked.  
‘’I’ve come here to make an unanimous vote of no confidence. Your Commander has been thinking about nothing but herself’’ Nia said.  
‘’Commander?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
Lexa looked at Clarke again and gave her a nod so she wouldn’t have to worry about her.  
‘’We all know what you want, Nia’’ Lexa spat out. Lexa wanted to drive her sword through this womans heart but she knew she had to this another way.  
‘’I dare you to challenge me’’ Lexa spat out walking towards Nia. Nia laughed at Lexa because this was exactly what she wanted ‘’Alright. I challenge you to a duel Commander’’ Nia spat out.  
Lexa walked back to her throne and sat down before she spoke ‘’And I accept your challenge. Who will fight for you?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’I choose my son. Prince Roan of Azgeda’’ Nia said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Alright. I’m Commander, no one fights for me. Now leave. All of you’’ Lexa ordered.  
As everyone left the throneroom, Clarke stayed behind alone with Lexa. She walked towards Lexa who was sitting on her throne. Clarke kneeled down before Lexa trying to talk some sense into her ‘’Lexa, please. Don’t do this’’ Clarke begged.  
Lexa looked down right in Clarkes eyes. She saw the worry in her eyes. But Lexa knew this had to be this way. The Ice Queen was going to die anyway. Or atleast, that was what happened in the past. Lexa didn’t know how this was going to go. She was badly injured after Mount Weather and was still recovering from it.   
‘’Clarke. I can’t stop this. This has to be this way. Just trust me’’ Lexa said reassuring.  
‘’Like hell I do’’ Clarke said before she stood up and left the room. Lexa looked worried as Clarke walked away from her but she knew that this was the only way to defeat Nia forever. She owed this to Costia, but above that she owed this to Clarke too. Lexa knew that Clarke was going to try something stupid so she had sent Octavia after her, to distract until the fight.

It was the same afternoon that the duel was taking place. Everyone had gathered around the battleground. Lexa was still in her chambers, trying to seek answers from her old spirit. Lexa closed her eyes and tried to connect with the Flame. It wasn’t long until she was in the blackroom again. She turned around to face the Commander.   
‘’I need your help’’ Lexa said. ‘’She’s slipping away from me. I am trying to save everyone, but Clarke doesn’t understand’’.  
The Commander spirit faced Lexa ‘’Whatever happens next is with a reason. Clarke doesn’t understand because she doesn’t remember like you do. No one does, except for you. That will be your greatest pain in this life. You’re faced with choices. Your mission is to save Wanheda from the City of Light. Not being close with Clarke. Remember that, Lexa’’ the spirit spoke before disappearing into the darkness.  
Lexa was left alone in the darkroom. A few seconds after that she opened her eyes and she was back in her chambers interrupted by someone who was knocking on her door.   
‘’Come in’’ Lexa said.  
The door opened and Indra walked into the room with Octavia. ‘’Heda. We’ve got her. We made sure the didn’t speak to anyone’’ Indra said.  
Lexa nodded and motioned for them to leave her chambers ‘’Leave me’’ she said. ‘’We will. But Clarke wanted us to give you this’’ Octavia said before walking over towards Lexa. Octavia handed over a package before leaving the room with Indra.

Lexa unraped the package. She was surprised to see the dagger that she had given Clarke at the market a few days ago. There was a note in the box from the dagger ‘’ Osu trou daun ogeda’’ said the note. Lexa knew it was from Clarke so she decided to use this dagger in her duel with Roan.  
Lexa stood up and walked towards her closet. She put on her battle armor and grabbed her best sword after that before heading towards the battlefield. Lexa had put the dagger at her side. 

Everyone had gathered to see the fight between the Commander and the Prince of Azgeda. Lexa remembered this fight the last time. She almost got killed, but because of her speed she dodged the blows from Roan just in time. The fight was about to start and Lexa was about to Roan until she stood frozen in her place. She looked surprised at Clarke who was standing right in front of her in the middle of the crowd ‘’Goodluck’’ she said. Lexa was about to thank Clarke until she was interrupted.  
‘’Behind you Lexa!’’ Clarke shouted at her.  
Lexa turned around. She saw Roan charging at her with full speed. He carried a sword in his hand. He looked determined to kill Lexa. His looks were deadly and cold as ice. Lexa pulled out her sword and turned around just in time to dodge his attack.

More attempts to attack her followed. Roan was angry and wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. Lexa backed away from him, wide eyed, heavy breathing. ‘’Run from me while you can’’ Roan spat out in anger. Clarke looked at Lexa worried that she wouldn’t make it. But Lexa didn’t hesitate for a second before she spook again ‘’Never’’ she spat out. Before charging at him with full speed. Lexa knew that their was no way back. She knew where she was fighting for. Lexa dodged Roans sword and jumped around him and circled around him before closing in. She took his left side and sliced with one blow right through his upper arm. 

Roan screamed out in pain before pulling himself together again. Blood was dripping from his upper arm. Lexa had already pulled out her sword and was standing in front of him again. Her sword was red from his blood. The crowd around them was in total silence. Roan hesitated for a second, sending glances back and forth with his mother. Attack or retreat, he didn’t know what to do. Lexa looked confused at Roan she tried to charge at him, but this time he was faster than her and dodged her attack. Roan kicked Lexa in the stomach, that led to her falling on the ground. Roan ran towards Lexa and charged with all power at Lexa, aiming for her heart. But he missed, Lexa rolled on her side to dodge his attacks. She was a fast young girl. He’d give her that. Roan hit Lexa in her leg. Lexa knew he was trying to kill her. But Lexa wasn’t about to die. She grabbed her knife from her side and wrenched herself loose from his grip. Lexa backed away, clutching a long cut on her leg. ‘’I’m not hurt’’ she said to herself. Before standing up to look for her sword. Roan was distracted by her unexpected moves but was charging at her again with full speed. Lexa saw her sword, but it was lying behind Roan.

Lexa grabbed her knife in her hand and charged with full speed at Roan. She dodged his attacked and tackled him down. He fell down on the ground. She was about to kill him when she noticed that the Ice Queens chair was emtpy. Lexa searced the crowd for Queen Nia. She didn’t see her until her eyes reached Clarke. She saw the Ice Queen heading towards Clarke.

Lexa didn’t think for a second. She pulled back her sword from Roan. He stood up but she shoved him back onto the ground ‘’Stay down’’ she spat out. Roan looked confused but listened to Lexa.   
Lexa saw the Ice Queen nearing Clarke so she ran as fast as she could towards Clarke. Lexa shoved everyone aside until she had Nia in her sight. She shoved Clarke behind her. Protecting her from Nia. 

Lexa grabbed a sword of one of the nearby guards and threw it towards Nia. ‘’Fight me’’ She spat out in anger at Nia. Nia didn’t hesitate for a second and grabbed the sword from the ground.

Lexa looked at Nia who was standing across her. With her sword ready to fight. ‘’Now that’s more like it’’ Lexa said with a grin. She turned to Clarke ‘’Clarke get back to the crowd. This is not your fight’’ Lexa ordered. Clarke tried to resist but Indra took her back along with Octavia. 

Lexa was now standing across her enemy. Roan was still down on the ground. Nia charged at Lex and she caught her of guard. Nia got Lexa on the ground in no time, she tried to push Lexa down with her sword and was able to make sure Lexa lost her sword. Nia wanted to finish it, but Lexa held Nias sword from her chest with her bare hand. Blood flooded out of her hand, while she was fighting for her life. Lexa forced her mind to focus on the fight. She wasn’t going to hold this for much longer so she tried so look for Nias weak spot. Lexa found it and kicked Nia right on her knee. This made Nia back away so Lexa got up and backed away from Nia. She was surprised when someone grabbed her and held a knife to her throat. ‘’Roan’’ Lexa spat out, almost choking from his grip. Lexas last knife was in her boot. Not for fighting from a distance. But for up close. Lexa forced herself down and grabbed the knife from her boot. Lexa caught Roan off balance and drove her knife through a gap in the leather from his armor right into his upper chest. Lexa was locked, face to face with Roan. Outrage and disbelief pulsed out at him and drained away before his eyes went bank before he dropped on the ground. 

Lexa had no time to think about what just happened. She backed away from Nia who was charging at her. Lexa fell down, dodged a sword, and rolled away over the ground as she tried to take down Nia. Nia had Lexa in her grip, but Lexa tore herself loose and left her Cloack behind. She had a split second to look up and see the face of Nia. Nias face was full of anger. Nia stabbed Lexa, right in her arms as Lexa was defending herself from the Ice Queen. Lexa tried to get up from the ground but she slipped on the rainy ground. Lexa fell down again. She tried to get up but she couldn’t. Nia stabbed her in her side. Lexa was huddled on her side, covered with blood and mud. Her battle armor was torn halfway off her. Her hand lay upcurled, open to the falling rain. Awaiting her death, that seemed so close until. She looked up to see Nia dropping on the ground, blood flooding out of her throat. Lexa looked up to see Roan standing behind her. Watching his mother die. 

Lexa was still lying on her side. Unable to get up on her own. Roan was walking towards her with a knife in his hand, aiming at the Commander. Lexa was afraid this was her end, she looked at the knife, and recognised it. It was the knife she gave to Clarke. ‘’Clarke’’ Lexa thought to herself. Lexa turned her face to search for Clarke in the crowd. She saw Clarke being held down by Octavia and Indra, as she was trying to get to Lexa. Lexa tried to look Clarke in the eyes ‘’I’m sorry’’ she whispered in herself. Before looking at Roan who was standing above her. He looked in pretty bad shape. Lexa gave herself over and was ready to die. But to her surprise Roan dropped the knife next to Lexa and reached out his hand to help Lexa up. Lexa grabbed the knife from the Ground before she grabbed his hand. Roan helped her up. Roan turned towards Lexa ‘’End it’’ he said. Lexa had a chance to kill him in a heartbeat, but she didn’t want to be like this so she shook her head ‘’No’’. Lexa could barely stand but she motioned for the crowd to be silent ‘’Queen Nia of Azgeda is dead. Long live the King!’’ Lexa shouted out before turned towards Roan ‘’The Ice Nation is all yours’’ she said before strumbling back towards the crowd. It didn’t take Clarke long to reach her. Clarke ran towards Lexa and helped her get back to Lexas chambers.


	17. The struggle of reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa struggles with her injuries after the duel with Roan. Clarke helpes her. Some kisses, dreams and an I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is about Lexa struggling with everything she has to deal with. Lexa is worried about the choices she had to make and she hopes that everything turns out right. I think this story will have about 25 chapters, so I'm getting towards the ending slowly. The next chapter will be about the other life. Some flashbacks about the break-up etc.
> 
> Sorry for typos :)

Lexa passed out on the way back to her chambers. Clarke got some help from other guards and brought Lexa back to her bed. Clarke knew Lexa got lucky. Her wounds were pretty bad and she could’ve died. Clarke made sure Lexa’s wound were treated before they brought the Commander to her bed.

The next day Clarke was sitting next to Lexa’s bed when she woke up. Lexa sat up straight in her bed. She had a pretty bad nightmare. Some pieces of her memory came back from her old life, she remembered crossing the street before she got hit by a car. Well atleast, that’s all she could remember right now. Clarke brought Lexa back to reality when she interrupted the silence “You could've gotten yourself killed!” Clarke said in a panick tone. She was worried about Lexa who got hurt in the duel against Roan.  
Lexa looked at Clarke before speaking “Clarke, I knew what I was doing. If I would have died it wouldn’t have mattered because I told you that my spirit would choose wisely” Lexa said, whilst she sat down on her bed waiting for Clarke to bandage her wounds. Lexa got hurt pretty bad. She had cuts all over her body, but the wound on her side hurt the most. Nia inflicted her pain all over again, but Lexa was able to get her revenge all over again. She made the right choice by letting Roan go. He was a wise man and she knew that from the past. 

Clarke knew that the wounds needed to be rebandaged. Clarke grabbed a rag out from her bag that she carried with her and sat down next to Lexa “Do you ever talk about anything else than your death?” She asked with a grin.   
Lexa looked at Clarke and smiled at Clarke “Yeah I think about my future” she said emberassed.  
“What do you want in the future?” Clarke asked. Lexa stared longing at Clarke “I want to be more than just a leader. I want to have a family. But above I want to peace for all of our people”.   
“That’s beautiful” Clarke said. Clarke took Lexa’s hand and wipped the blood away from her hand. After that she put part of the rag around Lexa her hand and bandaged it around the hand.  
“Mochof Clarke” Lexa said. Lexa was greatful for all the help she got from Clarke.   
Lexa tried to get up, but the pain was too much so she sat down again. Clarke looked worried at Lexa ‘’You need to get some sleep. You’re hurt pretty bad. I’ll come by in a few hours’’ Clarke said when she was about to walk away until she was stopped by Lexa who grabbed her wrist ‘’Please don’t go. Stay with me’’ Lexa begged her. Clarke nodded at Lexa and turned around ‘’Okay I’ll stay’’ she said with a smile. ‘’Let me just grab a chair’’ Clarke said. Lexa shook her head ‘’You can lay next to me if you want’’ she said a bit embaressed. ‘’So that’s how you get a girl in bed with you’’ Clarke said with a chuckle.   
‘’Well it’s part of my charm’’ Lexa said laughing. Clarke walked to the other side of the bed and lay down next to Lexa. She turned to her side so she faced Lexa. Clarke looked straight into Lexa’s green eyes before she leaned in and kissed Lexa. Lexa kissed her back and for a second she got sucked away from reality into a whole other world where she didn’t feel any pain, she just felt loved by the girl she had fallen in love with. This stopped when the door opened and Indra walked into the room ‘’Heda, there’s something for you’’ she said worried.  
Lexa pulled away from the kiss and tried to get out of bed. She struggled to get on her feet but managed to stand for a few second. She turned to Indra ‘’Let me see’’ she ordered.

Two guards walked into the room with a chest. They walked past Indra towards the middle of the room. Clarke had gotten out of bed as well and stood next to Lexa to help her stand up. ‘’Open it’’ Lexa ordered.  
The guards opened the wooden chest, revealing no one other than Titus. ‘’A gift from King Roan’’ Indra said.   
Lexa looked confused at Titus before she motioned for one of the guards to free him ‘’Free him’’ she said with a serious tone. Lexa looked the man straight in the eyes who had killed her in the past. She knew that he was no good, but honestly she needed his advice. He was the only one who knew a lot about ALIE and the city of Light. Something that Lexa knew that was coming soon. One of the guards helped Titus up and cut him loose. Indra turned to Titus ‘’Don’t you dare hurt her’’ she spat out before leaving the room.   
Titus nodded at Indra before looking at the Commander, who was standing before him. She looked hurt. He noticed that she could barely stand, let alone fight him. ‘’Heda’’ Titus said before bowing down.  
‘’Titus. Stand up, we have a lot to talk about. I need your help’’ Lexa said.  
Titus stood up and faced his Commander. ‘’Whatever you need Heda’’ he said.  
‘’You can’t be serious Lexa! He betrayed you. He captured John Murphy’’ Clarke spat out angry. Clarke didn’t understand Lexa, she was setting a man free who had done so many bad things to both of them. ‘’Clarke, leave us’’ Lexa ordered before sitting down on her bed, no longer able to stand.  
Clarke scoffed at Lexa and Titus and left the room angry.

‘’Titus. I need your guidance. There’s a threat coming towards all of us and I can’t face it alone. There’s something I haven’t told anyone before. What I am about to tell you seems crazy, but you just need to hear it’’ Lexa said.  
Titus stood across from Lexa and nodded at her ‘’I’m listening Heda’’.  
‘’Titus. I was brought here to save Clarke from the City of Light. I know this might sounds crazy but I’ve been through this before’’.  
‘’What do you mean, Heda?’’ Titus asked confused.  
‘’The flame. It made me come back to this life’’.  
‘’It did what?’’ Titus asked surprised. He had heard stories about the Flame that could communicate with the Commander as a spirit guide but thought that it were just stories. Until now. He realised that the Flame was connected to Lexa through all of her lifes, because Lexa’s spirit is part of the Flame. When needed, it communicates with the spirit from the Commander and brings them back to their old life. ‘’Tell me more about it, Heda’’ Titus said.  
Lexa nodded ‘’In my past life you killed me Titus. You said that my feelings for Clarke put me in danger so you tried to kill her, but shot me instead. That’s why I couldn’t risk you messing things up this time.’’  
Titus couldn’t believe what the Commander just said to him. ‘’You’re right. Your feelings put both of you in danger’’ he said sarcastically. ‘’Let me finish this now’’.   
‘’BAM’’ a gunshot was heard before someone fell on the ground. Lexa looked at the doorway and saw Clarke lying on the ground. Somehow she got out of her bed and ran towards her. Lexa craddled Clarke in her arms and tears streamed down her face ‘’Don’t leave me’’ she begged. ‘’Please, Clarke. I love you. Come back to me’’.

‘’Hey, hey. Lexa, it’s okay’’ Clarke said reasurring. Lexa opened her eyes and sat up on her bed. She looked to her side and looked straight at Clarke. ‘’It was just a bad dream’’ Clarke said worried. She caressed Lexa before leaning in for a quick kiss. ‘’We were asleep, but I woke up when I heard you crying in your sleep’’.  
‘’It was a horrible dream. I lost you in my dream’’ Lexa whispered. Clarke looked at Lexa and saw the worry in Lexas eyes. So Clarke cupped Lexas face before she said ‘’You will never loose me’’ before leaning in for another kiss. The warmth of Clarke around her made everything so much better for Lexa. Clarke gave her the will to fight for her life. 

A few weeks passed by and Lexa recovered from her wounds pretty quickly. She and Clarke had become even closer after that night. Lexa had those weird dreams a lot lately. And she had no idea what they meant. Lexa didn’t know what happened to Clarke in the past. She didn’t know because she died. But if Lexa returned to her old life, she might found it out, before she ended up in the City of Light with Clarke. She knew that time would come soon.


	18. No one is to blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in the other life where Clarke deals with missing Lexa everyday. Some flashbacks explaining their break-up etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this chapter is kinda long compared to the others. But I wanted to give some background story about their past.  
> Sorry for typos ;) hope you enjoy it.
> 
> The song used in the flashback is No One from Alicia Keys.
> 
> Cheers.

** The other life.. **

‘’Clarke, wake up. It’s time to go to school’’ Abby said calmly to her daughter who hadn’t been the same since Lexa’s accident. Abby knew how much Lexa had meant to Clarke in the past. She also noticed that the two of them had been spending a lot of time together before the accident.

Clarke opened her eyes to see her mother sitting on the edge of her bed. ‘’Just a minute’’ Clarke said mumbling before turning around. Clarke didn’t want to go to school.  
‘’Clarke you don’t have a few minutes. You’re already to late so get your lazy ass out of bed’’ Abby said a bit irritated, before standing up and leaving Clarke alone in her bedroom.

Clarke sighed before she got up. ‘’Whatever you want’’ she said after Abby had been long gone. Clarke looked at her phone, she had 5 missed calls. Probably from Raven or Octavia. Ever since Lexa was in a come, she grew closer with the two of them. They had become her friends and honestly she was greatful for that because she knew she had changed a lot. Clarke picked up her phone and dialed Octavia.  
‘’I didn’t know if you were dead or alive’’ Octavia said laughing through the phone.  
‘’Very much alive though’’ Clarke said deadly serious. ‘’So what are all those missed calls about, O?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’The party tonight….’’ Octavia said.  
‘’What party?’’ Clarke asked confused. She didn’t remember any party, but how could she. She had spend to much time drinking the pain away.  
‘’Seriously Griffin? The party at The Gustus Bar..’’ Octavia said irritated ‘’You’re coming with us, right?’’ Octavia wondered.  
Clarke didn’t want to go but she didn’t want to dissapoint her friends ‘’Yeah of course. I’ll see you guys tonight’’ Clarke said before hanging up the phone. She stood up from her bed and walked out of her room to get ready for school.

Clarke’s day went as the usual. To much time at school, too much homework and as always the worried teachers, who thought Clarke didn’t give it all at school. Not realising Clarke missed Lexa, everyday, more and more.

Clarke went home after school and got ready for the party that night. Clarke didn’t want to go to Gustus Bar, but today was even worse for her. Today was the day, she and Lexa broke up two years ago. It reminded her of everything she had lost. Lexa, her dad, and of course most of her friends except for Octavia and Raven.

Time past quickly and the bell rang downstairs. Clarke herself was staring at a picture of her and Lexa, which she got from Lexa, just a few days before the accident. Her thoughts got interrupted by her mother ‘’Clarke? Octavia and Raven are here. Are you coming?’’ Abby asked, calling Clarke, who was upstairs.

Clarke walked out of her room down the stairs into the hallway when she saw her two friends standing at the door. ‘’Are you ready?’’ Raven asked with a big smile on her face.  
Clarke nodded and walked out of the door towards the car they were going with.  
‘’Be careful and have fun girls’’ Abby said with a smile. ‘’Bye mrs. Griffin’’ Raven said before walking after Clarke to the car. Clarke had already taken a seat. Raven got in to and Octavia drove away.

About 15 minutes later the girls arrived at the bar. Clarke hadn’t said a word the whole ride. Her thoughts were somewhere else entirely. Octavia parked the car a few 100 metres away from the entrance. Clarke stared out of the window, looking at the name sign of the bar. It was in Neon lights, all flashy and stuff.

 

_Three years ago.._   
_‘’We’re here’’ Lexa said with a smile before parking the car in front of a building._   
_Clarke turned towards the brunette and looked straight into the beautiful green eyes, those always made her smile ‘’Where are we?’’ Clarke asked laughing._   
_‘’At a very special place’’ Lexa said over confident. ‘’I am pretty sure you’re going to like it.’’_   
_‘’Well if you are sure, then you must be right’’ Clarke said teasingly. Lexa laughed at Clarke before getting out of the car. Clarke wanted to get out of the passengers seat but Lexa was faster than her and ran towards her door. ‘’Let me’’ Lexa said with a smile, before opening the door for Clarke. She reached out for Clarke’s hand, and Clarke accepted it with a smile on her face ‘’You’re such a lady’’ she said teasing. ‘’I know right’’ Lexa said with a smile, before closing the car door and escorting Clarke towards the bar._

_Lexa opened a door revealing a small pub, there were candles everywhere. It had such a romantic side, there was a small bar in the corner, in the middle a few tables and in the corner a small podium. One table in particular stood out in the room. Lexa led Clarke down to the table and helped her sit down before she sat down herself._   
_‘’I hope you like it’’ Lexa said with a smile._   
_‘’Like it?’’ Clarke smiled ‘’I love it’’. Clarke blushed at Lexa ‘’Did you do all of this for me?’’ She asked._   
_Lexa nodded a bit emberassed ‘’Yes. I wanted our first date to be special’’ she admitted._   
_‘’It’s wonderful Lexa. No one has ever done anything like this for me. It means so much’’ Clarke said with a smile._   
_‘’Well you are a pretty special girl, Clarke Griffin’’ Lexa said with a smile._

‘’Uhm..Clarke? Are you coming?’’ Octavia asked.  
‘’Oh yeah. Sorry I was daydreaming I guess’’ Clarke said before getting out of the car. Walking the same way to the bar like all those years ago.  
The girls walked into the bar and headed towards the dancefloor. The bar is not like it was before, it was more of a dance club now. After the death of Gustus, Lexa’s uncle, someone bought the bar and turned it into a nightclub.

Clarke walked towards the bar to get a drink. ‘’One shot of Tequila please’’ she said to the bartender. ‘’I.D. Please? He asked. Clarke grabbed her wallet from her purse, lucky for her she had a fake I.D nowadays, Alexandria Carter was the name on her I.D. She showed the I.D. to the bartender and put it away in her purse. ‘’Here’s your drink’’ he said friendly before walking to the other side of the bar. Clarke sat down on the barstool, watching her friends dance with some strangers.  
She swallowed the tequila away in one swig, before ordering another one. Her friends were to busy anyway.

Minutes, turned into hours and Clarke got pretty drunk. She was babbling to some girl who had been sitting next to her all night, listen to whatever drunk talk she had. Octavia had left along with Lincoln, who showed up sometime in the evening. Raven had gone to some booth with some guy. The girl next to her started talking ‘’So, Clarke. Do you always get this drunk?’’ she asked a bit worried.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’NAAAAHH’’ She said drunk, whilst she almost fell of the stool. The girl next to her caught her just in time. ‘’BARTENDER, ANOTHERR ONEEEEEE..!’’ Clarke said while burping. ‘’Maybe you shouldn’t drink another one’’ the girl said worried. Clarke shook her head ‘’’NOO. I WANT ONE’’ she yelled in the girls ear. ‘’Clarke, I’m serious’’ The girl said next to her. Clarke didn’t listen and swallowed down another shot. The tequila made her throat burn, but somehow it distracted her from the mental pain she had, from missing Lexa. Clarke ordered another shot, she tried to swallow this one down to but was stopped by the girl next to her. ‘’Clarke stop it’’ the girl said, somehow with a familiar voice. Clarke hadn’t really bothered to pay any attention to the girl before, but she somewhere she knew this voice. Clarke looked at the girl, still confused from the drinking, but she managed to recognise her right away. Clarkes voice turned bitter ‘’Costia’’ she spat out.

_Costia leaned in, just a few inches away from Lexa’s lips. Lexa had told no to Costia, but she was pretty determined to win Lexa for herself. Lexa turned her face away ‘’ I can’t do this. I love Clarke’’ she said with a serious. ‘’I’m not going to hurt her’’ Lexa whispered._   
_Costia nodded ‘’I understand’’. ‘’Whatever we once had, was gone the minute I left town, wasn’t it?’’ she asked, holding back her tears._   
_‘’I’m sorry Costia. I always thought it be you, if you returned. But Clarke makes me feel alive. I love her’’ Lexa said sincerly. ‘’I did love you once’’._   
_‘’I know’’ Costia said with a sad tone in her voice. ‘’I’ll back off’’ she said._   
_Lexa thanked Costia, because she knew how much pain she must have been in ‘’Thank you. I never meant to hurt you’’._   
_‘’I know, Lex’’ Costia said before leaning in for one last kiss. Lexa kissed back for a second._   
_‘’Lexa?!’’ Clarke said in disbelieve at the sight of her girlfriend kissing, her so called ‘’best friend’’, holding back her tears. ‘’Why?’’ Clarke cried out. Lexa pulled away from the kiss, pushing Costia away. Taking a few steps to Clarke, but Clarke took a few steps back. ‘’Clarke, wait’’ Lexa said, pleading for her to listen. But Clarke shook her head, turned around and left without saying another word, leaving Costia and Lexa behind._

_Clarke ran as fast as she could towards Finn, a friend she had gotten close with over the past few months. He had been her tutor for math. Somehow they had a lot in common and started to hang out sometimes. ‘’Ding dong’’ Clarke rang the bell._   
_The door opened a few seconds later, showing Finn in his Pjs. ‘’Clarke?’’ he asked confused, while looking at her. Clarke was still crying and could barely say a word. Clarke walked into his house and sat down on his couch in his livingroom. Finn sat down next to her, still worried ‘’Clarke, what’s wrong? He asked._   
_Clarke shoved her head into her knees, still crying ‘’Leeeexxaa’’ she mumbled. ‘’Lexa?’’ Finn asked confused. Clarke tilled up her head, and nodded ‘’Yes’’ she said while crying._   
_‘’What’s up with Lexa?’’ Finn asked curious._   
_Clarke tried to hold back her tears ‘’I saw Lexa just a few minutes ago..Kissing Costia’’ Clarke said, whilst her tears were back._   
_‘’Oh, Clarke. I’m so sorry’’ Finn said worried, before pulling her in for a hug. Clarke was almost entirely silent for the rest of the evening, not knowing what to say. She spent the night with Finn, he listened to her when she needed help. Her phone on silence, not wanting to hear all the calls and messages from her girlfriend._

_Clarke woke up the next morning, asleep on a couch. She looked around the room, scanning to see where she was. Until she noticed that she wasn’t alone. Finn was asleep next to her, with his arms around her. Clarke tried to get out of his arms, and stood up from the couch, grabbed her coat, and left the house as soon as she could. When she was down the street, Clarke grabbed her phone, to see 9 missed calls, and 20 text messages. Clarke looked at the time and noticed that it was time for school. She just wanted to let her mom know that she was okay so dialed her number ‘’Clarke!?’’ Abby asked worried at the other end of the line._   
_‘’Yes. Sorry mum, I got held up last night so I spent the night at a friends house. I’m heading for school now. I’ll see you tonight’’._   
_‘’I was worried, Clarke. But I’m glad to hear that you’re okay. I’ll be late tonight, but Marcus will be home and make diner for the two of you’’ Abby said friendly._   
_‘’Okay. I have to go now. I’m at school. Bye’’ Clarke said before hanging up her phone._

_Clarke avoided Lexa for the rest of the day and went straight home after school. She didn’t want to bother anyone with what had happened last night. But Clarke was caught of guard, when she walked towards her house._

_Lexa was sitting on the front porch of Clarke’s house., waiting for Clarke. She knew Clarke would be pissed that she went behind her back, but Lexa had no choice, she wanted to explain herself to Clarke. She didn’t want to lose Clarke._   
_‘’GET OUT’’ Clarke spat out._   
_Lexa got up and walked towards Clarke, trying to calm her down ‘’Clarke please’’ Lexa begged._   
_Clarke shook her head, she tried to hold back her tears ‘’Don’t’’._   
_Clarke wanted to walk away, but was stopped in her tracks ‘’Please, let me atleast explain’’._   
_Clarke didn’t want to hear any of it. But turned around anyway to face Lexa. She was crying but tried to hold herself together as much as she could ‘’Why?’’ Clarke spat out._   
_Lexa took a few steps back, trembling on her legs from her nerves ‘’I didn’t kiss her Clarke. She kissed me..’’ Lexa said._   
_Clarke laughed at Lexa and scoffed at her ‘’Yeah right’’._   
_‘’Clarke, please listen to me for a second. After that you can do whatever you want, but please let me explain’’._   
_Clarke sat down on the steps in front of her house, across from Lexa, who was standing still. ‘’I’m listening’’ she scoffed._   
_‘’Costia and I dated before I met you. I didn’t tell you because I knew how you’d react. It wasn’t your burden to bare’’ Lexa tried to explain._   
_‘’But I did bare it, didn’t I? Clarke said, whilst trying to pull herself together. ‘’I had no idea what it was’’._   
_‘’And for that I am sorry. I knew that I should’ve told you. Costia came back in town, a few months ago. I know that I told you she was my best friend. I thought she was over me, like I am over her. But apparently she wasn’t. I told her that I couldn’t do this because I loved you, but she caught me of guard and she kissed me’’._   
_‘’Don’t’’ Clarke said crying ‘’Don’t act like this is just her fault, I know you Lexa. I saw it. You kissed her back’’._   
_‘’Only for a second, she caught me of guard and it was familiar for me, safe. But she’s not you’’ Lexa said, begging for Clarke to understand._   
_‘’I am so sorry Clarke’’ Lexa said, holding back tears as well. ‘’You should leave’’ Clarke said crying._   
_Lexa nodded at Clarke, she was in tears as she said her last words ‘’Please forgive me’’ Lexa said as she left._   
_Clarke looked at her girlfriend as she walked away from her. ‘’I’m sorry’’ Clarke said, with tears in her eyes._

Clarke tried to take a swing at Costia who was sitting next to her, but she missed and hit her fist on the bar. ‘’AAUCH’’ Clarke screamed out. ‘’F*CK’’ she cursed way to loud. ‘’Easy there, Clarke. I am not here to fight you’’ Costia said trying to calm her down. Clarke cursed a few more words, before she calmed down a bit. ‘’Right’’ Clarke scoffed.  
‘’I know we’ve had our difficulties in the past Clarke. But that’s the past with a reason’’.  
‘’Difficulties’’ Clarke scoffed again ‘’You kissed my girlfriend’’ she said angry.  
Costia nodded ‘’Yes I did. But that’s so long ago. I don’t want to live in the past anymore Clarke. How are you two doing anyway?’’ Costia asked curious.  
‘’I broke up with Lexa about two years ago’’ Clarke said annoyed.  
‘’Why?’’ Costia asked worried ‘’You two are perfect for each other. And I mean that. Did Lexa ever tell you what happened that night?’’ Costia asked.  
Clarke shook her head, she wasn’t focused because she drank too much but tried to follow the conversation ‘’She told me parts of it, but I didn’t want to hear it’’ Clarke said.

_It had been two weeks since Lexa kissed Costia. Today it was their one year anniversary and Clarke agreed to give Lexa another chance. Clarke tried to get over what happened, but was having a hard time with it. She had been spending a lot of time with Finn, trying to find some distraction. But Lexa was taking her out tonight for diner, to Gustus’, just like on her first date. Clarke was already waiting downstairs when the door bell rang._   
_She opened the door to see Lexa standing in front of her in a beautiful dress. Showing her features perfectly. ‘’Evening’’ Lexa said with a smile, while holding out her hand for Clarke to take it._   
_‘’Hi’’ Clarke said. Before she followed Lexa back to her car. She got in and sat down on the passengers seat._   
_Lexa sat down in the driversseat, started the engine and drove away. She reached for Clarke’s hand and held her tight. After that she turned to face Clarke for a second ‘’I’m glad you agreed to this’’ Lexa said with a smile._   
_Clarke nodded, she seemed distracted but Lexa didn’t want to bring it up. ‘’Yeah, right’’ Clarke said, before watching out of the window._

_After a short drive, they arrived at Gustus’. Lexa led Clarke down into the bar, where music was playing in the background, candles were everywhere around the bar. And their was diner ready on the same table, where their first date had been._   
_Clarke and Lexa sat down at the table. Lexa served up diner for the two of them and poored some champagne in their glasses before she sat down again._   
_Lexa tried to make conversation all evening, but Clarke cut her off, almost everytime. Lexa knew that she had hurt Clarke, but had no idea that it was going to be this bad._

_After their diner was finished Lexa started at Clarke, who was staring at her plate all evening. Lexa stood up, walked towards the radio and turned the music louder. She pushed the table aside and reached out to Clarke ‘’May I have this dance?’’ Lexa asked with a smile._  
 _Clarke looked at Lexa for a second, and nodded at her. Lexa saw the hurt in Clarkes eyes. But it was only for a split second, before Clarke had put up her wall again._  
 _Clarke took Lexa’s hand and she held Lexa close to her._  
**_‘’ I just want you close..Where you can stay forever..You can be sure..That it will only get better’’._**  
_Lexa took the lead and span Clarke around before reaching out for her to grab her just in time. Their faces were only inches away from each other. Lexa was about to lean in to kiss Clarke._  
_**‘’You and me together..Through the days and nights..I don't worry 'cause..Everything's going to be alright..People keep talking they can say what they like..But all I know is everything's going to be alright’’**_  
_But Clarke backed away from Lexa, tears were streaming down her face._  
_**‘’No one, no one, no one..Can get in the way of what I'm feeling..No one, no one, no one..Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you..Can get in the way of what I feel for you’’**_  
_‘’Clarke?’’ Lexa asked worried. Trying to reach for her girlfriend. But deep down, Lexa knew that everything had changed._  
 _Clarke shook her head, and took a few steps back ‘’I can’t do this’’ she admitted for the first time._  
 _‘’I know’’ Lexa said, standing frozen in her place._  
_**‘’When the rain is pouring down..And my heart is hurting..You will always be around..This I know for certain..You and me together..Through the days and nights’’**_  
_‘’I made a mistake, that broke your trust. I know I can’t go back and fix this’’ Lexa said, clearly on edge of breaking down. But she wanted to stay strong. She didn’t want Clarke to feel sorry for her._  
 _Clarke walked towards Lexa with tears in her eyes ‘’We’re over. It has to be’’ she said before leaning in for one last kiss. Lexa kissed her back, breaking down in the same time. Realising she had lost Clarke, the person she loved the most._  
**_‘’I know some people search the world..To find something like what we have..I know people will try try to divide something so real..So til the end of time I'm telling you there is no one’’_**  
_‘’Goodbye’’ Clarke said, with an emptiness in her voice before leaving Lexa behind in Gustus’._

‘’So that’s how we broke up’’ Clarke explained to Costia. ‘’I didn’t plan to speak to her again, because that would’ve been to painful, until I heard that Lexa’s uncle, Gustus, who owned this bar, died the same evening. Lexa didn’t tell me that, so I owed it to her to came to the funeral with her. In that time she hadn’t told anyone that she broke up with me. So I pretended to be her girlfriend for one more day after our break up’’.  
‘’You should’ve listened to her, Clarke’’ Costia said with a serious tone.  
‘’She probably didn’t tell you, that she broke off all contact with me, just seconds after she kissed me. She told me that she couldn’t betray you like that. Lexa loved you more than anyone Clarke’’ Costia pointed out.

Clarke looked confused at Costia ‘’What?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’And btw, she didn’t kiss me back. I kissed her. Nothing else ever happened’’ Costia explained.  
Clarke felt like such an idiot. She now realised that she never gave Lexa the chance to explain herself. She was caught up in her anger towards Lexa that she never even listened for a second.  
‘’Well like you said, it’s in the past’’ Clarke said. Clarke ordered another shot of tequila and swallowed it down in one sip. She looked around the club, and noticed Finn dancing in the crowd. She turned to Costia and pointed at Finn ‘’Do you see him?’’ Clarke asked.  
Costia nodded ‘’That black haired dude, rubbing against that girl?’’ Costia laughed.  
‘’Yeah that douchebag. I dated him after Lexa for about a year. He cheated on me with Raven. Who’s now one of my friends exactly. She’s over there’’ Clarke said while pointing at Raven.  
Costia looked at Raven ‘’She’s hot’’.  
Clarke laughed at Costia, not even caring she didn’t like her at all. Clarke was too drunk anyway.  
‘’Where’s Lexa now? I notice the way you talk about her Clarke. You still love her’’ Costia pointed out.  
Clarkes face turned sad for a second before she regained herself. Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah, I never stopped. Lexa and I grew closer again after we had to work on a project together. But th-en..then’’ Clarke mumbled, tears starting to fall from her eyes. ‘’But then she got hit with a car’’ she said.  
Costia almost fell from her stool ‘’Wait what?’’ She asked confused. ‘’Is she..?’’ she was to afraid to finish her sentence.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No..She has been in a coma for over six months now’’. Clarke didn’t try to hold herself together, she had been trying that for too long. She broke down in front of Costia and the rest of the crowd who were to busy dancing.  
‘’I am sure, wherever she is Clarke. She loves you all the same’’ Costia said reassuring.  
Clarke nodded before getting up. ‘’I should go’’ Clarke mumbled before leaving the club.

About an hour later she managed to get to the hospital on her own, despite how drunk she was. Clarke knew the way around the hospital, like she worked there. Clarke had spend so many times in the hospital visiting Lexa. But lately she hadn’t gone there. Clarke had lost hope, had lost her love. But somehow after tonight she found some hope again. Clarke walked towards the hospital shop and bought a bouqet of flowers, before heading towards Lexa’s room. When she arrived at the thirth floor, she didn’t walk into an empty room to her surprise. ‘’I’m sorry for interrupting’’ Clarke said to Lexa’s fosterparents.  
They turned to face Clarke, and noticed how messy she looked but didn’t want to upset her ‘’No worries, dear. Come right in’’.  
Clarke nodded before she walked into the room, Lexa was lying on the bed peacefully, still in a coma.  
‘’I brought some flowers’’ Clarke said a bit nervous. She didn’t want to bother Lexa’s parents.  
But Lexa’s mother pointed at a chair next to her and Clarke sat down next to her.  
Lexa’s mother turned to Clarke, and looked worried at her ‘’It’s good to see you, Clarke. It’s been a while. How have you been?’’ she asked.  
Clarke tried to look away because she didn’t want to show how she was on the edge of losing it ‘’I’m okay’’ she stated.  
‘’Dear, I’ve known you for a long time now. I can see it written all over your face, you’re not okay’’ Lexa’s mother noted.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’I just miss her so much’’ she said holding back her tears.  
‘’Me too’’ Lexa’s mom said. ‘’We all miss her, Clarke’’.  
Clarke nodded and a silence fell in the room until Clarke began to talk again ‘’I was at Gustus’ tonight’’.  
‘’How’s that place nowadays?’’ Lexa’s father asked.  
‘’Nothing like it used to be. I ran into an old friend of Lexa’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Who?’’ Lexa’s mother asked surprised.  
‘’Costia’’ Clarke stated. ‘’She told me everything about what happened that night with her and Lexa. Lexa broke off all contact with her rightaway. But she never told me..’’.  
Lexa’s mother nodded ‘’Yes. We know. Lexa felt so guilty for what happened. That she didn’t want you to know. Because she knew that if you knew, you’d forgive her and she thought she didn’t deserve that. She told us later, after the funeral of Gustus that you two broke up. She told us everything Clarke’’.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah..the funeral’’ she almost fell over the words.  
‘’Clarke did you know, that her uncle died before she took you out on your anniversary diner that evening?’’ Her mother asked.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No I didn’t..’’.  
‘’She didn’t want to tell you because she wanted to make things right with you. One thing we always knew about Lexa is that she never stopped loving you Clarke, even after you two broke up’’.

_‘’Lex. I’m so sorry. My condelances’’ Clarke said before pulling Lexa in for a hug. In this moment Clarke wanted to forget everything between them and be there for Lexa._   
_‘’Thank you’’ Lexa said, obviously in grieve. She didn’t even tried to hide it. Lexa felt the warmth of Clarke near her, and it made her feel okay for a second. She knew Clarke had so much anger towards her but this moment was pure and the both of them didn’t feel any of it._   
_‘’Always’’ Clarke said before leaning in for a quick kiss._   
_That took Lexa by surprise ‘’What’s that for?’’ she asked._   
_‘’Just ‘cause’’ Clarke said. Before walking towards the church, where the funeral was taking place._

_After the ceremony ended everyone gave the family their condelances. Clarke, Lexa and the rest of her family stayed behind. Lexa turned to Clarke ‘’Thank you for coming. I know you and I have our differences. But telling them we broke up, would’ve been too much for now. So whatever happened between you and me. I’m glad you came’’ Lexa said._   
_‘’Always, Lexa’’ Clarke said with a smile. Lexa pulled her in for a long hug, somehow knowing it would be their last as a ‘’fake’’ couple. Clarke got lost in the hug for a second, she had missed Lexa more than she’d like to admit. But she knew they were over anyway. Lexa pulled back from the hug ‘’I’m not holding you back any longer’’ she said, with the hurt notable in her voice. ‘’May we meet again’’._   
_Clarke nodded, leaned in for one quick kiss and left the church without saying another word. Somehow leaving the love of her life behind. Deep down she knew this in that moment, but Clarke also knew that if it was meant to be, they would find each other again someday._

** Back in Polis.. **

‘’We are gathered here today to talk about the threat that ALIE is forming against all our people’’ Lexa said while she was sitting on her throne.  
‘’Commander, what are we going to do against her?’’ One of the ambassadors asked worried.  
‘’We’re going to fight back, with everything we have’’ Lexa said reassuring. ‘’We’ve got too much to lose. But we’re not going to give up without a fight. ALIE might’ve taken a lot prisoners into the City of Light. But we have the brilliant minds of the Sky People at our side. We’re going to do everything to stop her’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke nodded before she began to speak ‘’At first, I’d like to thank the Commander for trusting us enough to let us into the Coalition. And second of all, thank you for letting us help you’’ Clarke said greatfull.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Jus Drein Jus Daun’’.  
‘’JUS DREIN JUS DAUN’’ The crowd said.

The meeting ended quickly after that. Clarke and Lexa had been preparing for the battle against ALIE for weeks now. Luckily they still had enough time to spend with each other. For the first time in weeks, Lexa called Clarke her girlfriend. And that made Clarke laugh everytime because somehow this bad ass Commander, had a weakness for her. But she never called it weakness. No Lexa, called it her strength. Her love for Clarke made her fight everyday, so that she could return home one day. To her old life, where she could spend the rest of her days with the love of her life, no one other than Clarke Griffin.


	19. Surprising turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa contacts her spirit for guidance but meets the last person she'd expected.   
> She figures out what to do to save Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I'm having some trouble in my real life, so I'll be updating once a week. Thank you for reading my story <3   
> I'm gonna fix typos later. Cheers!

Lexa sat down and concentrated deeply on her conscious trying to get in contact with her spirit. She had been a bit troubled lately. The dreams about Clarke dying kept coming back to her. She had no idea what this meant and wanted to find this out. About a hour later, Lexa was able to reach her spirit and ended in a surprisingly different environment.  
‘’I need your help’’ Lexa said, almost sounding desperately. She was desperate but tried to cover it with worry. Worry about her dreams.   
The Commanders spirit nodded ‘’You do. But not from me’’ The spirit said. ‘’You need help from a different Commander than yourself. You need to go that way’’ The spirit said while pointing at a path that lead to a lake. ‘’You will find your answers there. Remember, the mission’’ she said before disappearing. 

Lexa thanked the Commanders spirit and headed towards the lake to find this ‘’Other Commander’’ her spirit spoke off. Lexa had no idea, where she was about to walk into. It was about a 15 minute walk when she arrived at a small lake, surrounded by trees at the left, and a big waterfall on the left. Someone was sitting underneath the waterfall on the rocks. It seemed like a girl, but Lexa didn’t recognize her because she was to far away.   
‘’Well that must be the other Commander’’ Lexa thought to herself before heading to the waterfall.

Lexa tip towed towards the person, not wanting to scare him or her. She walked around a big rock and walked into the water towards the rocks. She turned around to face the girl.  
To her surprise she knew this person. ‘’Clarke’’ Lexa said with a surprised look on her face.  
‘’You’ve finally arrived’’ Clarke said with a smile, whilst turning around to face Lexa.   
Lexa was frozen in her place, caught by surprise. ‘’My spirit told me to find someone who would have the answers…’’Lexa trailed off ‘’But I don’t understand..I mean..Clarke?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
‘’It’s me’’ Clarke said reassuring ‘’Well the me, that can remember all of what happened’’.  
‘’That’s confusing’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yes it is, but you came for answers. I happen to know them. Your mission is to save me, Wanheda, from the City of Light’’.  
Lexa nodded, still staring at her girlfriends spirit.   
‘’Well, I suggest you sit down, this is going to take a while’’ Clarke pointed out.  
Lexa nodded and sat down on another rock across Clarke’s spirit ‘’I’m listening’’.

‘’Alright. Well I’ll start at the beginning. In our past, the one I can remember. You died there. Titus shot you and you probably remember that’’ Clarkes spirit said.  
‘’After that everything went to shit. Jaha and ALIE took over people their mind by giving them some kind of chip. They’d end up in the City of Light, somehow free of pain. For a lot of people that was the easy way of dealing with what they’ve done, others were forced to take the chip, including my mother. When everything was messed up in Polis and the people came to kill us, I accepted the Flame. That’s when my spirit got connected with the Flame, same as yours. We saw each other, one more time, in the City of Light. Somehow that was possible. You saved my life and helped me go back just in time. But I had to leave you behind. With that being the hardest thing I had ever done, I had to make it right somehow’’ Clarke explained.  
‘’I don’t understand’’ Lexa said confused ‘’I don’t remember that’’.  
‘’I know. I erased that’’ Clarke confessed. ‘’When Raven showed us the kill switch, you stayed behind and that’s when I saw you for the last time. We succeeded in saving our people, but nothing was the same after that. There were no Nightbloods left and everyone turned against each other. I needed to do something about this, so my mother and I tried to figure out a way for the Flame to accept me, but we failed. So I talked to the remaining loyal Grounders and Skaikru, they voted for me. That’s when I became Commander of the Grounders and Skaikru. But somehow my pain of losing you became to much and I tried to enter the City of Light again. I tried to enter, by putting the Flame in me. Not caring about what happened. It went well for a few seconds, but the Flame started to reject my blood and that’s all I can remember’’ the spirit explained.  
‘’But I don’t understand. How’s that supposed to help me?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
‘’You have to figure out what happened with me in the past and make sure it doesn’t happen again. You now know that everything turned bad after you died. So staying alive is your main focus’’.

After that Lexa woke up in her chambers. She opened her eyes and looked around the room to see Clarke kneeling down before her.  
‘’Hey it’s okay’’ she said reassuring. ‘’I’m here’’ She said.  
Lexa leaned in and gave Clarke a quick kiss. ‘’I know’’ she said, while pulling her in for a hug. She knew what she had to do for Clarke. She knew it was only a matter of time before ALIE would arrive at Polis.


	20. The beginning of the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is taken by Alie. Alie needs answers and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get them.  
> The chips are already working, so a lot of people are under the influence of Alie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my late update.  
> There's some torture in this chapter, so please forgive me for that.  
> I promise things will turn out okay.

‘’What happened?’’ Clarke asked worried. Looking at Lexa, who looked with fear in her eyes. Clarke knew Lexa well enough to know that something was wrong.   
Lexa turned around to face Clarke for a second ‘’Nothing. It’s okay’’ she said with a fake smile on her face. She didn’t want Clarke to worry about any of this because she knew what her main focus was.   
Clarke nodded, not wanting to piss of Lexa.   
‘’I have to go’’ Lexa said shortly before leaving Clarke behind in the room.

Lexa had always loved Polis, with it’s beautiful streets filled with happines, and of course the skyscraper. It was a place where she felt like she belonged. Well that was how she used to feel, nowadays nothing felt like home anymore. She had no idea what her home was.

Lexa left her quarters and walked down the street to get some food. It was raining but she didn’t mind. Sometimes she actually enjoyed the rain, because somehow it reflected on how she felt somedays. Lexa walked over to a nearby window and saw her reflection. She looked tired.

Lexa was caught of guard by something, or rather someone. Lexa had no idea who it was. But this person looked angry. Lexa gulped, she was not prepared for any confrontation tonight. She had left her weapons back in her room, when she walked out on Clarke. 

As the person came closer, Lexa saw the glint in her eye. Lexa gazed worried at the person, trying to read her.   
‘’Commander?’’ the woman asked angry.  
Lexa nodded ‘’yes I am the Commander’’ she spat out. 

They looked angry at each other. The woman took a few steps closer and hit Lexa unconscious. ‘’It’s nothing personal’’ the person said with a grin, before dragging Lexa with her into the darkness.

Clarke woke up the next morning. She had fallen asleep pretty quick after Lexa left her behind. Clarke gave Lexa her space because she knew that Lexa needed that sometimes. Clarke sat up on the bed, and looked around the room. She didn’t see Lexa anywhere, and thought that was a bit odd. Clarke stood up and noticed Lexas weapons still lying on the couch. ‘’This can’t be good’’ Clarke thought to herself.

‘’GUARDS!’’ Clarke yelled.   
The doors opened a few seconds later with two guard storming into the room. They turned to Clarke, who had a worried look on her face.  
‘’You called for us?’’ One of the guards asked.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yes. The Commander isn’t anywhere to be found’’ Clarke said rushed, in a worried tone.   
‘’What do you mean?’’the guards asked.  
‘’Your Commander left last night. But her weapons are still here’’ Clarke said annoyed.

Lexa opened her eyes. She needed to get used to the light around here. She had no idea where she was.   
‘’Speak!’’ A womans voice said angry.  
Lexa didn’t know what was going on, so she remained silent. She looked up to see a woman, in a red dress standing in front of her. She had black hair, and looked angry. But something around her didn’t seem to add up, it looked like she wasn’t really human. It didn’t take long until Lexa realized who it was.  
‘’Alie’’ Lexa spat out in anger.  
‘’Good guess. Now tell me, Commander’’ Alie said sarcastically ‘’How does it feel to lose everything around you?’’ she said with a grin.   
‘’I wouldn’t know’’ Lexa said shortly before grinning at Alie. ‘’You know, I’ve been through much worse. I’ll never give you what you want’’.  
She knew everything. She knew about Clarke. The City of Light and what her mission was. Alie slapped her in her face. But Lexa didn’t even flinch. She had been through much worse. Lexa spat in Alies face. Alie pulled out her knife and sliced Lexa in her stomach. Alie watched as the blood seeped from the cut.  
‘’Start talking!’’ Alie demanded.

Lexa glared at Alie. She remained quiet. Alie had enough of it. She kicked Lexa down on the ground before her.   
Lexa recovered from the kick and sat down before Alie on the ground. She looked up, staring straight at Alie.  
‘’What makes you happy?’’ Alie asked with a grin. ‘’Because I’ll take everything away from you’’.  
Lexa grinned at Alie, not giving in to the pain ‘’You don’t ask people with knives in their stomaches what makes them happy; happines is no longer the point. It’s all about survival; it’s about whether you pull the knife out and bleed to death or keep it..’’ Lexa said.  
‘’You’re mistake, Commander’’ Alie said, laughing at Lexa.   
‘’Your precious Clarke is coming for you soon enough..and she doesn’t have a clue, does she?’’.  
‘’DON’T’’ Lexa growled.   
Alie knocked Lexa out with in the next few seconds.

Lexa woke up the next morning in a chair in the cell she had orignally been placed in. She looked around the room to study her surroundings, trying to figure a way out of this place. Lexa heard footsteps coming closer to her cell, in the past she would’ve feared this before she took Command. But nowadays, nothing scared her anymore.

This time it was Jaha with Kane that walked inside the room. They had so much in store for Lexa today. They were pretty sure it would get them to talk. Jaha was aware that the human body could only take so much.   
‘’Tell me everything you know about Alies plans’’ Jaha commanded.  
‘’No!’’ Lexa yelled through gritted teeth.  
Jaha took a few steps closer to Lexa and gave her a few hits on her face. Before grabbing her by her throat. Lexa stared into the empty eyes of Jaha and Kane. She knew this was Alies doing. Whatever they wanted to know, Lexa knew she had to remain silent.   
‘’Still not talking, huh?’’ Jaha asked angry.  
‘’I would be a fool to say anything’’ Lexa grinned.

Lexa got lost in her thoughts for a few seconds. She had no idea how people could become like this. She knew it had something to do with Alie. But she had known Marcus Kane, for a long time now and had never seen him like this. Even in her old life, where he didn’t like her, he had a caring look in his eyes. Here? Nothing.  
Lexa instantly stopped thinking about it, when Marcus punched her in her face again. Lexas face was already swollen and bruised. 

Marcus grabbed a chair and sat down across from Lexa. ‘’You’re not going to make this easy on us, are you?’’ he asked.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’No’’.  
Jaha leaned forward and caressed Lexas swollen cheek. Lexa jerked away, trying to get out of his reach. ‘’Don’t touch me!’’ she growled.  
‘’You know. If you will actually live to see another day..that will take some time to heal’’ he grinned.  
‘’I’m aware’’ Lexa said angry.

Kane was about to punch Lexa again in her face, when the celldoor was kicked open. Clarke ran into the room, pointing a gun at Jaha and Kane ‘’Get away from her’’ She yelled.

‘’Make us’’ Jaha said. Not backing away from Lexa. This made Clarke angry, so she pulled the trigger and shot Jaha in his leg. Kane backed away from Clarke, not wanting to get shot.  
‘’Get down on your knees!’’ Clarke demanded.

Marcus got down on his knees and let Clarke pass him so she could reach Lexa. Clarke sat down next in front of Lexa and cut her loose from the chair. She helped Lexa up from the chair and strumbled with her out of the cell ‘’It’s okay. I got you’’ she said to Lexa, in a caring tone.

‘’It is happening. Sooner than I thought’’ Lexa said.  
‘’What is?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’The City of Light’’ Lexa stated.


	21. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa figured out a way to enter the City of Light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it :)   
> Sorry for typos. Cheers!

Two weeks later..

‘’Mom? Can you hear me?’’ Clarke asked worried. While holding her mother close to her.  
Abby had been chipped by ALIE, but Clarke and Lexa found a way to free Abby from the mind control.  
‘’Come back to me. I know you’re in there’’ Clarke almost begged to her mother.  
Lexa watched from the side as Clarke leaned over her mother trying to reach to her.  
‘’She’ll be fine Clarke’’ Lexa said reassuring.  
Clarke looked a bit frightened but found Lexas words reassuring. ‘’I need you’’ Clarke said in a desperate tone.  
Abby opened her eyes a few seconds later. Looking up at her daughter.  
‘’Hi’’ Clarke said to Abby.  
Clarke helped Abby sit up. She needed Abbys help because of Alie, Clarke needed to enter the City of Light to help Lexa stop Jaha and Alie.

Bellamy and Murphy walked into the Commanders room. They were armed and looked suspicious at Abby.  
‘’It’s okay. She’s back’’ Clarke said reassuring to her friends.  
Bellamy nodded and lowered his gun. Murphy did the same.  
Lexa watched from a distance, but wasn’t to pleased with guns in her throneroom. She looked worried at Clarke because she knew what had to be done. 

Lexa turned to Murphy because they needed his help.   
‘’Murphy’’ Lexa said with a serious tone in her voice.  
‘’Yes, Commander?’’ he asked annoyed.  
‘’You are the new Flame keeper, aren’t you? Titus showed you how to use the Flame?’’ Lexa asked.  
Murphy nodded, but kept his distance from the Commander ‘’Yes he did’’.  
‘’Alright. We need your help with the flame’’ Lexa said.

Lexa nodded at Clarke ‘’It’s your turn Clarke’’ she said almost desperately.  
‘’Desperate times, desperate decisions’’ Lexa added coldly.  
Clarke looked worried at her girlfriend but didn’t say a word. She knew she couldn’t stop Lexa even if she wanted too. 

Clarke turned to her mother who was still a bit in shock by what she did when she was in Alies control. ‘’I need your help’’ Clarke begged.  
Abby looked confused at her daughter ‘’With what?’’ she asked.  
‘’With something you are not going to like’’ Clarke said stoic. ‘’But something that needs to be done’’ she added.

Lexa stood up and sat down on the steps in front of her throne. She faced Murphy and motioned for him to come to her.  
Murphy looked confused but obeyed ‘’What do you want me to do?’’ he asked.  
‘’I want you to remove the Flame from my neck’’ Lexa said, holding herself together because she had no idea what would happen to her. When they removed the Flame, Lexa would still be able to enter the City of Light because of her connection with her past spirit.   
‘’Are you insane?!’’ he asked jokingly. ‘’This is a joke right?’’ he scoffed.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’I wish it was’’ she said with a harsh tone in her voice.  
Murphy gulped, but listened to the Commander. His face turned white but he nodded ‘’Alright’’.  
‘’Are you ready?’’ Murphy asked.  
Lexa nodded and handed him a knife ‘’I’m ready’’.

‘’WAIT!’’ Clarke said worried. Stopping Murphy just in time.   
She kneeled down in front of Lexa, looking her girlfriend right in the eyes. ‘’You’re crazy you know that’’ she said teasingly.  
‘’I know’’ Lexa said determined about her decision.  
Clarke laughed at her girlfriend before leaning in for a quick kiss ‘’Please return safely’’ she said.  
Lexa nodded before looking at her girlfriend one more time ‘’Do what you have to do Clarke’’.  
Clarke smiled ‘’I will’’.

Clarke walked back to her mother and nodded for Murphy to proceed with what he was about to do.  
Murphy motioned for Lexa to sit back, so she could reveal her neck where the Flame was. Lexa bow down.   
Murphy but the knife in Lexas neck and made a straight cut ‘’Ascende Superius’’ Murphy said. The Flame came lose from Lexas neck and John was able to get it out before putting it in the box Titus had given to him a long time ago.

Lexa dropped on the ground as soon as the Flame was removed. Murphy handed the flame over to Clarke.  
Clarke took the flame and turned to her mother. ‘’You’re not going to like the next part’’ she said a bit worried for her mothers reaction.  
‘’I want you to connect me to a nightblood’’ she said, facing her mother.  
‘’Transfusion?’’ Murphy asked suprised.   
‘’Not exactly’’ Clarke added.   
‘’Connected like Mount Weather?’’ Abby asked dissaproving.   
Clarke turned around to face her mother and nodded ‘’Yes. Everything we need is in your med kit’’.  
‘’No it’s too dangerous. There are to many variables’’ Abby said worried before standing up to face her daughter.  
‘’But no options. Lexa explained everything. We need to trust her’’ Clarke said determined about her decision.

Octavia and a few others walked in a few moments later ‘’Whatever your doing. You better do it fast’’ she said worried.  
‘’Why? What happened?’’ Bellamy asked.  
‘’They are climbing the tower’’ she said.  
‘’There’s no time to lose’’ Clarke said to Abby. ‘’We need to do this. I need you to trust me’’ she added.  
Abby nodded ‘’Alright. How do you want to do this?’’ she asked.  
‘’I want you to connect me to Lexa’’ Clarke said trailing off.  
‘’Alright. Sit down on the throne’’ Abby said.

Clarke sat down on the throne a few minutes later. Murphy and Bellamy had put Lexa on a nearby table. Lexa was still out of it and they had no idea if she would wake up.   
Abby did what she needed to do and connected Lexas blood with Clarkes, just like they did in Mount Weather.

Abby looked worried at her daughter, but Clarke reassured her that there was no other option. Lexa had explained to Clarke that they had to get connected to the City of Light. But in order for that to happen Clarke needed the Flame and Lexa didn’t because of her connection with the spirit from her past.

‘’We’re all set’’ Abby said to the rest in the throneroom. Octavia and the rest had left to protect the Tower from the intruders that were climbing it to attack.  
‘’Okay. Are you ready?’’ Abby asked Clarke.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah’’. She looked to the side to see Lexa lying on the table. 

A few moments later the nightblood entered Clarkes body. That was when she was ready to accept the Flame.   
‘’This will work’’ Clarke said.  
‘’And if it doesn’t?’’ Abby asked worried.  
‘’If it doesn’t work, then she dies’’ Murphy said while walking towards Clarke.  
‘’If we’re going to do this I need the Flame’’ he said to Clarke.  
Clarke nodded and gave him the box. Murphy opened it and grabbed the Flame.  
‘’Ascende Superius’’ Murphy said before activating the Flame.  
The Flame attached itself in Clarkes neck. Causing her to pass out.

Clarke looked around and studied her surroundings. She was standing on a road in a big city with a lot of skycrapers around her. Somehow this place seemed familiar to her, but she didn’t know how.  
One thing she was sure of is that she had to get out of sight. Lexa explained to her, that she needed to lay low as much as possible. Alie would be able to sense when someone had entered with the Flame. The item she needed.

Clarke walked into the center of the City, trying to lay low. But a few men had spotted her and tried to follow her. Clarke noticed this and tried to run away. She ran towards stairs that were on the other side of the street. 

Clarke was ambushed by three men who came out the middle of nowhere. She tried to defend herself but they were to strong. They knocked her over on the ground and hit her in the stomach. Trying to knock her out. When she suddenly a scream was heard from behind.  
‘’AAAH!’’ Lexa screamed who came charging at the men with her swords, slicing their throats in one swing.  
Lexa charged at a few other men who tried to attack them. But she was faster than them and killed them instantly, causing them to fall on the ground as well.  
‘’Lexa!’’ Clarke said feeling relieved.  
Lexa killed the remaining men who tried to attack them before running towards Clarke. She kneeled down next to Clarke and pulled her in for a hug ‘’It’s good to see you. I knew this would work’’ Lexa said confident.  
Clarke embraced the hug and felt the warmth of her girlfriend. ‘’You did scare me though’’ she admitted.  
Lexa smiled at her girlfriend before leaning in for a quick kiss. ‘’Our fight is not over’’ she said to Clarke before helping her stand up. ‘’We need to go. Now!’’.  
Clarke nodded at her girlfriend. ‘’Alright. What now?’’ she asked.


	22. Kill switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke try to find the kill switch to end Alie.

‘’Now we fight’’ Lexa said with a fierce look on her face. ‘’Well let’s get out of here first’’ she said when she spotted more man rushing towards them.  
Lexa looked at Clarke for a second and saw that she was injured so she lifted Clarke up and made her lean on Lexa shoulder.

The two of them strumbled away as fast as they could. Lexa put Clarke down on stairs when they were out of reach of the man.  
‘’Auch’’ Clarke said in pain. ‘’Something is wrong’’ Clarke said.   
Lexa cupped Clarkes face and tried to calm her down. ‘’It’s okay’’ she said softly.  
‘’I was so worried that this wouldn’t work’’ Clarke said while being almost out of breath.   
‘’I once told you that my spirit would chose wisely. Remember?’’ Lexa said with a smile.

After that something changed around them. Somehow the time leaped forward, fast. Lexa knew that this was Alies doing and the upload had begun. This was the time to stop her together with Clarke. But this time she needed to save Clarke as well. This was the mission her spirit told her about.  
‘’What is this?’’ Clarke asked surprised.  
‘’Alie knows you’re here. Your mind is changing things because of the Flame. Day turns to night. It rains’’ Lexa said trying to explain things.  
Lexa helped Clarke up but Clarke couldn’t because she was to weak. Clarkes body started to seizure and this took Lexa by surprise ‘’CLARKE?!’’ Lexa asked worried.

……

Abby had been watching Clarke and hoping that everything would turn out okay. When she turned around for a second she noticed that Clarke began to seizure.   
Abby looked at the connection between Lexa and Clarke and noticed that Clarke had to less blood.   
‘’It’s not working anymore. We need to do something! Right now’’ Abby said worried to Murphy.  
Murphy nodded and ran towards Lexa. He examined the connection until he saw that Lexas heart rate was extremely low.  
‘’Her heartbeat is low’’ Murphy stated.  
Abby looked worried at Murphy before running away from Clarke. She began to pump Lexas heart by giving her heart massage, in order for Clarke to stay in the City of Light long enough.  
‘’Fight’’ Abby said worried to her daughter who was still seizuring. ‘’Please fight’’ Abby begged, with a desperate tone in her voice.

…….

‘’Clarke! Come back. I need you’’ Lexa begged her girlfriend. She was so worried that she would lose Clarke all over again.  
Lexa was relieved when she noticed that Clarke stopped seizuring after a minute. Clarke slowly opened her eyes to see Lexa kneeling over her.   
‘’Clarke?’’ Lexa said relieved.  
Clarke sat up and looked at her girlfriend. She leaned in and kissed Lexa quickly before pulling away.  
Lexa caressed Clarkes face before talking ‘’Listen to me. Now the upload has begun Alies people will be able to see us. We need to be more careful’’ Lexa said worried.  
‘’Why are they here already?’’ Clarke asked confused.  
‘’The Flame offers some protection, but less and less. Can you stand?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Yeah’’ Clarke nodded at Lexa.  
Clarke stood up and to her surprise she noticed that her fathers watch was working.   
‘’My fathers watch. It’s working. It’s counting down’’ Clarke said confused.  
‘’We have ten minutes by the looks of it to find the kill switch and end this for good’’ Lexa said worried.  
The two of them were interrupted by something, or rather someone. It was a sign that Raven had uploaded, leading them towards the kill switch.

Lexa and Clarke ran towards the destination to only be trapped inside an ally. That was when Alie appeared along with Jaha.  
‘’Firewall’’ Lexa said a bit angry.  
‘’I don’t understand’’ Clarke mumbled.  
Lexa turned to face her girlfriend. ‘’You will, someday’’ Lexa said sadly, but masked it away.

Lexa and Clarke turned around when Clarke noticed a raven sign at the wall near them. Alie and Jaha were in the way, but Lexa decided the fight them so Clarke could get to the kill switch.

Lexa charged with full speed at Alie and threw her blade at her.  
‘’Now!’’ Clarke yelled at Lexa to come to her.  
Lexa threw her other blade as well and made it safely into the door that lead towards the kill switch.


	23. Don't leave me, please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes it back to Polis. Lexa is somewhere in between.

It was nothing like they had expected. Somehow they were in some kind of white room. The two of them looked out of the window and saw earth. They turned around to face one and other and looked confused and relieved at the same time.  
‘’Commander. I’m glad you made it’’ someone said to Clarke. The two of them turned around and looked at someone who looked exactly like Alie.  
‘’Your Becca Pramheda’’ Clarke said before noticing who it was.  
‘’Becca is fine’’ she said before smiling at Clarke.  
Lexa was still in the back knowing this was none of her bussines.  
‘’There isn’t much time. The code is nearly updated’’ Becca said.  
Clarke looked confused before looking at her fathers watch ‘’Did you give me this?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’No, she did’’ Becca said before gesturing at Lexa. ‘’She’s the key in all of this.’’  
‘’I don’t understand’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Alie 2.0, the person you know has merged with your minds. But Lexas mind was different than all of those before. But now, it’s you. Your mind is in control. And only the mind that’s in control can operate the kill switch’’ Becca added.

Becca motioned for the two of them to follow her. She walked back a white switch. ‘’This is it’’ Becca said.  
‘’If you pull that. You will be killing everyone. See it for yourself’’ Alie 2.0 said from behind.  
The nuclear power plants that were destroyed by the bombs have begun to melt down. My drones detected the first of them 4 months ago. There are more than a dozen at-risk plants around the world, 7 currently burning. Global radiation levels are already rising. By my calculations, in less than 6 months, 96% of the Earth's surface will be uninhabitable... even for those born in space, so, you see, the City of Light is the only thing that can save you’’ Alie said with a grin.  
‘’Black rain will come first. There will be no drinkable water. Precancerous lesions will form on...’’ Alie said.  
She's stalling. As soon as the update is complete, she'll delete the kill switch’’ Lexa growled.

I am not stalling. I'm telling the truth’’ Alie grinned.  
‘’Why tell us now? If it's true, why not use this to get people to take the chip instead of torturing them?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’The last time I warned my creator of a threat to human survival, she chose to lock me away and came here to work on my replacement. Define "perverse instantiation." Perverse instantiation... the implementation of a benign final goal through deleterious methods unforeseen by a human programmer. Like killing 6.5 billion people to solve overpopulation’’ Alie growled.  
‘’The goal isn’t everything’’ Lexa said worried.  
‘’How you reach the goal matters, too. I'm sorry that I didn't teach you that, Commander’’ Alie 2.0 said in anger. ‘’Your weak. You should’ve known better than that. But your love for this blonde has made you weak. Wait, have you told her what happens, when she pulls that switch?’’ Alie said with a grin.  
Lexa shook her head ‘’Don’t do this’’.  
‘’Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this way to much’’ Alie said with a grin.

‘’It's now or never, Clarke. Once A.L.I.E.'s upgraded, I won't be able to help you anymore’’ Becca said.  
‘’But I will... in the City of Light’’ Clarke mumbled.  
You don't have to bear the burden of decisions like this one, Clarke. You don't have to live with the pain of the things that you've done anymore, the lives you have taken, and those you've lost. You will be at peace. You will live forever’’ Alie said.  
‘’ I've tried running away from my pain. It doesn’t work’’ Clarke said angry.  
‘’Your people don't agree, Clarke. You heard them!’’ Lexa said worried.  
‘’Even those who were coerced would still choose to stay here’’ Alie pointed out.  
‘’Give them a real choice,and I won't pull this lever. Give them back their pain, their memories. Let them decide for themselves’’ Clarke demanded.  
‘’She can't. Her core command is to make life better for mankind. She still thinks she's doing that’’ Becca explainded.

‘’20 seconds, and the kill switch will be gone’’ Becca said worried.  
‘’Would you really condemn the human race to die in 6 months?’’ Alie asked.  
‘’We'll figure something out. We always do’’ Clarke said with a grin.

‘’Yes, Clarke. There's still hope’’ Lexa pointed out.  
‘’According to my calculations, there is not’’ Alie said.

‘’10 seconds’’ Becca added.  
‘’Let me ease their pain, Clarke. We can save the human race together’’ Alie begged.  
‘’You don't ease pain. You overcome it... and we will’’ Lexa growled at Alie before charging at her with full speed.  
‘’Now!’’ Lexa demanded.  
Clarke nodded at Lexa and pulled the switch. Everything turned to black. 

……

Clarke coughed before opening her eyes. She took in the light that hurt in her eyes. She looked around the room and noticed that she was sitting in the throne.

Abby and Bellamy turned around to look at Clarke ‘’Clarke. You did it’’ Abby said relieved.  
Abby motioned for Bellamy to come to her. ‘’Take over’’ Abby said to him before walking towards her daughter.  
‘’We need to remove the Flame’’ Murphy pointed out.  
‘’Ascende Superius’’ Murphy said before taking the Flame from Clarkes neck. The Flame came lose from Clarkes neck. Clarke faced Murphy ‘’thank you’’ she said grateful.  
‘’Just another day on the ground, right?’’ he asked.  
Clarke nodded before facing her mother. ‘’How’s Lexa?’’ Clarke asked worried.  
Abby tried to change the subject but saw her daughters worry ‘’Removing the Flame, changed everything. We’re doing everything we can’’ Abby said, feeling sorry for her daughter.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’No. I can’t lose her’’ she said while holding back her tears.  
Clarke wanted to get up from the throne but noticed the blood that was still connected to her so she tore out the connection before running towards the table that Lexa was on.

‘’Fight’’ Clarke whispered.  
......

Lexa looked around and took in her surroundings. It was the same black room where everything had started. She counted till three ‘’1..2..3’’ until the Commanders spirit appeared in the room.  
‘’I’m sorry. I know I should’ve stayed alive but she needed the Flame..’’ Lexa said feeling ashamed.  
The Commander shook her head ‘’You’ve done well, Heda Lexa’’ the Commander said proudly.  
‘’Why? I didn’t do like you asked me to. I saved her instead of me..’’ Lexa mumbled.  
‘’Exactly. You made Clarke ready for her duties this time. She won’t be as lost as she was last time. This time she will know what to do. This time she won’t die’’ The Commanders spirit said.  
‘’I don’t understand’’ Lexa said confused.  
‘’Your task is fullfilled. You saved Wanheda. For that you will be rewarded’’ The spirit said.  
‘’Rewarded?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
The Commander nodded ‘’Yes. I’m going to give you a choice. You can choice to return to Clarke in Polis, or return to your old life. It’s up to you. Heda’’ the spirit said.  
‘’That’s an impossible choice!’’ Lexa growled.  
‘’One that you have to make anyway. If you choice Polis, your people will come first at all cost. If you choice your old life, Clarke will remember but she won’t love you anymore.’’

Lexa shook her head ‘’No. I won’t choice. I love her and your not going to take this away from me. I’m not going to do this’’.

……

‘’Mom! Please save her’’ Clarke begged. ‘’She said everything would be fine..’’ Clarke mumbled.  
‘’I’m trying, dear’’ Abby said worried while trying to get Lexa back to them.  
‘’Come on!’’ Abby begged the Commander.

...…

‘’I love her. If you don’t like my choice, than kill me’’ Lexa spat out.  
‘’As you wish’’ The Commanders spirit said before charging at Lexa.  
‘’BAM’’ Lexa vanished.

……

‘’I have an idea! Hand me over the Flame’’ Clarke asked Murphy.  
Murphy ran towards Clarke and handed her over the Flame. ‘’Be careful’’ he said worried.  
‘’You never know what happens’’ he added.  
‘’If I don’t try she’s dead anyway. Move aside’’ Clarke demanded.  
Abby nodded and moved away from Lexa to make room for Clarke.  
Clarke held Lexa close to her when she said the words ‘’Ascende Superius’’ she said.  
The Flame got activated and crawled into Lexas neck, back into the cut where it came from the first time.

It connected itself in Lexas neck. Somehow recovering Lexas spirit.  
A big exhale was heard when Clarke looked up at to face her girlfriend. She saw Lexas chest move.  
‘’Oh my god. Your breathing!’’ Clarke screamed out before pulling her girlfriend in for a hug.

Lexa opened her eyes and embraced Clarkes warmth. ‘’You didn’t think I was going to leave you, were you?’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’I was doubting it’’ Clarke said laughing with tears in her face. ‘’You idiot, never do that again, okay?’’ Clarke asked before leaning in for a quick kiss.  
Lexa nodded before kissing Clarke back. ‘’I won’t’’.

…...


	24. New start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke talk about their memories.

…...

Lexa tried to stand up from the table. But she was to dizzy in her head. Lexa knew she shouldn’t be here but Clarke managed to save her somehow.   
Clarke was sitting next to Lexa on the edge of the table.  
‘’Are you okay, Lex?’’ Clarke asked worried about wether the brunette was alright.  
Lexa looked a bit distracted but smiled at Clarke ‘’Yeah. I just don’t understand..I didn’t make it..yet I’m here?’’ Lexa asked confused.  
Clarke gulped ‘’Yeah. I put the Flame back in you’’ Clarke said with a serious tone.  
Lexa looked surprised ‘’That’s why I came back, isn’t it?’’  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah. Somehow your Spirit is connected with it. It saved you’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Lexa took Clarkes hand and held it tight ‘’Mochof’’ she whispered softly.  
Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa quickly.

‘’Uhum’’ Abby cleared her throat. ‘’Commander’’ Abby said with a serious tone ‘’you should take it easy for a while. You were gone and we had to start CPR’’.  
‘’Mom. Thank you. Could you give us a minute?’’ Clarke asked.  
Abby nodded ‘’Of course’’ she said before leaving the two behind to give them some privacy.

Clarke turned to face Lexa ‘’I need to ask you something’’ Clarke said.  
‘’Ask away’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’This may sound weird but I got these flashes..’’ Clarke mumbled.  
‘’Flashes?’’ Lexa asked curious.  
Clarke nodded ‘’Yeah. I know this is going to sound crazy, but it were flashes about us’’ Clarke said awkwardly.  
‘’You were in a hospital’’ Clarke mumbled ‘’Like you were in some sort of coma and it was like I was there.’’  
‘’That doesn’t sound crazy. Where there more flashes?’’ Lexa asked.  
Clarke nodded embarrassed ‘’Yeah. You and I had some kind of fight and I ignored you after that..’’  
‘’But it didn’t feel like some kind of daydream, it felt real’’ Clarke added.  
Lexa looked away not wanting scare of Clarke about everything ‘’That’s because it’s real..’’ Lexa said softly.  
Clarke looked confused for a second ‘’I don’t understand.’’  
‘’I know you don’t understand but I can show you if you want’’ Lexa said a bit to serious.   
Clarke nodded ‘’Alright, show me.’’

Lexa stood up and walked out of the throneroom into her chambers. Clarke followed her back to the chambers and sat down across from Lexa next to her bed.   
Lexa looked Clarke in the eyes ‘’Focus on me’’ she said with a calmness in her voice that made Clarke shiver.  
‘’Close your eyes and focus on your inner self’’ Lexa said.  
Clarke nodded and closed her eyes. She concentrated on herself but nothing happened.  
She opened her eyes a few seconds later again ‘’It’s not working!’’ she said a bit to loud.  
Lexa chuckled because of Clarke ‘’It doesn’t work that fast. Close your eyes again and focus on your breathing.’’  
This time Clarke closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. It wasn’t until about five minutes later that it appeared to be working. 

……

Clarke opened her eyes but didn’t know where she was. She scanned her surroundings and to her surprise she was in some kind of dark room. Clarke panicked and tried to get back but couldn’t. She saw some kind of light in the distance and she made a run for it.   
‘’Lexa? Where are you?!’’ Clarke asked in a panick voice.  
But no answer was heard. Until a figure appeared in front of Clarke.   
Clarke was stopped in her tracks and stood frozen in her place. She looked at the figure, who looked way to much like Lexa. Well, not all the same, this figure had a lot of pain that was showing in her eyes.  
‘’Don’t be scared’’ the figure said to Clarke.  
Clarke shook her head ‘’I don’t understand..’’  
The figure nodded at her ‘’You will, if you give me the chance to explain all of this.’’  
Clarke nodded ‘’Okay. I’m listening.’’  
‘’It will be a lot to take in, Clarke. Open yourself up to it. Only then you will be yourself again.’’  
Clarke shook her head ‘’I can’t. It’s so much pain’’ she said holding herself together.  
‘’I know because I was there for all of it, Wanheda’’ the voice said.’’  
‘’It wasn’t just pain. There are a lot of happy memories as well. You just have to let them in. Lexa had to go through this as well and she made it too’’ the figure said.  
‘’No amount of time and space can seperate you from the people who are meant to be in your life. They will always come back’’ the figure said.  
Clarke nodded and opened herself up. She took all of it in and all of those flashes came back again, only this time clearer than before.   
She remembered Gustus’, Finn, The project, Abby Kane..and the car accident that Lexa had.

……

Clarke opened her eyes and looked at Lexa who was sitting across from her.   
Lexa looked with a smile at her before speaking ‘’And?’’ she asked.  
‘’I..remember’’ Clarke stammeled. ‘’You were in an car accident!’’ she said with tears in her eyes before walking to Lexa and pulling her in for a hug.  
‘’I know, Clarke. But I’m okay’’ Lexa said reassuring.  
Clarke pulled away after that ‘’How did we get here?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’I have no clue. My spirit told me that I had to chose between returning to my old life or return here. I didn’t chose and the spirit released me until you brought me back with the Flame. I guess that’s the only reason why I’m here now. And I guess you started to remember because you were re-connected with your Spirit. You have been a past Commander as well. The Spirit said that I had to make sure that you would furfill your duties. And I did my part, now it’s up to you’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’What do you mean?’’ Clarke asked confused.  
‘’You know what I mean, Clarke’’ Lexa said with a sadness in her voice. 

Lexa stood up and let Clarke go. She walked away from Clarke and focused on more time on her Spirit. ‘’Ascende Superius’’ Lexa said before falling on the ground. Lexa gazed at Clarke one more time before her eyes went black.

Clarke ran over to Lexa and held her thightly against her. ‘’Not again’’ Clarke cried out, tears were streaming down her face. ‘’I can’t lose you again’’ Clarke said while carressing Lexas cheek.  
‘’You promised me!’’ Clarke cried out.

Abby ran into the room as fast as she could when she heard screaming coming from the Commander chambers. Her face turned white when she saw her daughter holding the Commander against her, with tears all over her face.  
‘’Clarke what happened?’’ Abby asked worried.  
‘’She is gone’’ Clarke mumbled.  
Abby rushed to Lexa and sat down next to Clarke on the ground to check for a pulse. But there was none.

……

Lexa counted to three ‘’1..2..3’’ before the Commanders spirit appeared again. This time the Spirit looked different than all those times before. Somehow lighter, like some weight had fallen of off her.  
Lexa faced the Commanders spirit and demanded a new choice ‘’I did what you asked me to do. Now give me a new choice’’ Lexa demanded.  
The spirit nodded at Lexa ‘’Yes, you did what needed to be done this time. What’s your wish?’’ the Spirit asked.  
‘’I want to return to my old life and I want to remember everything but I want Clarke to forget everything. I don’t want Clarke to feel the pain of our past lives. I want her to be happy. But I want her to love me, just for me. Not me the Commander, just me, a normal school girl’’ Lexa said angry.  
‘’If that’s what you want. That’s what you’ll get. But remember one thing Heda, you tend to live in the past because most of your life was there.’’  
‘’That I will deal with that. I don’t care as long as I’m with Clarke. I thought I wanted to be with her in Polis but I remembered one thing clearly, her goal there was to move on without me. In my old life, it was me and her. So that’s what I chose. I chose Clarke’’ Lexa said with statisfied feeling.  
‘’Alright’’ The spirit said.  
‘’One thing before you do what you do best. Why did you say before that Clarke wouldn’t love me in my old life?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’I told you that because I needed you to return and complete your mission. And you did that, didn’t you?’’ the spirit said with a grin.  
Lexa looked angry but couldn’t say another word because the spirit was already gone.  
……

Present time (old life)…

Clarke had fallen asleep on the edge of the bed. She had been spending all of her time in the hospital waiting for some kind of miracle. She had never given up hope, once because she loved Lexa so much.

Lexa felt heavy. Like she had been lying on a bed for a long time now. She tried to open her eyes but they didn’t open. She wanted to move her arms and legs but they couldn’t move. She wanted to open her mout hand say something but she couldn’t. She wanted to embrace the warmth that was close to her, but she couldn’t.   
Lexa fought like this for a while before she could get one word out of her mouth ‘’Cl..aarrkeeee?’’ Lexa whispered, but she talked so soft that you could barely hear it.  
Clarke opened her eyes and looked up to see Lexas mouth move. ‘’’LEXA?!’’ Clarke jumped of her chair and ran out of the room towards the nearest nurse station she could find.

‘’Sir. Lexa Woods just moved!’’ Clarke yelled out.  
Abby was near and saw her daughter with tears in her eyes from happines ‘’what’s going on, Clarke?’’ Abby asked.  
‘’Mom! She’s waking up! Please come with me!’’ Clarke said in joy, before running back to Lexas room.

Lexa had embraced the light by now and opened her eyes to see Clarke jumping next to her bed from happines. Lexa smiled lightly and wanted to say something but could barely speak.

Clarke jumped on the bed and hugged Lexa way to hard ‘’Oh my god! Lexa, it’s so good to see you!’’ Clarke said with tears in her eyes.  
Lexa chuckled and hugged Clarke back before carressing Clarkes face and leaning in to kiss her.  
Clarke kissed Lexa right back without any hesitation and smiled at Lexa before speaking ‘’I never told you before that I still love you’’ Clarke said feeling slightly embarrassed.  
Lexa whispered softly before smiling ‘’I love you too.’’

It was in this moment that Lexa knew that she had made the right choice. Even though Clarke would never remember, she was happy to be with her no matter what. Because she knew that in this live the two of them could live happily for a long time, without any trouble.


	25. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spent some time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last chapter. I hope you like it :)

……  
Lexa stood up from the bed and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room. She grabbed on of the magazines that Clarke had left for her. It had been three days since Lexa woke up. Clarke visited everyday and they talked for hours.  
‘’Hey’’ Clarke said interrupting Lexa who was still sitting in the chair.  
Lexa looked up and smiled at Clarke, her something ‘’Hey, you’’ Lexa said gently.  
Clarke laughed before sitting on the edge of the bed. Clarke grabbed something from her bag and handed it over to Lexa.   
Lexa looked curiously at Clarke. ‘’What’s that?’’ she asked surprised.  
‘’It wouldn’t be a surprise now, if I told you’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded before unwrapping the present. It revealed another book ‘’End of my dreams’’ was written on it. Lexa looked at the cover and saw the Commander on it. Lexa smiled graciously before looking up to Clarke ‘’Thank you’’ she said with a smile.  
‘’You’re welcome’’ Clarke said before leaning in for a quick kiss. ‘’I hope you like it. I knew how much you loved those books, so I got this one for you’’.  
‘’That’s sweet’’ Lexa admitted.  
‘’Well, you’re totally worth it’’ Clarke said blushing.   
‘’Speak for yourself. You’ve been such an amazing support’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’Always’’ Clarke smiled before speaking again. ‘’But Lex, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about’’ she said a bit awkward.  
‘’Yes, Clarke?’’ Lexa asked.  
‘’Well..I wanted to talk about us. I know I’ve said I love you but I don’t know what we are..’’ she said embarressed.  
Lexa grinned at Clarke before pushing Clarke down on the bed. Lexa climbed on top and leaned to kiss her. 

‘’Uhum’’ Abby said coughing, interrupting the girls.  
Clarke looked up at her mother ‘’Oh my god! Mom!’’ Clarke said embarressed.  
‘’Surely continue’’ Abby said sarcastically.  
‘’Miss. Griffin, I’m so sorry!’’ Lexa said before turning around to face Clarkes mother.  
‘’Don’t be. I should’ve knocked. Atleast you’re not that hairy douchebag of a Finn. I hated him since day one. You two fit much better’’ Abby said winking at the girls before leaving the room.

Clarke looked surprised after her mother, feeling embarrassed ‘’Well, that happened’’ Clarke said laughing.  
‘’Yeah’’ Lexa said teasingly. ‘’But to answer your question, Clarke. I’ve wanted to ask you something’’ Lexa said grinning.  
‘’Ask away, my lady’’ Clarke said teasingly before caressing Lexas cheek.  
Lexa smiled at Clarke ‘’Clarke Griffin, you’re the most beautiful, talented, sweetest, toughest, loving person I’ve ever met and I love you so much. Will you be my girlfriend?’’ Lexa asked with the biggest smile on her face.  
Clarke didn’t say a word but grabbed Lexa by her shirt and pussed her down on the bed, this time. She leaned in and kissed Lexa. Lexa kissed back, but interrupted their kiss for a second, ‘’so I guess that’s a yes?’’ Lexa asked teasingly.  
Clarke smiled ‘’You just had to ruin this moment, hadn’t you’’ she said with a smile.  
Lexa nodded ‘’Well, you’re way to beautiful, Griffin’’.  
‘’Thank you. And yes that’s my answer. No shut up’’ Clarke said before leaning in again to kiss her girlfriend.

……

Six months later..

‘’Lexa, Clarke is waiting!’’ Lexas mom said from downstairs.  
Lexa rushed to get her back and grabbed her jacket before heading downstairs. ‘’See you later’’ she said to her mother before she walked to Clarkes car.  
Clarke unlocked the door for Lexa and smiled at her girlfriend for a second before starting the car.  
‘’You’re late’’ Clarke said jokingly.  
‘’I’m sorry. You know it’s a habit, to turn up way to late to Kanes class’’ Lexa said before winking at her girlfriend.  
‘’Yeah, that’s true. But are you sure you’re ready to return to school today? I mean you’ve had a rough time. You were out of it for atleast six months’’ Clarke said worried.  
‘’Yes, I’m ready to go to school again because I’ve got you’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Clarke nodded and looked at her girlfriend for a second ‘’Of course’’ she said with a smile.

They arrived at school about 15 minutes later. Clarke and Lexa got out of the car and made way to the building when Lexa stopped Clarke in her tracks.  
‘’Wait a second’’ Lexa said softly.  
Clarke turned around and looked surprised at her girlfriend ‘’What’s up?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’Here. I got you this’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
Lexa handed over a small present. Clarke took it in her hand and looked at the little box. She opened it and saw a beautiful necklace in it. Clarke took the necklace out and studied it.  
It was a silver necklace with a ‘’The Helm of Awe’’ hanger. The Commander wore this on her forhead and Lexa knew this. It had been her symbol.   
‘’It’s beautiful!’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
Clarke put the necklace on and smiled at her girlfiend ‘’Thank you so much’’ she said before leaning in to kiss her girlfriend for a second.  
Lexa kissed her back ‘’Happy half year anniversary’’ she said softly.  
‘’What does this symbol mean?’’ Clarke asked.  
‘’It stands for protection. The Commander in the Grounder books wore the same piece on her forhead. I figured it’d be an amazing gift..’’ Lexa said with a smile.  
‘’Are you kidding me? I love it’’ Clarke said thankfull.  
‘’Awesome. But we should go. We’re late for Kanes class’’ Clarke said in a hurry.  
‘’Nah. Make him wait. You’re more important’’ Clarke said with a grin.

Later that day..

Lexa looked around the cafetaria and was looking for Clarke. She wasn’t paying attention and before she knew it she walked into Finn, the douchebag who had hit her with his car.  
‘’Oh! Shit’’ Finn said in a hurry, ready to leave as fast as he could.  
‘’Where are you going?’’ Lexa asked a bit annoyed.  
Finn didn’t answer and was about to turn around but was stopped in his tracks by Clarke.  
‘’Clarke..’’ Finn said embarressed.  
‘’Finn’’ Clarke said angry.  
‘’Are you seriously such a coward that you’re afraid to face her?’’ Clarke spat out.  
Finn looked with a furious look at Clarke but turned around and faced Lexa who was still standing behind him. ‘’I’m sorry’’ he said to Lexa, while looking at the ground.  
‘’Yeah, I forgive you’’ Lexa said with a grin.  
Finn looked relieved and smiled at Lexa ‘’Thank you..’’.  
‘’No, no. Don’t thank me, just yet’’ Lexa said before taking a swing at him. Lexa hit him right in his face.  
‘’AUCH!’’ Finn screamed out.   
‘’That was for cheating on Clarke’’ Lexa said angry.   
‘’Bitch!’’ Finn yelled. ‘’I’ve already had community service!’’ He said angry before wanting to hit Lexa.  
‘’Don’t even dare’’ Clarke said angry.  
Finn took a deep sigh and ran away from them, his nose was bleeding so he left a trail of blood behind him.

Clarke looked after him until he was gone. ‘’You didn’t have to do that’’ Clarke said with a smile at Lexa.  
‘’Yes I had to. He’s a jerk, plus he cheated on you. Multiple times, he’s such a dick!’’ Lexa said way to loud.  
‘’Where’s that douche?’’ Raven said with a grin from behind Lexa.  
Clarke and Lexa turned around to see Raven, Octavia and Lincoln standing behind them. ‘’He ran away when I hit him’’ Lexa said.  
‘’Good job’’ Raven said with a smile before introducing herself to Lexa ‘’Hi. We’ve met but I’m not sure if you remember. I’m Raven. And this is Octavia with her boyfriend, Lincoln’’ Raven said.  
‘’Nice to meet you’’ Lexa said with a smile. Trying to act as if she didn’t know all of this people. Of course she did, but she was the only one who remembered. Somehow she didn’t mind.

‘’Sorry to interrupt, but I want to borrow my girlfriend for a second’’ Clarke said with a smile.  
‘’Go ahead, Clexa all the way’’ Raven said with a grin.  
‘’Clexa, huh?’’ Lexa asked. ‘’That’s the spirit’’ she said with a grin before taking Clarkes hand and leaving the rest behind to spend the rest of her time with the blonde skygirl she had loved, through all of her lives.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this all went so fast. I'm happy with the way it ended.   
> I'm thinking about writing a sequel, let me know if you guys want one :)!  
> Cheers! And thank you for sticking with me this long. Means the world to me. Love you guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :) I've been having ideas for writing a story like this for months now and I finally got the courage to do so. I hope you guys like my idea :)  
> Enjoy :) Reviews are always welcome!


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